Yungstagurl Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 So I've been talking/dating this guy for over 8 months now. Things started off great at first he was almost perfect very consistent persistent communication was great spending time with me etc. He was like everything most women want and ask for. At first I could tell that he was really all for me and crazy about me. Everyone could see it. I could tell he was ready to settle down and had high expectations for us. He was definitely more into me than I was him even though I did really like him i was just being cautious. Thing was I wasn't ready for everything that he was ready for and I move at a slower pace compared to him. He came on fast and strong Around April we decided to take a break. He had expressed his concerns of what he needed and we had kind of ran into a few issues. One of our main issues is that he feels I don't open up and that I don't match his energy or reciprocate how he feels and that i push him away. So we took a break and became more like friends. We still talked on the phone or texted a lot but didn't see each other like we use to. I was backing off and giving him space and then about a month ago he tells me he wants to try us again and see if anything has changed. So we spent a week together and it's been different. It's almost like the romantic connection has died and we're just friends. He's not really trying like before and I guess he expects me to try more or do more since at first he was the one putting in most of the effort and energy. He also probably doesn't want to be pushed away again. It also makes me wonder if during our break he met someone else that he has romantic feelings for them now but it's clear we still really care about each other. Now I'm wondering if it's possible to have that romantic connection rekindled or restored. And if so how?
introverted1 Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 2 minutes ago, Yungstagurl said: I guess he expects me to try more or do more since at first he was the one putting in most of the effort and energy. I'd say the ball is in your court this time. He needs to reciprocate your efforts, but he is (rightly) expecting you to show that things will be different this time.
Wiseman2 Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 17 minutes ago, Yungstagurl said: So I've been talking/dating this guy for over 8 months now. even though I did really like him i was just being cautious. Ok, were you dating? Hanging out? FWB? Exclusive? What do you mean by "cautious"? Were you intimate? It seems you pushed him away. If you want to date, don't hang out as friends. 1
Fletch Lives Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Yungstagurl said: So we spent a week together and it's been different. It's almost like the romantic connection has died and we're just friends. Now I'm wondering if it's possible to have that romantic connection rekindled or restored. And if so how? Yes, once the love dies it rarely if ever returns. Real romantic relationships are not like you see in the movies. You have to find a new man, a clean slate, and start again. 1
Gaeta Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Yungstagurl said: At first I could tell that he was really all for me and crazy about me. Lust at first sight rarely last. It was good while it lasted but the feeling is gone now. I don't know why you spent a week together after getting back in touch. It's forcing it and as you see, feelings can't be forced.
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 He's holding his feelings back to see if you would show more to him. Of course it died off because there was never any real reciprocation. That's why it's fallen flat...you are not that into him. Seriously, after 8 months you guys should be attached at the hip, crawling on each other. This thing is totally dead in the water. 3
SumGuy Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, Yungstagurl said: .... Now I'm wondering if it's possible to have that romantic connection rekindled or restored. And if so how? I'm wondering how much connection you two ever really had. Some infatuation to be sure but that is about it. I find it really odd his behavior, first all enamored and then he is not feeling the connection. So a** backwards that he was so into you before he knew you and how you interacted, he was into something all right and it wasn't you as a person because he didn't and couldn't really know you as a person. Also sounds like he expected you to hit the ground running, settle down, high expectations, before he even knew you two were compatible? That he asked to take a break and then asked to try again to me implies he wanted to see if you had "corrected" yourself (which goes along with having you do all the work), feels like a bit controlling, egotistical, insecurity and/or need for you to validate him. Sure he may look great and be great on paper, but you are seeing now why he is not taken. My advice is to move on from him. if this is how he acts now in the "honeymoon" period, that is this is his best foot forward, yikes! Clearly he never listened to The Supremes or Phil Collins: "You can't hurry love No, you just have to wait She said love don't come easy It's a game of give and take You can't hurry love No, you just have to wait You got to trust, give it time No matter how long it takes" Edited June 25, 2021 by SumGuy
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