Am I crazy to think this?

[Britney25]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He told you friends were visiting so why didn't you go with your friends family?

Sadly yes, he's avoiding you. What did he send for breakfast? 

Why does it matter what he sent? It was a nice breakfast. 

[Miss Spider]

Yea, I didn’t mean do it today, but message him today to arrange a day to meet and talk. 
 

What Gaeta says is sad,  but typically true. Maybe there’s a rare chance he’ll step up when he sees you’re willing to assert your needs and boundaeies, but this is mostly about practice/ learning to do so. If you’re used to being meek in rships it’s hard to speak of about grievances to partners because you’re afraid of losing them or being “difficult”

 

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

Why does it matter what he sent? It was a nice breakfast. 

It's a weird thing to do. Like leaving some food for the dog while the people enjoy their holiday, so it won't chew up the furniture.

[elaine567]

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Wait until his visitors leave. Don't confront in a huff and of course his friends will tell him you're acting crazy. Cool your heels first.

It is not friends plural, it a friend singular he is meeting..
That may or may not be significant....

[Britney25]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's a weird thing to do. Like leaving some food for the dog while the people enjoy their holiday, so it won't chew up the furniture.

Hahaha at least you made me laugh.

Yes at first I thought it was a sweet gesture until I found out he didn't want to meet .

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, elaine567 said:

It is not friends plural, it a friend singular he is meeting..
That may or may not be significant....

It might be a lady friend for all I know.

[Britney25]

19 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Wait until his visitors leave. Don't confront in a huff and of course his friends will tell him you're acting crazy. Cool your heels first.

Oh yeah he said it's a friend

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Britney25 said:

Yeah we do need to talk. Tomorrow I am going to talk with him IF he texts me first.

Try to talk to him in person so you can see his expression which can tell you a lot.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Britney25 said:

Why he didnt want to spend the 4th with me?

This is the BIG question.  Was this friend a dude?

[Wiseman2]

44 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

It might be a lady friend for all I know.

Is it possible he reconnected with/met someone while away on his trip?

Was that when he started asking you not to stay over and stopped wanting to see you as much?

Edited July 4, 2021 by Wiseman2

[elaine567]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it possible he reconnect with/met someone while away on his trip?

That would be my bet too, the disconnect started just before he went on the trip.

Edited July 4, 2021 by elaine567
added quote

[Tinyjaguar]

I'm not defending the guy, but, most of the above is pure speculation. If there are any doubts, you need to have a proper clear the air talk with each other. Then you can make your decision to continue with the relationship or not. 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Tinyjaguar

[stillafool]

23 hours ago, beentheredonethat77 said:

I understand this -- your instincts know there is a shift and hes pulling back / possibly fading.. at the very least cooling off..  (as evidenced by drop in enthusiasm for you to stay over/ any discussions of future dying off).   It is very early (four months etc) as everyone has said.. and sometimes relationships that move so quickly at the start do crash and burn  -- i think what you want is a slow and steady incline and progression forward.

I do get why you feel unsettled and i do think he may be fading.   His nicknames etc i wouldn't pay much attention to, its his action (or inaction) i would focus on.

Personally, i would not bring it up for discussion as he may be processing and unsure how he feels himself.. just that he feels suffocated or uncertain.  I would pull back myself.  Its not games, its self-preservation.  I would busy myself with hobbies and activities and give him enough space to miss me.. and see what he does with that space.  If he comes chasing you, then you can re-set the pace to a healthier one, if he doesn't then you know he wanted out.  

 

 

Britney you need to reread this post.

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said:

I'm not defending the guy, but, most of the above is pure speculation.

True, there may be many reasons he's pulling away, someone else is only one of many  possible reasons.

[Hopeful30]

On 6/27/2021 at 4:03 PM, Britney25 said:

Hi guys,

So I've been seeing a guy for 4 months now. Were boyfriend girlfriend.Finally found someone that I vibe with, the connection is great but recently hes been acting weird. Last week I saw him Saturday, we had dinner. He seemed like himself. Sunday he was texting and we had a great convo. Monday I saw him we had sex. Tuesday I saw him again but we did oral only no intercourse (which I thought was weird for us) then we cuddled in bed. He told me he's flying to Chicago on the weekend. So Wensday we didnt see each other only texting. Thursday he didnt plan with me anything which I was bummed about. Friday he texted that hes thinking of me and will be back Sunday.  Saturday he texts me from Chicago good morning with kisses,  then few hours later miss you. Today no text from him, so I text him have a good flight, he replies thank you baby cant wait to see you. Then I respond see you today or is tomorrow better. He instantly replies maybe tomorrow but for sure soon!!!! 

WTF?!! To me that's a sad ass response. It doesnt scream to me he's excited to see me. It feels like he's kinda becoming distant. Am I wrong to think this?? Of course I didnt respond anything to that because I am pissed and sad by how he responded. Why would he say but for sure soon? That's something you say to someone that's your friend or sister not someone who's supposedly were committed to each other. Is my intuition correct? Hes pulling away?

Thoughts?

It sounds like the classic "we want different things". You are looking for more serious and intimate communication, while he doesn't feel that expectation in this relationship. 

[Hopeful30]

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

True, there may be many reasons he's pulling away, someone else is only one of many  possible reasons.

OP, is this common for you? Do you find men pull away when you start to get serious about them? Could be a pattern to address.

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

This is the BIG question.  Was this friend a dude?

He claims it was

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it possible he reconnected with/met someone while away on his trip?

Was that when he started asking you not to stay over and stopped wanting to see you as much?

No after his trip we still saw each other. 

[Britney25]

20 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

OP, is this common for you? Do you find men pull away when you start to get serious about them? Could be a pattern to address.

I havent dated in a long time because of my anorexia. But this the first. 

[Britney25]

21 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

It sounds like the classic "we want different things". You are looking for more serious and intimate communication, while he doesn't feel that expectation in this relationship. 

Well then I need to have a chat with him about his expectations ? Or something along those lines.

[Tinyjaguar]

6 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Well then I need to have a chat with him about his expectations ? Or something along those lines.

And your expectations. Your needs in this relationship are as important as his.

I am sorry to hear about your anorexia and I hope you are recovering well.

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said:

And your expectations. Your needs in this relationship are as important as his.

I am sorry to hear about your anorexia and I hope you are recovering well.

Thank you.  I am in a better place than I was yes.

 

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, Tinyjaguar said:

I'm not defending the guy, but, most of the above is pure speculation. If there are any doubts, you need to have a proper clear the air talk with each other. Then you can make your decision to continue with the relationship or not. 

Yes it is all speculation but he has been acting weird lately. 

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Britney you need to reread this post.

Yes but should I really not bring anything up? Knowing now he didnt even spend the day with me.

[Britney25]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's a weird thing to do. Like leaving some food for the dog while the people enjoy their holiday, so it won't chew up the furniture.

It's disrespectful to me isn't it. How should I start the convo with him when I see him? What wording should I use?