heavenonearth Posted June 22, 2021 Posted June 22, 2021 has anyone had experience with taking a break in a relationship and how to navigate during and after? i am curious if there are people for whom a break has been beneficial and helpful to build a stronger foundation.
BaileyB Posted June 22, 2021 Posted June 22, 2021 (edited) Why are you taking a break? No, I’ve never taken a break from a relationship except to say, I would like some time to myself tonight. That’s a different kind of break, to recharge or maybe cool down after an argument. I don’t think that’s the kind of break you are discussing. I’m honestly not sure how taking a break from a relationship would help to build a stronger foundation. The foundation of a relationship is built by spending time together, communicating, and learning about each other. If the break is meant to be a solution to problems in a relationship, it seems rather illogical that a couple could resolve problems in a relationship by taking time apart. Edited June 22, 2021 by BaileyB 2
FMW Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 I think the general consensus on LS is that taking a "break" is usually a slow, non-confrontational way of breaking up. I agree with @BaileyB, strengthening a relationship is done together, not apart. 8
smackie9 Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 Never needed to nor has anyone has asked me to. If anyone did, I would just end it anyways. I look at it as them refusing to work out the issues, and a total shut down of communication...both dealbreakers IMO. 4
Happy Lemming Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 1 hour ago, heavenonearth said: has anyone had experience with taking a break in a relationship... Is this the "I'm not there yet" (I Love You) guy?? 6
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 I have never taken a break in a relationship, nor would I. We're either together or apart, working on issues as a couple - or saying goodbye and going our own ways. The only time I have seen a break actually work was when the couple in question was very young and inexperienced, and they split up for a while. It wasn't intended as a break (they flat-out broke up), but they reconciled maybe a year later. Still together now, 20+ years on. The majority of the time, breaks seem to cause more problems than they solve. 2
basil67 Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) If a relationship can't be fixed with the two of you living under the same roof (or continuing to see each other like usual), then it's pretty broken. I mean, imagine if the two of you have kids and one just decides to take off for a break because things get difficult...relationships just don't work this way. Edited June 23, 2021 by basil67 obscure slang 1
Blind-Sided Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 If you are just dating... then as above... "A Break" is not good. If it's a night apart to cool off... OK. But if you are saying that you need time apart... then that means there is enough wrong that the relationship should probably just end. Sorry. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 There is no time off in a relationship. You work together to fix what's wrong. If you can't correct the problem together, splitting apart won't help. It is OK to take a night or 2 off from each other as in not seeing each other so you can re center yourself but you are still in an active, on-going relationship at that point. When you pull apart on these so called "breaks" you are really broken up. These break that people think they can take, are usually ill defined & then somebody gets all hurt when they learn the other person with with someone else during the time apart. Mostly these breaks are about the person who wants them being able to go explore a possible new relationship without technically cheating while leaving the other one home, in limbo, dangling on a string, being the good 'ole fall back position. It sucks. Don't do it 2
BaileyB Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 I think Friends made taking a “break” in a relationship more popular and really did a disservice to the concept. It isn’t like a sitcom where the two main characters are on again/off again until they get together in the end to have their happy ending. Healthy relationships don’t work that way. 1
chillii Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 l've never believed in them not even through marriage, maybe we should've , don't know. But anyway partner and l now are trying to have a break, not about us or problems with us . She's been up home a few mths though with a massive legal battle that's really taking it's toll and so for that we're just trying to give her the head space to cope with it atm. Not crazy about the idea and it's a lot harder to support her but we see if helps her situation mentally.l think some cuddles and tlc would do a much nicer job but we're 1200k apart sooooo.
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 Hi Heaven, I do not know of couples that came back stronger after a break. I actually do not know a couple that did come back after a break. Why don't you share the details with us? 1
BaileyB Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 If this is the “I love you - I’m not there yet guy” - I’m really sorry it hasn’t worked out as you would have hoped.
notbroken Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 A break is just practice for a break up. If someone needs a break, then I am done. Period.
Sun Seeker Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 No. A healthy relationship does not involve breaks. When I have had a break in a relationship, it only delayed the inevitable breaking up for good. If you need to have a break, the person is not for you. 1
lana-banana Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 To echo what everyone has said: healthy relationships don't have involve breaks. It's always just easing someone into a breakup. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2021 Posted June 23, 2021 The only people I know who successfully got back together were people who dated in HS & then reconciled years later after they both grew up. A few weeks / months isn't going to fix anything. 3
usa1ah Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 I have never seen or heard of a break helping a relationship.
Maldives Posted June 24, 2021 Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/23/2021 at 9:07 AM, heavenonearth said: has anyone had experience with taking a break in a relationship and how to navigate during and after? i am curious if there are people for whom a break has been beneficial and helpful to build a stronger foundation. No it's not the best thing to do. It may be for the person who needs the break but not the other party on the receiving end they may be hurt etc
Trail Blazer Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 I've never heard of anyone having a break and coming back stronger. Sure, it probably happens from time to time, but I think those occasions would be pretty rare. I have heard of people separating and then resuming their marriage at a later date. However, I'm not really sure if separating (from a legal marriage) would be considered "taking a break" or actually breaking up.
Woggle Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 If you have to take a break it wasn't a strong relationship at all. There are ways to get some space and alone time without having to pause the entire relationship.
cleverusername Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 Break in a relationship is just delaying the inevitable break up
Wiseman2 Posted June 25, 2021 Posted June 25, 2021 There's only a few reasons people go on 'breaks'. Looking for something better. Can't find anything better. Need drama and dysfunction to "feel alive". Can't get along, but won't admit it. Want backup sex if needed. To teach the other 'a lesson'. To facilitate a power struggle like a staring contest as to who will cave first. Point being....there are no good reasons to go on breaks.
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