Beauty93 Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 My boyfriend and I been together for 3 years we just recently had a baby he has a 5 year old by someone else previously before me. I feel like I need to break up with him for the simple fact that he doesn't want his 2 kids around eachother and he doesn't want to let his other baby mother know he just had another son. He claims that they are no longer together or messing around but he says it is none of her business to know. I think that is really messed up that he is hiding his baby son. If they are no longer together why would it matter. I also feel like he loves his 1st child and shows attention to his 1st child more than our newborn baby who is now 3 months. He gets his 1st son every weekend and never spends time with us on the weekend only the weekday.
Indigo Night Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 How sad that he didn't want his children to even get to know each other Should you break up?; if it were me I don't think I could be with a man that thinks the way this does. Unless the ex is crazy, there is no reason for the kids not to get to know one another. They're close enough in age to turn Solid bond with each other. His forbidding it is just bizarre to me!! 2 1
Daisydooks Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 Id end this immediately. Wtf did I just read??! Id also try to facilitate a relationshipbetween our child and their older sibling, if possible. (Provided it is a healthy relationship for your child.) It seems very odd to me he doesn't want his children together and VERY sketchy he has not only avoided telling his "ex" about your pregnancy, but that your shared child is 3 months old. What a surprise "the ex" is in for. I honestly wonder if she is even an ex? Where does he go on weekends? And why? Is he going and staying at her house? If so, she isnt the ex. 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 6 hours ago, Beauty93 said: never spends time with us on the weekend only the weekday. Sorry this is happening. It seems he's living a double life. You and your child are a secret from his GF and family. Does he live with his GF or you or does he bounce back and forth? Do you have supportive family who can help you? Make sure he pays child support on behalf of the newborn.
Author Beauty93 Posted June 23, 2021 Author Posted June 23, 2021 I am his "GF" of 3 years no me and him do not live together, he is in our newborns life but he does not want to tell the Mother of his 1st child he just had a baby and he never spends time with me or the baby on the weekends because he always has his other son every weekend. 1
Author Beauty93 Posted June 23, 2021 Author Posted June 23, 2021 He lives with his mother so he brings his 1st child over there and I don't know why he don't want both of his son's around each other but everytime I ask this question he says "that isn't the case" and totally blows off the question.
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 What a mess. He's hiding something from you based on the fact that he's hiding your son from everyone else. Go see a lawyer to get CS organized & be done with your BF. Alas you don't get the luxury of NC & he will be in your life forever because you are bound together by your son. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Beauty93 said: me and him do not live together. he always has his other son every weekend. Why don't you live together? Is he only allowed supervised visitation? Edited June 23, 2021 by Wiseman2
Author Beauty93 Posted June 23, 2021 Author Posted June 23, 2021 No that is just what their co-parenting is with her is that he gets his other son every weekend. He keeps saying for us to find a place but it's never gone through and I don't even think I would want to move in with him with all the suspicions and secrecy he has going on. 1
BaileyB Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 Does his other baby mama know that you exist? Is it only the baby that he wants to hide from her? I’m struggling to understand how you are three years into a relationship with this man - surely, there were other red flags before the baby was born? 2
stillafool Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 11 hours ago, Beauty93 said: I am his "GF" of 3 years no me and him do not live together, he is in our newborns life but he does not want to tell the Mother of his 1st child he just had a baby and he never spends time with me or the baby on the weekends because he always has his other son every weekend. He's probably in a relationship with his first baby's mother and obviously doesn't want her to know that he's seeing you too and you guys just had a baby. Basically he's a cheater. Go for your child support before she does. He's probably seeing you won't file for child support. 2
Author Beauty93 Posted June 24, 2021 Author Posted June 24, 2021 Well he put on his Fb in a relationship but I guess that doesn't mean anything. No I don't think she knows I exist and when I asked him before to show me a picture of her or who she is he didn't do that he made up every excuse in the book. There was a couple of red flags prior that I ignored because I'm stupid, but there was no way I was going to abort my 1st child because of his selfish, secretive a$$.
