Author Dis Posted August 3, 2021 Author Posted August 3, 2021 9 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: Sounds like something they say to make you feel good. As in: If he thought you were crazy and emo like “all the other chicks” he wouldn’t even talk to you right now. Is my guess. Well, buckle up then bruh! 1
glows Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Dis said: Why do guys always say things like this..."Would be nice to find a women who wasn't overly emotional and doesn't flip out over burning pasta sauce" or "I don't get why women have to be so over the top with emotions" or "If I have to date another crazy chick" This would be an instant unmatch from me. Those comments are sexist. 3
Author Dis Posted August 3, 2021 Author Posted August 3, 2021 24 minutes ago, glows said: This would be an instant unmatch from me. Those comments are sexist. Well that's what it seems like to me too and it is off putting I don't go around saying, men are d*cks. I've had several men say negative things about women but it's not even that they're intending to be offensive, or at least I don't think they are...think they just get too comfy in the moment and just say it. 1
glows Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Dis said: Well that's what it seems like to me too and it is off putting I don't go around saying, men are d*cks. I've had several men say negative things about women but it's not even that they're intending to be offensive, or at least I don't think they are...think they just get too comfy in the moment and just say it. Ugh. It would be a twinge in my heart and a disappointment. It's not a joke. Sorry that you had to be around that. 2
chillii Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, Dis said: Okay so talking to this new guy now. Our schedules aren't lining up well so the date is over a week out unless we can do Sunday. He calls me and sounds great. We have a good amount in common in terms of similar view points and he's funny, a good conversationalist, and is very communicative. We just talked on the phone for an hour and it felt like 5 minutes! My question is.... Why do guys always say things like this..."Would be nice to find a women who wasn't overly emotional and doesn't flip out over burning pasta sauce" or "I don't get why women have to be so over the top with emotions" or "If I have to date another crazy chick" I get there's truly crazy women out there but why do men have to view women that way? Women are women...emotions and all. Don't know why men expect women to men in that sense. They want the a$$ and boobs just not the emotions that go along with what makes us women. My exs said similar things but then ended up tolerating me just fine and I'm a little crazy...I was the one who ended up leaving. Is this just guy talk or something bigger? l dunno if it's just guy talk and l am one haha. But he's def' had his share of those that's pretty obvious so if your anything like that l wouldn't even bother with him bc no matter what the prance now, he won't cut it with you. But l do know and had quite a few mates over the yrs with crazy women that l wouldn't care what they are l wouldn't touch with a barge pole. Others are ok but for sure way way over emotional and anything else thrown into just about any mix you can think of. Women don't know what their friends or other women put guys through believe me, and don't listen to what they tell you. lt's one story for you but the reality is for the bf or h believe me. lt is hard though maybe impossible finding someone slightly even keeled though. Mind you , l don't like boring even , and l adore different and emotion, and no l'd certainly have zero interest in a man women that'd turn me so of the rest. Love all the things that make women women, but many do have a triple dose and that just make them a pain in the arse , there's a very very big difference between the two of what l'm saying. Edited August 3, 2021 by chillii 1
NuevoYorko Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 I think that for both men and women, somebody making disparaging generalizations about the opposite sex or, worse, their own ex (or exes) during dating forays would be a massive blindingly crimson flag. It's something I encountered quite a bit during my online dating periods and it was a definite deal breaker regardless of any positive qualities the woman might have had. 2 1
basil67 Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 3 hours ago, Dis said: My question is.... Why do guys always say things like this..."Would be nice to find a women who wasn't overly emotional and doesn't flip out over burning pasta sauce" or "I don't get why women have to be so over the top with emotions" or "If I have to date another crazy chick" I get there's truly crazy women out there but why do men have to view women that way? Women are women...emotions and all. Don't know why men expect women to men in that sense. They want the a$$ and boobs just not the emotions that go along with what makes us women. Do you realise that when you asked "why do guys always say things like this", you just did the same thing as he did? Generalising behaviour across a whole gender Thing is though, I bet you know that what you said isn't true and perhaps it was just a slip of the tongue. So little forgiveness for accidental generalised behaviour is wise. That said, this sounds very over the top and like he does it frequently. It could be that he doesn't realise what he's doing. Or it could be that he truly thinks all women are bat sh*t crazy. If you think he has potential other than this, the next time he does it, ask if he recognises that he has a habit of making broad and unkind generalisations about women. If he reconsiders his behaviour, and stops generalising and complaining, he could be worth going on more dates with. If he tells you that all woman are crazy, then stop seeing him. Or if you don't care either way, you could just dump him and move on without having the discussion. 5
