Men LEAD, Women RESPOND

[Woggle]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I beleive men are programmed to pursue and we should not pick up their slack. 

A man can pursue a couple of time and change his mind, let him change his mind, it's just not meant to be.

A woman's role is to encourage that pursuing by welcoming it, embracing it.

If that is the case then stop treating men like predators when they do pursue. You can't on one hand say that men should pursue and approach then treat them like creeps for pursuing and approaching, If you put people in a no win situation like many men feel these days don't be shocked when they throw up their hands and say the hell with it.

[Shining One]

I think this is just another case of being selective about a gender role one likes while conveniently forgetting about others. I wonder how well received a thread entitled: "Men make a Mess, Women Clean It Up" would be received.

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, Woggle said:

It's because people think of relationships these days is something you need to win against the other side rather than something you do with another person as a team. It should not be antagonistic. There is a lot of animosity and mistrust.

Again agree Woggle.  I posted this is another thread, but perhaps it's time to stop 'hurting' each other, and begin 'healing' each other.

Meet each other half way, is that too much to ask?

I'm trying....

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[Woggle]

9 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Again agree Woggle.  I posted this is another thread, but perhaps it's time to stop 'hurting' each other, and begin 'healing' each other.

Meet each other half way, is that too much to ask?

I'm trying....

I fully agree but good luck convincing people entrenched in the gender war to give up their positions. 

[basil67]

Reading that piece made me vomit a little in my mouth.  

Line after line of putting people in boxes of stereotypical gender norms with no consideration that different people like different things.  I'm surprised that the author didn't remind men to cut their hair and for women to grow their hair long and wear dresses and heels.  

I really thought we were past telling men to man up and telling women to sit down and be pretty.

For the record, I've broken every dating rule there is, but everything worked out OK for me.

Edited June 21, 2021 by basil67

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Reading that piece made me vomit a little in my mouth.  

It made many of the men on the other site vomit too!  It became a huge discussion (argument).

 

[basil67]

xxx

Edited June 21, 2021 by basil67

[poppyfields]

Why did you delete basil?   All opinions are welcome!

Not too long ago I posted that I was beginning to embrace a more multidimensional concept of masculinity and I am still doing that.

I posted the piece to gather opinions and discussion.  I think there is some merit to it but don't expect everyone to agree.

I just wish dating wasn't so confusing, and that we would stop fighting and hurting each other.

That's all....

Edit: Perhaps after all this, I am back to my original way of thinking.  Men and women should pursue each other, equally.  In different ways, but equal nonetheless.

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[Gaeta]

38 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

That's your belief and other women's belief.  Problem is like I said:

Many men here (men professing to be extremely masculine) strongly believe it's the woman's role to chase, that chasing is feminine behavior.  And masculine to "be seduced" by women.

That right there presents a conflict, a toxic polarization.

 

 

 

But there beleif isn't based on studies, science, biology.

[Gaeta]

39 minutes ago, Woggle said:

If that is the case then stop treating men like predators when they do pursue

I do not do such a thing. If l am not attracted by the gentleman l always tell him l'm flattered by his interest but xyz.

You will have to file your complaint with another woman. 

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

But there beleif isn't based on studies, science, biology.

No it's based on their experience, what "works" for them.  It's how they feel validated.  Some admitted it!

They've become conditioned to it, like many women have become conditioned to being chased/pursued too.

Because so many women will in fact chase and seduce, so they've come to expect it.  

I hate to say, but many (or rather some) men have admitted they feel "entitled" to it.

I am not even blaming them!  Women can be entitled too.

Thus the toxic polarization I mentioned earlier.

 

 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[Uruktopi]

1 hour ago, Alpaca said:

That's how it was in biblical times.

Was it? I´m not soooooooo sure.

[poppyfields]

9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I do not do such a thing. If l am not attracted by the gentleman l always tell him l'm flattered by his interest but xyz.

Not to give you a hard time, but did you say that to the man with the hoodie?  I forget.

[lana-banana]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Now all bets are off for clingy insecure women who will chase you (and thereby take away the masculine pleasure of the hunt and ultimately the conquest.)...

