Found out more about him. and now questioning us

[hippychick3]

My partner (now husband) had 2 serious relationships and many, many short-term flings and sexual experiences before we met. I’ve never asked how many and don’t really care. We both actually believe it’s a positive thing that he’s had so many experiences before meeting me as he no longer feels the need to see what/who else is out there. I’d rather be with someone who has had as much experience as possible with other women before meeting than with someone who has had very little experience and may feel the need to explore more. 

[cleverusername]

2 minutes ago, hippychick3 said:

My partner (now husband) had 2 serious relationships and many, many short-term flings and sexual experiences before we met. I’ve never asked how many and don’t really care. We both actually believe it’s a positive thing that he’s had so many experiences before meeting me as he no longer feels the need to see what/who else is out there. I’d rather be with someone who has had as much experience as possible with other women before meeting than with someone who has had very little experience and may feel the need to explore more. 

Awwww

You're not his first but he wants you to be his last.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, divegrl said:

Then very recently he asked how many people I have just dated/slept with. I told him.... but he did not answer back. This week, I asked again how many people he had dated/had sex with... and that’s when he answered

Sorry this happened. This is why teen slumber party truth-or-dare games do not belong in adult relationships.

Now you are ruminating about something that can't be changed, can't be unheard and shouldn't have been asked about in the firsts place. 

If anyone asks you this in the future, simply reply, "It's in the past".

[BeanCounter]

I'll disagree with everyone and say I don't think it's a horrible thing to ask if both people are just genuinely curious and can handle any answer. I've been in relationships where we both shared, and where we both never asked.

I think as you get older though you just stop caring so much? I honestly have no idea what my "number" is at this point, and it's not like some ridiculously high number or something. I just stopped keeping track after the first few. I have a range that I know.

In any sense, I don't think the number of past partners should really make you uneasy or question your relationship. If everything else is great, it really doesn't matter. Someone else said it best, if he's pretty experienced with women, and he chose you, that should make you feel really good about yourself. He's not desperate, he has options, and he chose you

[Fletch Lives]

People probably should talk less about their past.

 

That said, promiscuous people can grow up, change, and be respectable, long term monogamous people.