Marka Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 Met this guy on dating app, we had interesting conversation over several days and then he asked for my number to arrange smth for us if I agree. I said yes and left him number. Havent heard anything from him neither on app nor on whats app. I just don't get it. If you are not interested in a person just don't reply or unmatch. What is the point of taking a number and then didnt text. I sent him a follow up message couple of days ago, but no reply. And no unmatch either. I kinda liked him because all his messages were respectful and well thought. It is not very common to find on dating up nowadays. Obviously I am not gonna reach again as he is not interested. But this is just weird. Have you faced this a lot? Or have you done it yourself? What is the logic behid it? Guy is in his 30ies, so should be relatively experienced and mature.
stillafool Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 The problem is there are so many choices for guys and they find a girl they're iinterested in and have good conversations and then they meet another that is more interesting, and then another that is more interesting than her. So no one wants to settle especially if they know that girl is looking for something serious or a relationship. I think it's better to meet guys in person and date. Still no guarantees. 1
smackie9 Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 Or the guy is married or has a GF and he is seeing if he still has it or he chickened out. 1
Sun Seeker Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 You are taking this a bit too personally don't you think? It's not weird.. it's online dating.. you should expect this as the norm. Most likely he decided to pursue someone else for whatever reason. Just because you exchange a few messages and give your number doesn't mean it has to go any further. Try sticking to meeting people in real life, much better. 1
Author Marka Posted June 28, 2021 Author Posted June 28, 2021 Yes, of course. He doesn't owe me anything. Just makes me hard to understand why people say that respect is a key and then ghost, which is the opposite of what they are saying. Meeting in a real life is much better indeed but COVID made it complicated.
stillafool Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 23 minutes ago, Marka said: Meeting in a real life is much better indeed but COVID made it complicated. Well thank God restrictions are being lifted so you can get back out there. 1
Fletch Lives Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 In dating, count on nothing until you have dated for a time and they have fallen in love with you. Until then, you have no hook to keep them there and they can flake at anytime 2
Wiseman2 Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 5 hours ago, Marka said: Met this guy on dating app, we had interesting conversation over several days and then he asked for my number to arrange smth for us if I agree. I said yes and left him number. Havent heard anything from him neither on app nor on whats app. Sorry this happened. Unfortunately the red flags were not asking to meet up and all the lateral moves. Dating app messaging to Whatsapp messaging/asking for your number are redundant. He seems like a waste of time. Someone who is talking to and (possibly) meeting women, but collects numbers. Just delete and block him from your messaging apps and devices. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 People on apps / OLD can be flakey. Assume the worst but be pleasantly surprised if you get something else. 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 5 hours ago, Marka said: Met this guy on dating app, we had interesting conversation over several days and then he asked for my number to arrange smth for us if I agree. I said yes and left him number. Havent heard anything from him neither on app nor on whats app. I just don't get it. If you are not interested in a person just don't reply or unmatch. What is the point of taking a number and then didnt text. I sent him a follow up message couple of days ago, but no reply. And no unmatch either. I kinda liked him because all his messages were respectful and well thought. It is not very common to find on dating up nowadays. Obviously I am not gonna reach again as he is not interested. But this is just weird. Have you faced this a lot? Or have you done it yourself? What is the logic behid it? Guy is in his 30ies, so should be relatively experienced and mature. You know, sometimes you think a person might be fun to go out with, then later on you're just not compelled, for whatever reason. It can definitely happen. Why ask for the number...well, he was liking the conversation at the time. Better to have the number, right? This is VERY early stages stuff, like even before a first date. Trust me, you're not the only person this has happened to. You didn't even go out yet so you haven't lost anything at all except a few minutes of a fun conversation. You didn't do anything wrong, nor did he, you're just not a match. Next guy! 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: People on apps / OLD can be flakey. Assume the worst but be pleasantly surprised if you get something else. This is true, although even in the "old days" it wasn't uncommon to have a guy approach and ask for a number but then never call. It's just something that happens...later on he isn't compelled, for whatever reason. At the time, getting the number seems like a good idea because he's thinking he MAY want to go out. I mean...some things just don't pan out. Just my $0.02 based on having dated before internet dating really took off as a commonplace thing.
stillafool Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 4 hours ago, Marka said: Yes, of course. He doesn't owe me anything. Just makes me hard to understand why people say that respect is a key and then ghost, which is the opposite of what they are saying. Meeting in a real life is much better indeed but COVID made it complicated. I doubt if he was trying to disrespect you but what would he say. "I called to tell you I'm not interested and won't be calling or chatting again, take care." That is about all he could say at this point. Is that what you want to hear? 1
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 It's a matter of expectations. Do not get invested until after you speak & go on a few dates. Keeping your emotions in check -- meaning it's nice if they call but no real skin off your nose if they don't -- saves on a lot of heartache / disappointment.