NuevoYorko Posted August 3, 2021 Posted August 3, 2021 11 hours ago, basil67 said: That said, this sounds very over the top and like he does it frequently. It could be that he doesn't realise what he's doing. Or it could be that he truly thinks all women are bat sh*t crazy. Another option is that it's an easy pitch of flattery that a lot of women, maybe men as well, seem to eat up. "You're not like other girls." Cliché. 2
Author Dis Posted August 5, 2021 Author Posted August 5, 2021 I nexted him Was already getting turned off I hate that I'm getting so turned off by these guys...probably because I do have a distraction going on 2
Miss Spider Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) I understand your feeling. What’s the distraction? Haha Edited August 5, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1
Gaeta Posted August 5, 2021 Posted August 5, 2021 5 hours ago, Dis said: probably because I do have a distraction going on What or who is that distraction? 1
Author Dis Posted August 6, 2021 Author Posted August 6, 2021 (edited) Okay... the distraction is the distraction and I'm sure I'd be picked apart if I said who it was but sometimes it's not so easy to say goodbye Guess what happened tonight at work??!!!? I was sending a patient out because he was having a stroke (just noted on an MRI...not happening at the present moment) and this EMT shows up and I had seen him before. He was he one who always flirted with me and had a really good vibe to him. Asked me if I needed a boost to unlock the door for him (I'm 5'2). I always felt a pull when we saw each other. So this time I'm running around getting paperwork ready and he's following me around...he doesn't have to. But he does. He's joking as I give him report on the patient. We had just gotten a new computer system and they didn't give training on it so I'm trying to figure out how to print out the transfer paperwork for what felt like forever as he stood beside me chatting me up. I finally figure it out after some flirting exchanges from both sides. The chemistry was there. There was a strong pull...always missed that organic pull with OLD. As the patient was being sent out we where walking down the hall towards the door and I asked him if he wanted my number. He said, I'm glad you asked because I couldn't work up the nerve to ask you. He gives me a pen because his phone was in the ambulance and he held the paper for me with his hand cupped under my hand as I wrote it down. Then I run and get the keys to let him out and he askes me what time I'm off work and I say midnight. He says he'll talk to me then...the chemistry running through us... It was all a blur but it felt like lightening He texts me at 9:30 and we texts until I get home. He asks me lots of questions. We got all the important things down. He's 40. No kids. Recently divorced which could be an issue but might not be. He said the love was lost much sooner than the papers were signed. I get that too. I've had break ups where the feelings were gone way before I left. He was so sweet but genuine and chatty. Texted back in a flash. Asking and saying all the right things. It was mutual and electric and magical I'm excited for once in a way I don't think I could be with OLD, I'm just so excited.... Edited August 6, 2021 by Dis 2
Gaeta Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Dis said: I'm excited for once in a way I don't think I could be with OLD, I'm just so excited.... Ohhhhhhhhhh that's exciting!! Why would we pick you apart?? I may have missed one of your threads? 1
Weezy1973 Posted August 6, 2021 Posted August 6, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: Ohhhhhhhhhh that's exciting!! Why would we pick you apart?? I may have missed one of your threads? I’m guessing because her ex was a colleague? But that’s really not the reason we were picking her apart for that one…this sounds like a good start to me! Edited August 6, 2021 by Weezy1973 1
Author Dis Posted August 9, 2021 Author Posted August 9, 2021 yeap....it's the ex Pile on now... lol 1
Author Dis Posted August 13, 2021 Author Posted August 13, 2021 (edited) Going out with the EMT/fire fighter tomorrow night! He texts me all the time, visits me at work and brings me iced teas lol. He seems sweet too. I feel like that's been missing from the guys I've been talking to and I really appreciate that quality in a man. He posts some things on fb that are cute too about relationships. He seems to be a romantic/relationship oriented type of dude. I like that too. But he's so damn skinny! I'm used to big guys...guys with a mix of muscle and fat. This guy has some muscle but no fat whatsoever. He's 5'11 though. I almost feel like I'm bigger than him because I'm thicc. Not overweight, but thicc. I don't want to feel bigger than the dude I'm dating. Eh, we'll see. I don't want to keep looking for issues with men because no one is perfect...I'm being too picky and finicky ...I know! Edited August 13, 2021 by Dis 2
Gaeta Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 11 hours ago, Dis said: But he's so damn skinny! I'm used to big guys...guys with a mix of muscle and fat. This guy has some muscle but no fat whatsoever. He's 5'11 though. I almost feel like I'm bigger than him because I'm thicc. Not overweight, but thicc. I don't want to feel bigger than the dude I'm dating. Eh, we'll see. I don't want to keep looking for issues with men because no one is perfect...I'm being too picky and finicky ...I know! Give it a bit of time. You already like him for other aspects so give things a bit of room to grow. When I met my recent ex I almost didn't see him again because I thought he was too thin. He was 6'3'' and 165lbs, that tells you how lean he was BUT in no time he grew super sexy to me....after I witness how strong he was lol. I got this stupid idea that the man I'm dating has to be able to pull me out of a lake. I know I know stupid.
