Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 (edited) I met this guy online. At first l wasn’t sure if l fancied him, but more l got to know him more l grown to like him. It’s been a month or so now, we sleep together after a few weeks, l stayed over at his quite a few times, he cuddled me and l felt so so good with him. he has a son and his life is busy, but l accepted that, there is no problem for me, l liked his boy too. One weekend we planned a night out and he had to do something urgent, that l knew it was not an excuse, so he cancelled it. I haven’t seen him for a few days after which was strange as we were seeing etch other daily and then when l came round he was odd, cold and didn’t even express any affection like kissing or cuddling. When l left l asked him if there was anything wrong if he still likes me he said yes he does like me. But he been quiet over texts, replies but not intimidates any conversation. I then tried to confront him over text and he rang me to say he had some issues, he will be more attentive etc.. The next day he texted me to say that he’s not ready for a relationship and that he doesn’t want to drag me along. I am confused, l do like him and l felt he did too, what do l do, try to talk to him or let it be.. I am Capricorn which makes me quite stubborn and he’s Virgo , so we should be a perfect match lol, l just don’t know what happened and need some outsiders opinion on this. Everytime we talk he is still sending me kiss at the end, l mean why if u done u done right.. Edited June 16, 2021 by Girlcapri Typo
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 14 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: The next day he texted me to say that he’s not ready for a relationship and that he doesn’t want to drag me along. I am confused, l do like him and l felt he did too, what do l do, try to talk to him or let it be.. If you are OK with FWB, meaning he shows up when it's convenient with minimal contact in between, continue what you are doing but if you want a relationship, cut your losses. 1
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 I am trying to understand why is done that l mean if he likes me then what the heck..
ShyViolet Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 I don't know why you are confused. He said he's not ready for a relationship. The minute someone says that, it means they aren't interested in you. It's done. There's nothing to be confused about, listen to what he has said. There would be no point in trying to talk to him again, unless you want to get rejected again. 7
introverted1 Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 It's only been a month. This is why we date: to assess compatibility. This guy seems to have gotten ahead of himself, already introducing you to his son. Apparently, he's now realised that he isn't interested in a r/s with you and has broken things off. There is nothing to do except to accept it and move on. 1
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Girlcapri said: I haven’t seen him for a few days after which was strange as we were seeing etch other daily and then when l came round he was odd, cold and didn’t even express any affection like kissing or cuddling. Too much, too fast, and he got an indigestion. Good solid relationships are built slowly step by step. You need to experience anticipation, you need time to fantasize about each other, time to dream of the possibilities, you need to miss each others presence between dates. You too went for the instant gratification. It felt good so you got your dosage of each other every day....and he went from liking it to I had too much. It sucks but there is a valuable dating lesson to learn here. 2
stillafool Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Girlcapri said: The next day he texted me to say that he’s not ready for a relationship and that he doesn’t want to drag me along. I am confused, l do like him and l felt he did too, what do l do, try to talk to him or let it be.. More than likely he is also involved with someone else and after seeing them he's probably torn. That is why he told you he's not ready for a relationship so you don't get your hopes up. Also Sun signs are just a tiny part of compatibility when it comes to astrology. If you believe in this stuff ones Moon (feelings), Mercury (communication), Venus (how they like to be loved), and Mars (drive, sex) have to be compatible as well.
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 Thanks all, it’s great getting an opinion from the side. I would like to see this in a positive way, is there anything l can do to make him miss me maybe.
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 1 minute ago, Girlcapri said: Thanks all, it’s great getting an opinion from the side. I would like to see this in a positive way, is there anything l can do to make him miss me maybe. All you can do is give him space, do not contact him, go on with your life, and maybe down the road he'll get back in touch with you BUT meanwhile you cannot stop your life for a man that needs to figure himself out. 2
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 He promised to help me with something for my car, so l guess l follow up with him in a few days time. I don’t want to give him pressure and maybe he does need to miss me.
