How to know if it's truly over

[Fig70]

My friend and his wife have 3 kids- 2 grown and one a couple years away from graduation. They have separated a few times. This last time he went back home because the youngest was struggling. He says the marriage is over- and they sleep in separate bedrooms. He says he plans to leave once the youngest graduates. They don’t spend much time together but seem to have maintained a friendship. But I notice that he still depends on her to do things like make dr appointments and fill meds. Is this normal?

[Pumpernickel]

I know a similar couple. They eventually did divorce after about 30 years, though, but mutual respect and somewhat of a friendly relationship/friendship kept them together for a while longer. And of course the children. 

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, Fig70 said:

He says the marriage is over- and they sleep in separate bedrooms. He says he plans to leave once the youngest graduates. 

Is this friend a lover? These sound like the typical, well rehearsed cheating spouse lines. 

"Like roommates", "when kids are older", are the usual .

You mentioned "the last time he went back home was when..." 

Was he staying with you at that time?

[Fig70]

No he wasnt staying with me.  He is a close friend.

[d0nnivain]

For some people it is "normal."  She's always done it so he has her due it.  His life is easier.  

My aunt & uncle have been divorced for more than 35 years & she STILL makes appointments for him.  All of their SOs over the years dealt with it.  There is never drama.  We all spend holidays together -- them & their SOs -- one big happy family.  

For couples like this, they like & respect each other well enough to function together but there is no more love / romance.  

If it works for them, it's no skin off your nose.  

[Fig70]

Good input. Thank you!

[chillii]

Yeah , whatever's normal for them is normal , theirs anyway. Couples have all kinds of ways in this sort of thing.