introverted1 Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 18 minutes ago, JRabbit said: I love tall and lanky...sounds very sexy!! Yep - this is my preference, too. 3
glows Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 14 hours ago, Dis said: Going out with the EMT/fire fighter tomorrow night! He texts me all the time, visits me at work and brings me iced teas lol. He seems sweet too. I feel like that's been missing from the guys I've been talking to and I really appreciate that quality in a man. He posts some things on fb that are cute too about relationships. He seems to be a romantic/relationship oriented type of dude. I like that too. But he's so damn skinny! I'm used to big guys...guys with a mix of muscle and fat. This guy has some muscle but no fat whatsoever. He's 5'11 though. I almost feel like I'm bigger than him because I'm thicc. Not overweight, but thicc. I don't want to feel bigger than the dude I'm dating. Eh, we'll see. I don't want to keep looking for issues with men because no one is perfect...I'm being too picky and finicky ...I know! I don't have a type but if he treats you well, that is good. Hope the date goes well. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, introverted1 said: Yep - this is my preference, too. Me threeeee. Gimme all ur bean poles Edited August 13, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 On 8/6/2021 at 3:15 AM, Dis said: Okay... the distraction is the distraction and I'm sure I'd be picked apart if I said who it was but sometimes it's not so easy to say goodbye Guess what happened tonight at work??!!!? I was sending a patient out because he was having a stroke (just noted on an MRI...not happening at the present moment) and this EMT shows up and I had seen him before. He was he one who always flirted with me and had a really good vibe to him. Asked me if I needed a boost to unlock the door for him (I'm 5'2). I always felt a pull when we saw each other. So this time I'm running around getting paperwork ready and he's following me around...he doesn't have to. But he does. He's joking as I give him report on the patient. We had just gotten a new computer system and they didn't give training on it so I'm trying to figure out how to print out the transfer paperwork for what felt like forever as he stood beside me chatting me up. I finally figure it out after some flirting exchanges from both sides. The chemistry was there. There was a strong pull...always missed that organic pull with OLD. As the patient was being sent out we where walking down the hall towards the door and I asked him if he wanted my number. He said, I'm glad you asked because I couldn't work up the nerve to ask you. He gives me a pen because his phone was in the ambulance and he held the paper for me with his hand cupped under my hand as I wrote it down. Then I run and get the keys to let him out and he askes me what time I'm off work and I say midnight. He says he'll talk to me then...the chemistry running through us... It was all a blur but it felt like lightening He texts me at 9:30 and we texts until I get home. He asks me lots of questions. We got all the important things down. He's 40. No kids. Recently divorced which could be an issue but might not be. He said the love was lost much sooner than the papers were signed. I get that too. I've had break ups where the feelings were gone way before I left. He was so sweet but genuine and chatty. Texted back in a flash. Asking and saying all the right things. It was mutual and electric and magical I'm excited for once in a way I don't think I could be with OLD, I'm just so excited.... this is so cool. I love everything going on here hope it keeps going well!!! 2
Author Dis Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) An update So the figher fighter/EMT and I had our date It was okay...he seems like a really nice person. Christian which I am not...but seems to be very sweet which I like. He was complimentary, told me I looked amazing right when I walked in. Complimented me on my nails, my eye lashes. He had a cute personality. Seemed a little intimated by me at times which I could oddly pick up but the convo was pretty good. Only thing is he seems a little goody two shoes, not really funny, kinda dorky and not really in a good way. No swag so to speak. Which was weird because he totally did when we met at work so I think it was partly because he was really nervous. He said he hadn't been out on a date since 2014....which leads me to the next issue.... So when we first started texting he told me he's divorced and that the divorce is recent but the lost love is not. His words. So I looked up the court case and it's not finalized. So, technically he's separated. I talked to him about this today and he said he didn't mean to mislead me and in his mind it's over and he tells everyone who asks that he's divorced because in his mind he is and it didn't occur to him to specify. But he didn't really directly address it when I asked which bugged me. But he was understanding why it would bother me and why he should've clarified. He was nice about it but still...not entirely honest or direct. So yeap...not good. I know. So right now I feel meh about him. But sooner or later I feel meh about all these guys. No one is really doing it for me. I'll go out with him again because I think there's a baseline connection but not much more...but maybe a deeper one could develop. I think because I still love my ex I'm not opening my heart to anyone else...that's what a friend said. Another friend said I'm not going to move on from him until I meet someone really special. But honestly, at 35 years old and having been dating since I was in high school...I just don't get excited like I used to. I don't romanticize anyone anymore but in a bad way... I don't get excited anymore, or if I do the excitement is short lived and then I end up getting turned off. I've done this so many times it's so old now. I don't even go on OLD anymore because it just seems boring and uninspiring. It's the same s$it to me. I won't get excited until something goes somewhere with someone really special. But the above is why this guy might be a good fit for now because we both don't know what we're looking for. I'm not really actively looking anymore either. something is just going to have to fall in my lap for me to try it out. Edited August 18, 2021 by Dis 2
glows Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 I relate. I wouldn’t see this man again. He’s a bit deluded about what divorce means. Having been through the one year separation and the divorce proceedings myself revisiting and tying up loose ends legally/financially/mentally/emotionally and sealing that door, let me tell you… that is a bloody badge you wear with pride. If someone comes along separated pretending to be divorced already he would not have my respect. Good for you for thinking on your feet and looking up his case. 3
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