blackiron Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 Here's my background. Met a girl on hinge a few months ago. We talked a little bit, followed each other on Instagram. We communicated lightly for about two months. Two weeks ago, I decided to ask her out for a drink. We had a great first date that ended with a kiss. We just had our second date a few days ago. She works 12 hour shifts, 7 days on, then 7 days off, night shift. We had dinner a few hours before she had to go to work, we finished early and she invited me back to her apartment which lead to some making out, pretty tame stuff. I would say it was a pretty good second date, she even joked if I could come to work with her. I texted her the day after, just a related joke (not sexual) from the night before and she never responded. I haven't texted her since then. Tomorrow will be 3 days. Obviously, I think we had a great 2nd date. She's posted a little bit on social media since then, so have I but no direct communication. For whatever reason, I think she's completely lost interest which I'm sure someone will tell me I'm crazy and others will tell me to trust my gut. My plan is to text her tomorrow, something light like how her week off is going. If she texts back, I plan to ask her to get together later in the week. If she doesn't text me back, I will assume it is over and will not be sending anymore texts. Does this sound reasonable? I hate having dating anxiety.
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 Ughhhhhhh. Revenge of the Texts. I agree. This kind of thing can drive a person batty. It's hard, but give her a couple more days. This is really really new. If she did lose interest, hard as it is, you really never did know her. Not after two dates. You will feel sad (very normal for anyone with a heart) but you haven't actually lost anything. Just check in a few days from now. Unless you hear from her first, which is still possible.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 6 hours ago, blackiron said: My plan is to text her tomorrow, something light like how her week off is going. If she texts back, I plan to ask her to get together later in the week. Yes, I think that is reasonable. And you're right - if she doesn't respond to this, you can assume it's a no-go and keep moving. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 Let go of the anxiety. There is no reason for it. You seem to have a level head on your shoulders & are doing things right. Go with your plan. If she doesn't text back to your 2nd attempt, her loss. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 11 hours ago, blackiron said: I think we had a great 2nd date. After 2 days you are both talking to and meeting others. Just curious why you chatted for months before asking her on a date? She may be turned off by that level of low-interest.
Author blackiron Posted June 29, 2021 Author Posted June 29, 2021 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: After 2 days you are both talking to and meeting others. Just curious why you chatted for months before asking her on a date? She may be turned off by that level of low-interest. I had a lot of things coming up through work and life in general and didn't feel like I could commit the amount of time to dating. I was in the process of losing over thirty pounds and didn't feel confidant early on either. 1
Pumpernickel Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: She may be turned off by that level of low-interest. That's irrelevant, as she did meet him and they had a "date". The issue is her lack of communication after the date, not before, so something might have been off in her opinion during the date, or (she was totally smitten and therefore) wants to play it cool, or she's busy. We may find out later. I wouldn't sweat it yet.
BeanCounter Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 I'd make the next text asking about plans to hang out again. It's already been 3 days with no communication... If she doesn't respond to that you have an answer, and if she does respond you have an answer as well
Wiseman2 Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Pumpernickel said: That's irrelevant Waiting months to meet is a huge red flag. Especially when there's an excuse about 'too busy to date' or 'working on oneself'. Edited June 29, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2021 Posted June 30, 2021 She's probably has another date lined up with someone else....you know keeping her options open. Just me but I would write this one off because if communication can't be consistent, then why bother. Not worth chewing your nails over.
Miss Spider Posted June 30, 2021 Posted June 30, 2021 I’d say message her again and then move on.. only been a couple dates, people lose interest/realize it’s not there. Sorry. 1
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