Men LEAD, Women RESPOND

[poppyfields]

First off, I did NOT write what I am about to post.  I got this from another site, very much like LS but it caters to men.   It's written by a woman (a few women post over there even though it's a men's site), who after reading many of her posts, and interacting with her, may be one of the most intelligent women I have ever known.

I hope everyone will read with an open mind, and provide thoughtful responses.

--------

Gentlemen. If you desire a lady act like a MAN. Men ACT. The masculine essence & energy is seeking and outward facing.

The feminine essence is receptive, responsive & inward facing. Look at anatomy.

Initiation of an interaction is from masculine energy. It is leadership in the relationship. It is the man’s role. Don’t expect feminine women to behave by initiating.

Now all bets are off for clingy insecure women who will chase you (and thereby take away the masculine pleasure of the hunt and ultimately the conquest.)...

I don’t care if millennials think this is the new norm. It just means very few real men exist in that age group. One generation is not going to suddenly reverse hundreds of thousands of years of developmental & behavioral biology. 

You young bucks want an edge? Lead. Initiate. If she responds and is warm and receptive? Lead again. See if she responds favorably again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Masculine energy craves feminine essence. That’s biology.

Too many men don’t know how to act like a man. This creates a vacuum or leadership void that women step into by becoming more masculine (initiating, pursuing, etc.). Men acting like princesses and then wondering why all the women are overly masculine feminists.

Current social trendiness isn’t helping but rather is muddying the water.

No wonder guys are confused.

Be a man. Initiate. Approach. Lead. Act. 

Give the woman something to respond to.

These men who want women to initiate and chase them are the same dudes who end up in sexless relationships with she-man bossy women who have got their balls in a glass case. Her desire wanes (no surprise) because the whole dynamic runs counter to biology and human behavioral instinct.

Be a man and attract a feminine woman. Everybody is better off.

But it starts with the masculine essence of leadership and being a man.

 

END OF POST.

Thoughts?

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Too many men don’t know how to act like a man.

I know Poppy but men say too many women act like men so around and around we go.

[Gaeta]

Amen to that !!!

I've also come across something for women. Pick a man amoung those who chase you!!

I used the word chase but replace it with what ever else:  lead, court, etc 

 

 

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

I know Poppy but men say too many women act like men so around and around we go.

I know, which begs the question, which came first, the "chicken or the egg"?

>>Too many men don’t know how to act like a man. This creates a vacuum or leadership void that women step into by becoming more masculine (initiating, pursuing, etc.). Men acting like princesses and then wondering why all the women are overly masculine feminists.

[Happy Lemming]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Gentlemen. If you desire a lady act like a MAN. Men ACT.

Thoughts?

This is how I was successful at dating... If I saw a woman I wanted to date, I approached her and made the attempt.

I acted like a MAN!! (not a scared little boy -- hiding behind a phone, keyboard or on-line dating app)

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Amen to that !!!

I've also come across something for women. Pick a man amoung those who chase you!!

I used the word chase but replace it with what ever else:  lead, court, etc 

 

 

Pursue.  I don't like the word "chase," because that implies the woman is running away from him.  And he needs to chase her to catch her.

I do NOT advise doing that.  When a woman is running away, let her run!  He is better off without, she's not interested OR playing games.

But rather, when men lead, or pursue, a feminine woman (who is interested) will be receptive, responsive and that is what a man should look for and desire. 

Not a woman who will pursue him, but rather who is responsive and receptive to his pursuit.

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

Also Poppy there are a lot of women who are chasing guys left and right.  This is what makes men sit back with arms folded waiting to be chased and not settling.  There are more women than men in th US.  If women don't pull back on the chasing and let men take the lead it isn't going to get any better.  Women have allowed men to be lazy.

Edited June 21, 2021 by stillafool

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Also Poppy there are a lot of women who are chasing guys left and right.  This is what makes men sit back with arms folded waiting to be chased and not settling.  There are more women than men in th US.  If women don't pull back on the chasing and let men take the lead it isn't going to get any better.  Women have allowed men to be lazy.

