Am I crazy to think this?

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

It sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner and giving just enough (a text here and there following an egg mcmuffin) to keep you on the hook.

Yep that's how I'm feeling right now. I am ignoring his text today but I need to meet with him tomorrow face to face and discuss. 

[Tinyjaguar]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

What do you mean noncommittal?

I mean all the one line messages and not offering plans. He seems to have a very casual approach to the relationship, where as you want to know what is going on.

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

What do you mean noncommittal?

You know what noncommittal means.  He isn't making any commitments to see you,  He has you on the back burner.  He didn't see you Saturday night nor the 4th of July.  Those are major date nights when you're in a relationship.  Especially a new one he should be HOT to see you.

[Wiseman2]

Just now, Britney25 said:

I will ignore this text and tomorrow I will ask to meet and see what happens.

You seem to be crawling out of your skin, when you could have spent a nice holiday with friends and family and let him spend his with his friend, instead you are glued to the phone on a manic runaway roller-coaster crying, angry, guessing, etc. 

All you need to know is why you wish to go further with someone who treats you like this. Rather than confront him begging for answers on the state of  relationship talk, tell him it's not working and dump him..

[poppyfields]

23 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He just texted thinking of you baby

Between this^, and the breakfast this morning he is overcompensating for something, my guess is another woman, I hope I'm wrong.

If me, and my goal was a "relationship" (which it's not right now), after only four months, which is the time to observe actions to determine if someone is right for long term, I'd wish him well and walk.

He is overcompensating, it's akin to a husband having an affair and bringing flowers home to his wife every night.

It's too much, overkill, a way to throw you off the scent.

That's my take anyway,.

Sorry Brit and again hope I'm wrong. 

 

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by poppyfields

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said:

I mean all the one line messages and not offering plans. He seems to have a very casual approach to the relationship, where as you want to know what is going on.

Oh God you are right. I have been played all this time. Maybe at the beginning he was crazy for me but now he is pulling away . Yeah I need to talk with him about the relationship. 

[Miss Spider]

Yes, but not only a casual approach the relationship, but that he’s talking out of both sides of his mouth. Which is arguably more concerning. “Oh I love you so much, can’t wait to take trips with you, can’t wait to have babies, oh baby girl I miss you so much “…while being minutes away and preferring to spend time with someone else. “Oh but hey I bought you some snaks” 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You know what noncommittal means.  He isn't making any commitments to see you,  He has you on the back burner.  He didn't see you Saturday night nor the 4th of July.  Those are major date nights when you're in a relationship.  Especially a new one he should be HOT to see you.

Yes now I understand. Should I tell him today or tomorrow that I want to meet? I think better tomorrow. 

[stillafool]

I hope you will at least go out with some friends and watch fireworks tonight.  Don't let him ruin your entire 4th.

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You seem to be crawling out of your skin, when you could have spent a nice holiday with friends and family and let him spend his with his friend, instead you are glued to the phone on a manic runaway roller-coaster crying, angry, guessing, etc. 

All you need to know is why you wish to go further with someone who treats you like this. Rather than confront him begging for answers on the state of  relationship talk, tell him it's not working and dump him..

Because I still want to talk and hear him out.

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

Yes now I understand. Should I tell him today or tomorrow that I want to meet? I think better tomorrow. 

Yes do not reply to his pathetic text.

[stillafool]

Can I ask you if you two have established a relationship and you only live 10 minutes away, why haven't you introduced your new boyfriend to your parents yet?

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Between this^, and the breakfast this morning he is overcompensating for something, my guess is another woman, I hope I'm wrong.

If me, and my goal was a "relationship" (which it's not right now), after only four months, which is the time to observe actions to determine if someone is right for long term, I'd wish him well and walk.

He is overcompensating, it's akin to a husband having an affair and bringing flowers to his wife every night.

It's too much, overkill, a way to throw you off the scent.

Sorry Brit and again hope I'm wrong. 

 

 

I think you are right. Should I text him for a meeting tomorrow today or tomorrow? I do want to talk with him even thou he might be seeing someone. I think tomorrow is better thou.

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Can I ask you if you two have established a relationship and you only live 10 minutes away, why haven't you introduced your new boyfriend to your parents yet?

He spoke with my Mom .

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He spoke with my Mom .

Was it in person?  If not, why?

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Because I still want to talk and hear him out.

Brit, see my previous post, but NO..

It's only been four months, this is the time during which you observe his actions to determine if he's the right fit for YOU.

It's not the time for "talks" or negotiating needs, that comes AFTER it's been determined he IS the right fit for you and you for him.

Here, you are not the right fit for each other, very clearly.

My advice?  Forget the "talk," it's not likely you'd get the truth anyway, especially if he has begun seeing someone else. 

Tell him this isn't working for you, wish him well and say goodbye.. 

No drama, no histrionics.

Just bye.

Moving forward, aim higher. Never accept less than what you want for yourself and feel you deserve.. 

 

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by poppyfields

[Britney25]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I hope you will at least go out with some friends and watch fireworks tonight.  Don't let him ruin your entire 4th.

Happy 4th btw!! I am grateful for your advise and everyone's else's. I really am.

[Wiseman2]

Just now, stillafool said:

Was it in person?  If not, why?

Agree. What is the real issue with that? Is there something you are hiding from him? How can he take you seriously? 

Why make up nonsense like "should meet his first" or "they spoke"?

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Brit, see my previous post, but no.

It's only been four months, this is the when you observe his actions to determine if he's the right fit.

It's not the time for "talks" or negotiating needs, that comes AFTER it's been determined he IS the right fit for you and you for him.

Here, you are not the right fit for each other, very clearly.

My advice?  Forget the "talk," it's not likely you'd get the truth anyway.

Tell him this isn't working for you, wish him well and say goodbye.. 

No drama, no histrionics.

Just bye.

Moving forward, aim higher. Never accept less than what you want for yourself and feel you deserve.. 

 

 

Why not talk? I need to know if these are just my assumptions. Others are telling me to talk but not accuse him of anything. 

[Britney25]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Agree. What is the real issue with that? Is there something you are hiding from him? How can he take you seriously? 

Why make up nonsense like "should meet his first" or "they spoke"?

Because I wasn't sure yet if he is serious about me so why should I introduce him to my parents. I told him Friday that they want to meet him. He was happy, but right now I dont even know where things are going.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

Others are telling me....

What do your parents know about him or think about him? Why isn't he allowed at your home? Do they know he's 40?

[Britney25]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Was it in person?  If not, why?

Over the phone. I thought it was still too early in case he isnt serious. I told him Friday my parents want to meet him and he said ok but right now I dont even know if that's going to happen. 

[Britney25]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

What do your parents know about him or think about him? Why isn't he allowed at your home? Do they know he's 40?

It's just 4months now..its not too late to introduce him now before I thought it was still a bit early that's all. They know everything about him.

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

What do your parents know about him or think about him? Why isn't he allowed at your home? Do they know he's 40?

So you're 25 and he's 40?

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

So you're 25 and he's 40?

No I'm 36