glows Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, smackie9 said: Or the guy is married or has a GF and he is seeing if he still has it or he chickened out. Agree. As sobering as this thought is it made me lol Marka, keep it focused on meeting in person. Anything else is white noise. Don't worry about this and see who comes up next. Edited June 28, 2021 by glows 2
Author Marka Posted June 28, 2021 Author Posted June 28, 2021 Thank you all for your replies. I ve heard that online dating culture is extremely low. Now i know that it is not rumour. Will keep my search, hopefully I will not meet many frogs before I find a right guy 2 1
SHGal0211 Posted June 28, 2021 Posted June 28, 2021 You probably not his first choice. I'd forget about him and move on. Who knows maybe he will text you (when things don't work out with other women), and when you totally forget about it.
Author Marka Posted June 29, 2021 Author Posted June 29, 2021 5 hours ago, stillafool said: I doubt if he was trying to disrespect you but what would he say. "I called to tell you I'm not interested and won't be calling or chatting again, take care." That is about all he could say at this point. Is that what you want to hear? Well no, but at least replying on my follow up message on the app, saying that met someone else or even unmatching, still better than ignoring. He was the one saying how important it is to treat people with respect etc, so this ignoring stuff came as surprise for me.
Ami1uwant Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 11 hours ago, Marka said: Met this guy on dating app, we had interesting conversation over several days and then he asked for my number to arrange smth for us if I agree. I said yes and left him number. Havent heard anything from him neither on app nor on whats app. I just don't get it. If you are not interested in a person just don't reply or unmatch. What is the point of taking a number and then didnt text. I sent him a follow up message couple of days ago, but no reply. And no unmatch either. I kinda liked him because all his messages were respectful and well thought. It is not very common to find on dating up nowadays. Obviously I am not gonna reach again as he is not interested. But this is just weird. Have you faced this a lot? Or have you done it yourself? What is the logic behid it? Guy is in his 30ies, so should be relatively experienced and mature. Things do happen...lost number , lost text, etc. he might not yet know is work schedule. Might not call till he knows what he has free. So me jobs have rotational schedule like working nights or weekends. he’s likely bookmarking the number since you likely aren’t the only one he’s talking to or planning on dating.
Author Marka Posted June 29, 2021 Author Posted June 29, 2021 1 minute ago, Ami1uwant said: Things do happen...lost number , lost text, etc. he might not yet know is work schedule. Might not call till he knows what he has free. So me jobs have rotational schedule like working nights or weekends. he’s likely bookmarking the number since you likely aren’t the only one he’s talking to or planning on dating. It s been over a week, so pretty much long time to figure out his work schedule. I think I will just unmatch him myself. Like to keep things tidy 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, Marka said: Well no, but at least replying on my follow up message on the app, saying that met someone else or even unmatching, still better than ignoring. He was the one saying how important it is to treat people with respect etc, so this ignoring stuff came as surprise for me. Yeah, but to be real about it...somebody you literally just met...I mean...that seems awkward and almost kind of odd. It seems over-the-top and in a way sort of salt in a wound to just talk to somebody once, then go out of your way to let them know you're not attracted to them, LOL. JMO. 1
HotRevolver93 Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 One of my friends does this just to test himself to see if he can still pull numbers 1
cleverusername Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 I have been guilty of this in real life..... chatting with a woman, conversation is going well, she's flirting with me, so I ask her for her number because I'm interested in the moment. Later on, when I think about it I'm not "wowed' enough out of the moment to set something up. It's like clothes shopping. You buy something because it looks great in the store, then you never wear it and it sits in the closet.
MsJayne Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 8 hours ago, Marka said: hopefully I will not meet many frogs before I find a right guy You will meet many frogs, a few toads, and maybe one or two psychos, because it's OLD. Just sayin'
Author Marka Posted June 29, 2021 Author Posted June 29, 2021 You guys are right. Massively overthinking this one. I just expected him to behave as I would have in similar situation, but obviously all people are different. If I face similar situation in the future, I will just quickly move on. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 29, 2021 Posted June 29, 2021 8 hours ago, Marka said: , saying that met someone else or even unmatching, still better than ignoring. You're not dating, no less in a relationship. He doesn't owe you an explanation. Just delete and block him. Don't stew about how random dating app people "should" act. Make sure you are ready to date and not harboring baggage from someplace that's causing this disproportionate reaction.
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