Author Beauty93 Posted June 24, 2021 Author Posted June 24, 2021 I'm really starting to think he does have something going on with her because why does he keep me and the baby a secret from her if things between them are over. It should be about his son with her and it should not matter what either of them do in their personal life if they both went their separate ways. He keeps saying he is a "private person" and she doesn't need to know his "business" He also says it's going to start unnecessary problems and when I asked him how would it start a problem he couldn't answer that question as well. He says him and her don't get along but there is always 2 sides to a story. 3 years later and I don't even know who this other person is besides the mother of his other son. Everytime I bring this up he says to me "why am I so concerned about her" & "why do I want her to know about the baby so badly."
stillafool Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 Hope he doesn't end up having a 3rd child and baby momma that you won't know about. 4
MsJayne Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 Contact his ex and introduce yourself and discuss the fact that you'd like your child to know their sibling. He's up to no good and deserves to be exposed for the sly so-and-so that he appears to be. Aside from that, he lives with his mother, and this is not a good thing - seems he thinks women are there for his convenience and don't come with functioning brain cells. Does his mother know about your son? If yes, does she go along with his secrecy? Perhaps the ex would make it hard for him to see his other child if she knew about you and your son and that's the reason he keeps it secret, but regardless, it's wrong. If it continues, as your son gets older he'll pick up on it and it's beyond wrong to make a kid feel second best. 2
Author Beauty93 Posted June 24, 2021 Author Posted June 24, 2021 I know right if he can hide us he will do the same with someone else.
Author Beauty93 Posted June 24, 2021 Author Posted June 24, 2021 I can't get intouch with her, I don't know her name I don't know what she looks like or anything. His mother seen our son a couple of times but that is about it. I think she is going along with it as well or she really just doesn't care because she is not really in my son life as it is. Yes maybe that is the case that she will make it hard on him, well isn't that when he should put his foot down and take her a$$ to court, I mean no 1 wants to go through that but if she is going to be threatening him of not seeing his son just because he has moved and had a baby then he should be a man and do what he has to do but instead he decides to hide it like a coward as he is. Yes no child should feel second best and I never even thought of that until u said it and it really makes me sad for my son.
MsJayne Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 50 minutes ago, Beauty93 said: I can't get intouch with her, I don't know her name I don't know what she looks like or anything. His mother seen our son a couple of times but that is about it. I think she is going along with it as well or she really just doesn't care because she is not really in my son life as it is. Yes maybe that is the case that she will make it hard on him, well isn't that when he should put his foot down and take her a$$ to court, I mean no 1 wants to go through that but if she is going to be threatening him of not seeing his son just because he has moved and had a baby then he should be a man and do what he has to do but instead he decides to hide it like a coward as he is. Yes no child should feel second best and I never even thought of that until u said it and it really makes me sad for my son. All very odd. You would think that one of his friends, or someone who knows him and his ex, would have said something while you were walking around pregnant.
Author Beauty93 Posted June 24, 2021 Author Posted June 24, 2021 Me and this girl lives in 2 different towns and I did ask around and no one knows who she is. I even tried looking to see if anyone posted pictures of his 1st son on social media, I can't find anything.
stillafool Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 Are you still seeing this guy in a romantic way?
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 26, 2021 Posted June 26, 2021 On 6/23/2021 at 3:55 PM, Beauty93 said: No that is just what their co-parenting is with her is that he gets his other son every weekend. He keeps saying for us to find a place but it's never gone through and I don't even think I would want to move in with him with all the suspicions and secrecy he has going on. My feeling is, he's hiding you. He may be sleeping with her, or with someone else. I am so so sorry to say that. I feel awful for you. 1
Amethyst68 Posted June 26, 2021 Posted June 26, 2021 So his friends and family don't know her? Even though the child must be at least 3 years old now? The grandmother must know surely or have you never met her as well? You say this man is in your child's life but is he contributing financially? I have to say in this situation I'd make sure, since you're not married I'd go for child support. You'd also find out if he's paying for his other child. 2
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Posted June 27, 2021 His 1st child is 5 years old our child together is 3 months old. His mom and dad know about her but I am not close to his more or his dad. He is contributing financially. Yeah that is what I am going to do, at this point I have no choice because I just don't understand whyyyyyyy he doesn't want to tell him other child's mother he has a 3 month old as well it makes no sense to me whatsoever.
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Posted June 27, 2021 I ask him this question all the time and all he says is why does she need to know his business. He really fights and argues with me about how he doesn't want her how he doesn't want to sleep with her and how he does not want to be with her at all, so if that is the case why doesn't he tell her about his other son that was just born 3 months ago. I really do not get it. If he really isnt messing around with this girl what other reason could there be?
Wiseman2 Posted June 27, 2021 Posted June 27, 2021 On 6/22/2021 at 10:10 PM, Beauty93 said: he doesn't want to let his other baby mother know he just had another son. Do you live with parents as well? Are they helping you out? Why is he living with his parents rather than as a family with you? Did he give you a real reason for having separate lives both from you and the other baby mother? 1
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