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Why is my ex girlfriend so extreme


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Posted

So I split with my ex gf in February last year over text and cut her off. Obviously I really hurt her and deeply regret the way I done it. I tried reconnecting after a few months but she was so hostile I backed off. Eventually we started talking around 8 months later and met up for dinner. Things went well and we had a nice night. A few nights later, out of the blue, she flipped and brought it all back up telling me how much I’d hurt her and that it wasn’t ok. She deleted me off social media and told me to cut all contact. I was surprised as I thought we had got passed things but respected her wishes and moved on. I started dating other people, slept with a few girls and even started seeing someone for a couple of months who I really had a connection with but that never worked out. Now out the blue my ex gf reached out apologising for ruining our relationship when we were together and telling me she thought we’d be together forever and is devastated that never happened. We chatted back and forth and agreed to meet up for a walk to talk things over next weekend. Now she has text me saying as I’ve not text her for 3 days it’s obvious I’m not keen on meeting up and she thinks it’s a bad idea. I know it won’t ever work between us but I still love her so how do I walk away for good? And why is she going from one extreme to the other

Posted

She's all over the place because she's torn between heart and head.  She wants to trust you but her experiences with you are telling her not to.   

When you agreed to meet up next weekend, she interpreted it as you being open to a trying again.  Then when you didn't contact her, she figured that you aren't interested.  Given that you just wrote "I know it won't ever work between us", it sounds like she's right on the money. 

If you want to get back together with someone you really hurt, you need to eat humble pie for a bit, make extra effort and be patient with the trust issues which you gave them.

 

Posted

Is she on/off with someone? 

What was the breakup about?

On/off is nothing but headaches and heartaches.

End it for good. This time delete and block her to prevent this backcreep.

What happened to this one?:

 

Posted

Who knows why she's hot & cold?  Does it really matter?  She's your EX.  You presumably broke up with her for valid reasons.  Although you tried unsuccessfully to reconnect, all you got was this hot & cold unpredictability.  Go back to being apart.  Don't worry about what she's doing or thinking.  Just get her out of your life.  Problem solved.   

  • Like 2
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

She is always going to hold it against you that you hurt her. Don’t attempt to make it work again it will always be an issue for her. 

Posted
On 6/22/2021 at 6:34 PM, Mattinho2021 said:

I know it won’t ever work between us but I still love her so how do I walk away for good? And why is she going from one extreme to the other

This is all you need to know. In your heart of hearts it's not going to work, ever. The hard part is requesting privacy or insisting on privacy and solitude. That's a path to your own healing without the demands of an ex who is no longer part of your life or your future. It's hard at first but you'll get over her. The very difficult part is initiating that change. 

Posted

When you break off this time do not bother her again for walks, talks or anything else.  You're confusing her and yourself.  Just let it go so you both can move on.

Posted (edited)

She probably likes you romantically still so she cannot be your friend. Just leave it alone I think. Find other people to be friends with .  She’ll get over it with time but I don’t think she’s there yet

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Posted

She is your ex.  Why are you dragging this out with walks, talks and meet ups?  What is the point?  You are just dragging out this drama.  It will continue for as long as you allow it to continue.  You and her are not compatlble; if you were, the relationship wouldn't have ended in the first place.  You'd be better off if you stop going around in circles like this with her and just put an end to the communication.  Leave it in the past and move on.

  • Like 1
Posted

What you are doing is pretty cruel.
When you break up with someone who loves you, the very least you can do is leave them alone.
You hurt this girl a lot and so whilst part of her wants to be "grown up" and to be able to be "friends" with you, she can't do it.
It hurts too much, the anger is too intense, the disappointment and sadness too overwhelming...   She can't trust you any more either.

IRL second chances are few and far between, we don't live in a Rom-Com movie set, so when you break up with someone, you have to realise there is no going back.
You have to be doubly certain that breaking up is really what you want..

Posted (edited)
On 6/23/2021 at 2:34 AM, Mattinho2021 said:

but I still love her so how do I walk away for good

Do you really love her you have to ask herself,

you can have this girl back probably if you want, but you have to reassure her and declare your unconditional interest in her,

make her feel special and let go of fantasies with other women.

otherwise walk away.

Edited by Foxhall
Posted

Personally I would be delighted you showing you care, I want my ex to text me he didn’t even read my final contact 

 

no answer is an answer 

Posted

Personally I would be delighted you showing you care, I want my ex to text me he didn’t even read my final contact 

 

no answer is an answer 

 

My break up may only be short but I’ve heard nothing so all I can assume is he used me for 6 months n didn’t feel the same, do I want him back? Unsure do I want him to be texting and calling me HELL YEAH 

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