Yup I agree with you!  But again which came first, the chicken or the egg?   Like when did all this start?   

It's been a gradual process. The birth of feminism combined with the fact many young men are being raised without fathers or strong male role models.  Divorce, single mothers, they're being raised by women, and thus developed a more feminine frame (apologies if that sounds reverse sexist).

Not sure what the answer is OR if we will ever resolve, but I thought the piece I posted was interesting and thoughtful!

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

it's a combination of the birth of feminism and the fact that many young men are being raised without fathers or strong male role models

I definitely think it has a lot to do with so many young men being  raised without a father in the home.  I can tell the difference in the young men who were.

[SumGuy]

Whatever.   That is certainly true for some.  Certainly good advice if those who believe this are what you are after. 
 

When I hear “real” men and “real” women get my popcorn and wait for the projectionist to start the movie.   
 

Just hope such “reality” doesn’t lead to the “natural order.”   A lot of oppression has been justified in the name of “natural order”

[d0nnivain]

I don't think I have ever "followed" in a dating situation but I have always preferred confident men.  I can't deal with the so called "beta" males who are afraid to have an opinion.  Nobody wants to date a door mat.  

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I definitely think it has a lot to do with so many young men being  raised without a father in the home.  I can tell the difference in the young men who were.

It comes from all sorts of social evolution, women's liberation, women being more educated and accessing work & money & power. 

In my culture women are now more numerous in the work place, we have more women in many fields, many leading women. Unfortunately our men took the hit, men in my culture do not pursue women AT ALL. He will practically never approach a woman unless she gives him first a green light. 

My lady neighbor who's single made a joke that her and I should head to the US because over there men are men lol. 

[poppyfields]

3 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Whatever.   That is certainly true for some.  Certainly good advice if those who believe this are what you are after. 
 

When I hear “real” men and “real” women get my popcorn and wait for the projectionist to start the movie.   
 

Just hope such “reality” doesn’t lead to the “natural order.”   A lot of oppression has been justified in the name of “natural order”

Well given how confusing dating has become, both men and women being confused about their roles, what to do, and dating experiences often going nowhere because of this confusion, why not call it like it is?

MEN and WOMEN.  Masculine/feminine.  A natural polarity.

As the author of the piece I posted said - "hundreds of thousands of years of developmental & behavioral biology."

 

[poppyfields]

By the way, the woman who wrote the piece is an extremely successful business woman, she rakes in mid six figures a year.

BUT she hasn't lost the art of being feminine and pulling masculine men towards her.  Her relationships have been quite successful because of this.

I really admire her, she's also very beautiful and over 50!

[stillafool]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

My lady neighbor who's single made a joke that her and I should head to the US because over there men are men lol. 

Lol, LOL, bending over and LOL!!!!!!, 

[babybrowns]

Hi Poppyfields

I am a traditional ‘non-flirter’- I get shy, and am very good at hiding my own crush on someone, even when there are signals of interest! This has resulted in guys who I know like me, not making a move. 

But then as soon as they have something to go on, they are all in. Pursuing, keen, their interest level sometimes even builds higher than mine. When I was the one that got things going! 

I do feel that guys who are not the alpha male (or extreme end of that spectrum- the womanising/player type), who haven’t yet mastered ‘the game’, tend to err on the side of caution as to not lose ego. They tend to be more emotional and sensitive, their feelings tend to run a little deeper, and thus they are less likely to just take rejection on the chin before moving onto the next one. They get hurt by it, and so their comfort zone is to wait for green lights first.

My two cents

Edited June 21, 2021 by babybrowns

[poppyfields]

12 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

My lady neighbor who's single made a joke that her and I should head to the US because over there men are men lol. 

I wouldn't advise it, you're in for a big jolt if you do.  I'm in the U.S. and it's more confusing than ever here due to these gender diversities.

Many men here (men professing to be extremely masculine) strongly believe it's the woman's role to chase, that chasing is feminine behavior.  

