Why is it so difficult to plan a date with this guy?

[sarahears]

Hi everyone, need your advice on this situation please.

Met this guy online, we had a nice first date a week ago. For that first date he asked me where I want to go and I said to him let's meet at a nice coffee shop near a beach where we live, so we did. 

Then he asked me out again for another date another day and again asked me where I want to go. I told him that I chose the place for the first date, so is fair that now he has the chance to choose. He said he will Think about it and come back to me next day. Next day again he asked me where do I want to go... at this point I am starting to wonder if he is insecure or just low effort. This time again I told him I don't know and for him to choose.

So we met at a place and then he suggested lunch at another beach, but asked me several times if I agree and seemed confused.  The date went well and we even kissed at the end.

Then he asked if I would be available this weekend and I said yes. He said several times he was available the whole weekend. But then later on the week started talking about a dinner with friends, and going to his parents, and etc, making me confused because he wasn't making concrete plans with me.

Then he finally suggested for us to meet, go do something (for me to choose what) and then for me to go have a snack at his house. I told him that sounds lovely, but that I would prefer to have a snack somewhere else, like again a nice place near the beach. He didn't suggest anywhere to go.

He said he would call me Saturday morning for us to see what we will be doing and what time. He called me and instead of asking what time and where to go, he started talking about going to have lunch with his parents, but that perhaps he would do that on Sunday instead. I told him he of course can go today if he wishes and we can meet afterwards. Then he started saying I am being complicated! That he already said he will go to his parents on Sunday instead. I told him that no I was actually trying to simplify things.

Then he said he was going to hang up the phone and call me later to see where we will go and what time.

I am very confused with all this to be honest. I am a very simple person, I told him already what I would like to do. Why can't he just call and say "so let's go visit this place and then have that snack at this nice place, what time can you meet"? Why talking about other people and other stuff instead? This is exhausting!

Why can't making plans be easy? I though men usually are very straight forward and direct with this. On out first date I told him exactly what time I can meet and where, simple. Why can't he do the same, is he playing games? I don't get it. It seems the only time he was clear and direct was to have a snack at his house! All the rest seems very confusing to him.

Advice please!

 

Edited June 26, 2021 by sarahears

[Heatemyheart89]

32 minutes ago, sarahears said:

Hi everyone, need your advice on this situation please.

Met this guy online, we had a nice first date a week ago. For that first date he asked me where I want to go and I said to him let's meet at a nice coffee shop near a beach where we live, so we did. 

Then he asked me out again for another date another day and again asked me where I want to go. I told him that I chose the place for the first date, so is fair that now he has the chance to choose. He said he will Think about it and come back to me next day. Next day again he asked me where do I want to go... at this point I am starting to wonder if he is insecure or just low effort. This time again I told him I don't know and for him to choose.

So we met at a place and then he suggested lunch at another beach, but asked me several times if I agree and seemed confused.  The date went well and we even kissed at the end.

Then he asked if I would be available this weekend and I said yes. He said several times he was available the whole weekend. But then later on the week started talking about a dinner with friends, and going to his parents, and etc, making me confused because he wasn't making concrete plans with me.

Then he finally suggested for us to meet, go do something (for me to choose what) and then for me to go have a snack at his house. I told him that sounds lovely, but that I would prefer to have a snack somewhere else, like again a nice place near the beach. He didn't suggest anywhere to go.

He said he would call me Saturday morning for us to see what we will be doing and what time. He called me and instead of asking what time and where to go, he started talking about going to have lunch with his parents, but that perhaps he would do that on Sunday instead. I told him he of course can go today if he wishes and we can meet afterwards. Then he started saying I am being complicated! That he already said he will go to his parents on Sunday instead. I told him that no I was actually trying to simplify things.

Then he said he was going to hang up the phone and call me later to see where we will go and what time.

I am very confused with all this to be honest. I am a very simple person, I told him already what I would like to do. Why can't he just call and say "so let's go visit this place and then have that snack at this nice place, what time can you meet"? Why talking about other people and other stuff instead? This is exhausting!

Why can't making plans be easy? I though men usually are very straight forward and direct with this. On out first date I told him exactly what time I can meet and where, simple. Why can't he do the same, is he playing games? I don't get it. Advice please!

 

He sounds like hard work . If it is this exhausting , I would back away. Is it really worth it ?

[Alpacalia]

Consider it an opportunity to arrange something enjoyable to do, if nothing else.

It's only one date, after all.

You won't have to meet him again if he turns out to be a slouch.