Is it normal that my bf cares about my look more than I do?

[SumGuy]

3 hours ago, smackie9 said:

I know you are stuck. But don't get fooled....he's saying everything you would want to hear to lure you out of hiding. That's how abusers continue to have control. Don't meet him, don't hear him out...why? because it's just a ploy. You will fall into his emotional trap. Be strong, keep your phone off, don't go to your parents. Find a friend/coworker or a cousin that he doesn't know, and stay with them out of sight. maybe take some vacation time. Be strong, don't let him hoover you back.

This.

If for some reason OP you meet him make it a public place, bring a friend if you can at all.  If you can't make sure someone you can rely on knows where you are and when you will be back and keep the meeting short make sure you have to leave.  If you don't bring a friend hopefully  they can call you during the meet to make sure all is OK.   

I suspect I am coming off as alarmist, but in my expereince the dangerous stuff happens when you tell them "no," especially when you leave and tell them "no."  If he has control issues around your hair OP, imagine what those issues are around you leaving him. 

It is likely the "end of the world" for him and desperate unstable people can do very desperate things.

[d0nnivain]

30 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

I wouldn't necessarily agree with this.   Sometimes just leaving is the safest thing.  

* * * 

No person in an abusive relationship is ever given the advice to leave in front of the abuser, ever.   Abusive people do not take well to that and will try to stop you with words, then threats, and perhaps (often) more. 

People are getting way ahead of themselves here.  The BF criticizing the OPs hairstyle & stubbornly refusing to move to a neutral location do not automatically equate to a violent abuser who hurts her. 

She never said one word about violence.  

All I see is two immature people. She won't speak up & runs away.  He just wants everything his way & doesn't really care about her.  That makes him a bad BF, not a monster.  

[Tinkido]

Thank you everyone! We met and we talked. He never wanted to talk before but now we talked a lot. He apologised and said he realised his behaviour. He agreed to let me have my alone time. I am gonna give myself time to spend on my own. I believe this is the best for me now. Thanks again to all of you. Stay safe