And masculine to "be seduced" by women.

Which actually prompted the author to write the piece I posted.

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, babybrowns said:

Hi Poppyfields

I am a traditional ‘non-flirter’- I get shy, and am very good at hiding my own crush on someone, even when there are signals of interest! This has resulted in guys who I know like me, not making a move. 

But then as soon as they have something to go on, they are all in. Pursuing, keen, their interest level sometimes even builds higher than mine. When I was the one that got things going! 

 

Bolded, that's actually correct.  You've got to give men a "window," an opportunity to pursue you. 

Now I invite you to read my other thread "Something Just Happened."

You can't just sit there with resting bytch face, doing nothing and expect men to approach and pursue.

Again, a window.  A green light, whatever you want to call it.

Edited June 21, 2021 by poppyfields

[Alpacalia]

Quote

Men LEAD, Women RESPOND

That's how it was in biblical times.

[Wiseman2]

59 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Too many men don’t know how to act like a man.

Maybe men  need to wear toolbelts on dates? ⚒🛠

[Woggle]

Both genders need to just be themselves and stop placing each other in boxes. It really does feel like society is actually devolving with all these genders wars amongst other things. Honestly things seemed more progressive back in the 90s when people who were my age back then at least seemed to want to evolve. It was more a do your own thing and maybe meet somebody thing instead of treating the other gender as some pile of chemicals to manipulate. 

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, Woggle said:

Both genders need to just be themselves and stop placing each other in boxes. It really does feel like society is actually devolving with all these genders wars amongst other things. Honestly things seemed more progressive back in the 90s when people who were my age back then at least seemed to want to evolve. It was more a do your own thing and maybe meet somebody thing instead of treating the other gender as some pile of chemicals to manipulate. 

I agree with you Woggle.  I don't think anyone intends to put anyone in a box but ya gotta admit, things have become confusing.

Take babybrowns thread for example.  Two people who seem to like each other, but both not knowing what to do what, what their "role" should be.

BB, took the initiative and it's anyone guess if the guy will respond and ask her out again, but had she done nothing, guarantee NOTHING would have happened.

As if that's not bad enough, the roles can switch.  The man (or woman) will start off pursuing but then get tired of that role, and stop, and then expect the woman (or man) to start pursuing.  

Without ever even saying anything!  Just expecting them to "know."

Everything is so ass backwards, no wonder dating has become so difficult!

 

 

[Gaeta]

I beleive men are programmed to pursue and we should not pick up their slack. 

A man can pursue a couple of time and change his mind, let him change his mind, it's just not meant to be.

A woman's role is to encourage that pursuing by welcoming it, embracing it.

[Woggle]

5 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I agree with you Woggle.  I don't think anyone intends to put anyone in a box but ya gotta admit, things have become confusing.

Take babybrowns thread for example.  Two people who seem to like each other, but both not knowing what to do what, what their "role" should be.

BB, took the initiative and it's anyone guess if the guy will respond and ask her out again, but had she done nothing, guarantee NOTHING would have happened.

As if that's not bad enough, the roles can switch.  The man (or woman) will start off pursuing but then get tired of that role, and stop, and then expect the woman (or man) to start pursuing.  

Without ever even saying anything!  Just expecting them to "know."

Everything is so ass backwards, no wonder dating has become so difficult!

 

 

It's because people think of relationships these days is something you need to win against the other side rather than something you do with another person as a team. It should not be antagonistic. There is a lot of animosity and mistrust.

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

I beleive men are programmed to pursue and we should not pick up their slack. 

A man can pursue a couple of time and change his mind, let him change his mind, it's just not meant to be.

A woman's role is to encourage that pursuing by welcoming it, embracing it.

That's your belief and other women's belief.  Problem is like I said:

Many men here (men professing to be extremely masculine) strongly believe it's the woman's role to chase, that chasing is feminine behavior.  And masculine to "be seduced" by women.

That right there presents a conflict, a toxic polarization.