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: He promised to help me with something for my car, so l guess l follow up with him in a few days time. I don’t want to give him pressure and maybe he does need to miss me. NO, do not get back to him for any reason. You don't need him concerning your car. This man was not in your life 1 month ago and you were doing fine. Find someone else to help you concerning your car. Any man around you will be happy to help you with that. Once you are broken up, everything that was promised during the relationship does not count anymore. Edited June 16, 2021 by Gaeta 2
ShyViolet Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 28 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: I would like to see this in a positive way, is there anything l can do to make him miss me maybe. Well the only way to possibly get him to miss you is to remove yourself from his life, stop contacting him. If he decides that he misses you, you will hear from him. You might just never hear from him though, and if that's the case then you need to accept that. Do not chase him. Don't have him help you with your car.... why would you want a man who is not interested in dating you help you with your car? This kinda goes against the whole "letting him miss you" thing, doesn't it? 1
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 5 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: Well the only way to possibly get him to miss you is to remove yourself from his life, stop contacting him. If he decides that he misses you, you will hear from him. You might just never hear from him though, and if that's the case then you need to accept that. Do not chase him. Don't have him help you with your car.... why would you want a man who is not interested in dating you help you with your car? This kinda goes against the whole "letting him miss you" thing, doesn't it? True, and l just said to him l don’t need his help. And l got an answer saying he wants to help.., so is that because he feels bad or what
introverted1 Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: True, and l just said to him l don’t need his help. And l got an answer saying he wants to help.., so is that because he feels bad or what Yes, likely a way of easing his guilt. He knows he has checked out of the relationship and/or is just looking for a FWB. Either way, he knows what you want and what he wants are not the same. Helping with the car lets him offload some of his guilt. 1
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 19 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: True, and l just said to him l don’t need his help. And l got an answer saying he wants to help.., so is that because he feels bad or what Yes that is exactly that. He knows he made you sad, he feels bad about disappointing you so he wants to make himself feel better. It's charity. You don't want his charity, right. 1
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 9 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Yes that is exactly that. He knows he made you sad, he feels bad about disappointing you so he wants to make himself feel better. It's charity. You don't want his charity, right. So what do l say to him
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 2 hours ago, Girlcapri said: It’s been a month or so now, we sleep together after a few weeks, l stayed over at his quite a few times. he has a son and his life is busy, l liked his boy too. The next day he texted me to say that he’s not ready for a relationship. Sorry this happened. Unfortunately it's way too much way too soon. That's ok, it's just 30 days dating, so cut your losses and slow down next time.
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 29 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: So what do l say to him You just say it won't be necessary for him to help you that you got everything under control.
ShyViolet Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Girlcapri said: True, and l just said to him l don’t need his help. And l got an answer saying he wants to help.., so is that because he feels bad or what He is sending you mixed messages and playing games with you. Don't accept that. Either he wants to properly date you, or not. And he already made his decision that he doesn't. So don't accept his crumbs. Keep your dignity intact and tell him you don't need his help now. 1
glows Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 This person told you that he's not interested enough to date you and has issues with himself and you're talking about car trouble. Dial it way back, fix your own car, be independent and don't wait around for him. You're grappling at straws here. Mute his contact and let his messages sink to the bottom. Date other men. 2
Author Girlcapri Posted June 16, 2021 Author Posted June 16, 2021 Now l just need to restrain myself from texting him…
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 13 minutes ago, Girlcapri said: Now l just need to restrain myself from texting him… Deleting his number will solve that. 1
dramafreezone Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 (edited) There's no telling what it could be, so you're left to speculate. I think when there's a shift in interest like that, there's a good possibility that it's another woman coming into the picture, maybe an ex? In any event, there's nothing to try. He told you his deal, he's not playing games. Just have to accept it and move on. Edited June 16, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
dramafreezone Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 4 hours ago, ShyViolet said: I don't know why you are confused. He said he's not ready for a relationship. The minute someone says that, it means they aren't interested in you. I don't agree with that. Feelings are far more dynamic and nuanced than that. You can like one person and like another person a little more. 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: He is sending you mixed messages and playing games with you. Why do you think it's games? Is it possible that he actually cares about her and feels badly about hurting her feelings? 1
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