I don’t care if millennials think this is the new norm. It just means very few real men exist in that age group. One generation is not going to suddenly reverse hundreds of thousands of years of developmental & behavioral biology. 

You young bucks want an edge? Lead. Initiate. If she responds and is warm and receptive? Lead again. See if she responds favorably again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

This is just so pathetic, and says a lot more about the author's need to appear/feel a certain way than anything that's actually happening in the world. Maybe he should stick to buying cedar candles and sandalwood soap instead of suggesting everybody else has the problem instead of him.

[basil67]

14 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Why did you delete basil?   All opinions are welcome!

Edit: Perhaps after all this, I am back to my original way of thinking.  Men and women should pursue each other, equally.  In different ways, but equal nonetheless.

I deleted because I was likely to be moderated.

My thoughts as to the edit is that we would do well with ditching "should" altogether.  Instead, accept choice.   Accept that people will do as they please when it comes to dating.   

Most of the tupperware, in all their different shapes and sizes, have a lid.  Yes, there are a couple which don't have lids, but I suspect the problems those tupperware have are more than can be solved with armchair psychology.

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, lana-banana said:

This is just so pathetic, and says a lot more about the author's need to appear/feel a certain way than anything that's actually happening in the world. Maybe he should stick to buying cedar candles and sandalwood soap instead of suggesting everybody else has the problem instead of him.

The author of the piece was a woman lana-banana.

 

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I deleted because I was likely to be moderated.

My thoughts as to the edit is that we would do well with ditching "should" altogether.  Instead, accept choice.   Accept that people will do as they please when it comes to dating.   

Most of the tupperware, in all their different shapes and sizes, have a lid.  Yes, there are a couple which don't have lids, but I suspect the problems those tupperware have are more than can be solved with armchair psychology.

>>Men and women should pursue each other, equally.  In different ways, but equal nonetheless.

I don't like the word "should" either, I just couldn't think of a more suitable word.  

[lana-banana]

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

The author of the piece was a woman lana-banana.

 

That's even sadder! Yikes... what an awful way to live.

[basil67]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

>>Men and women should pursue each other, equally.  In different ways, but equal nonetheless.

I don't like the word "should" either, I just couldn't think of a more suitable word.  

*choose*   Men and women can choose to act in a way which suits their style, looking for a lid which fits their own shape of tupperware.

[Pumpernickel]

What article is this, if I may ask? I’d love to read it, because the general notion & summary that is provided/discussed in the present thread makes me want to gag a little bit. Especially because the author is a female. Reading the whole article might give me a more nuanced perspective. 

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, lana-banana said:

That's even sadder! Yikes... what an awful way to live.

Well, it worked (works) very well for her lana so who is anyone to judge?   

She posted she's had (and currently in) a very successful relationship and very happy.

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

What article is this, if I may ask? I’d love to read it, because the general notion & summary that is provided/discussed in the present thread makes me want to gag a little bit. Especially because the author is a female. Reading the whole article might give me a more nuanced perspective. 

It wasn't an article, it was a post on another forum which shall remain anonymous.  What I posted was the entire post.

You'd have to read the entire thread (which went many many pages) to get a more nuanced perspective but I am not revealing the name of the site, I think it's against the rules to do that anyway.

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[lana-banana]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Well, it worked (works) very well for her lana so who is anyone to judge?   

She posted she's had (and currently in) a very successful relationship and very happy.

I am judging because you asked for our thoughts, and there is a vast, vast difference in saying "this is how I got a happy relationship" and saying "millennials are weak people trying to undo human biology (???) and all men should behave this way and non-feminine women (???) can't attract real (???) men". That strikes me as so narrow-minded and sad. I'll tell you this much: she certainly doesn't sound like a happy person, complaining about "insecure women" and "men with no balls" or whatever. 

 

[basil67]

5 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Well, it worked (works) very well for her lana so who is anyone to judge?   

We get the right to judge because she's telling others how to behave.

I won't judge her for choosing to date in the way which suits her, but I will judge for her telling others how it should be.

[Weezy1973]

31 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

But there beleif isn't based on studies, science, biology.

I haven’t seen any studies / science cited here at all.