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Is it silly for people that are 21 years old to be in serious relationships? Surely they don't think its gonna to last forever?

Katkats7777

By Katkats7777
in General Relationship Discussion

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Katkats7777 Established Member

Katkats7777

Posted
Posted

I see this on social media, a bunch of 21 year olds in relationships, now back when I was 21 I knew people who were a power couple only to break up like 10 years later. C'mon a 21 year old guy settling down like an old married man? This isn't 1950 anymore. 

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

Because they love someone and want to be with them.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I find your judgement of them  far more concerning.  Why does it bother you so much?  

 

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Katkats7777 Established Member

Katkats7777

Posted
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Posted (edited)

uhh...divorce, cheating..haha. what's love got to do with it.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

They're just having a relationship.  And will probably have a number of relationships before they get married.  And cheating can happen in any age group.

Why are you being mean about young people having relationships?

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

This isn't 1950 anymore. 

Depends on the couple, their belief structure, needs, etc. There are people who save it for marriage still too. You might think they're fools, but they probably feel otherwise.

I agree that a marriage at 21 isn't likely to last. Sometimes it does, though. Some people become content with one main partner sooner than others (and yes, I'm aware that some never do as well).

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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BTW, while @basil67 and I might not agree on everything, she is a very solid regular contributor around here and no one IMO has any business complaining about her posting in their threads.

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neowulf Established Member

neowulf

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Well, isn't that just how relationships go?  I mean, if they want a committed relationship and feel it's serious, then.. well, it's serious to them.

It's easy to become cynical as you grow in age and experience.  That doesn't give us license to rob the young of their hopes and dreams.

Hell, I'd wish them luck.  Hope it does work out, even it's unlikely it will.

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SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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Has nothing to do with what year it is simply character, the people.

To assume it can’t last simply because of the year or them being 21, is projection.

Plenty of 1950s marriages didn’t last.  

My parents married so “young” (actually old for the day) in the 1960s and it lasted forever, till death do us part.  

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dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I see this on social media, a bunch of 21 year olds in relationships, now back when I was 21 I knew people who were a power couple only to break up like 10 years later. C'mon a 21 year old guy settling down like an old married man? This isn't 1950 anymore. 

There are people that get married at 18 and stay married until they die.

There are "mature" people that marry much older, with every advantage and it doesn't last 6 months.

The main danger with marrying young is that people change so much between 18-30.  I was a completely different person by the time I was 30, and again by the time I was 41.  So by the time a couple has been together for 10 years, they may not be anything like what they were at the beginning of the marriage, through no fault of their own.  People grow.

I think marrying young should make a comeback.  Marriage age has gotten older while the divorce rate has gotten higher.  So what makes anyone think the way things are now is for the better?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
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It works for some people & plus being serious in the moment on social media is working for the people who post.  They feel committed.  They have the right to conduct their lives as they see fit.  Being "committed" is not the same as married. I see no harm in what they are doing.  Serial monogamy is a thing

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Fletch Lives Established Member

Fletch Lives

Posted
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It depends on how long they can stay in love. Love has everything to do with it. Tina Turner was wrong!

But in this disposable society, it's becoming rare to stay married forever.

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lana-banana Established Member

lana-banana

Posted
Posted

Nobody is born knowing how to be a good partner. Serious relationships take time, effort, and practice. If you want to be committed to someone someday, it helps to have experience being in a committed relationship. Will a lot of these younger relationships fizzle out? Sure, but the people will also go on to have better, stronger relationships with their next partners as well. And I know three people who married their high school sweethearts and are doing just fine. If it's right, it's right.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I have a friend who met her husband in the 8th grade.  I was there when they first laid eyes on each other.  Married right after high school and still together.  I envy people like that.

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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14 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

So by the time a couple has been together for 10 years, they may not be anything like what they were at the beginning of the marriage, through no fault of their own.  People grow.

A very good point. All people slowly (and occasionally rapidly) change over time. While some people won't have changed too much after 10 years, many if not most will have changed quite a bit and some quite radically. So your spouse/SO is definitely a moving target as are you.

MsJayne Established Member

MsJayne

Posted
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It's nice to know there's still some young people with solid values and the maturity to ignore today's shallow dating culture. Why are you upset by it? Do you prefer that young people behave like those vapid bogans on TV shows like 'Love Island', etc? I admit I've never watched it but get the general gist that it's a bunch of young people chopping and changing partners like stray dogs in a public park, much like what dating in real life is like now for young people. You refer to the 1950's - a wonderful era when people were less self-absorbed and anti-social.  If you never lived in a time when there was no social media, you have no idea how pleasant and socially cohesive life was up until the early 90's, or what it was like when everyone held similar values and the world wasn't caked in fakery and sleaze. No one had to worry that their partner was connecting with a thousand other potential lovers via an electronic device.  Your post comes across as jealous that other people are enjoying meaningful relationships from an early age.  

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understand50 Established Member

understand50

Posted
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Well, OK,

Wife and I got married at 18.  Been together for around 50 years.  So, sometimes early does work. Sometimes not.  We tend to think that our own situation is the "norm" .  Far from it.  Every couple is different, and unique. So, there can be a different outcomes for each.  Some do not want to settle down, fine, but do not regret the one that got away.  Some will get married early, and have it not work out.  Again, see what you got out of it, the good stuff, and do not dwell on the bad.  Some, and I am in this group, will stay together and grow together.  There is no one right way.  No steps that you can take and have it always work out.  You just have to try.  I think that is the key, say yes and try. Be open for the possibilities, and accept the good things offered.  There is never a perfect time or situation to get married, or have kids.   Kids, show up, and it is a good thing.  There are over 7 billion people on this earth.   Enough variation for all things to work out for some.

 

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Els Established Member

Els

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Posted (edited)

Huh, what exactly do you expect them to do? Not post in social media, or not be in relationships at all?

I'm in my mid 30s, still with and married to the guy I met at 21. Obviously nobody can say for certain that a relationship is lifelong until the day that they, well, die, but you know what, I'll take my chances. Because it sure beats being a bitter person complaining about everything that other people do.

Edited by Elswyth
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Donnas Established Member

Donnas

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Posted

To young to lock yourself down like that. Because you will change the coming years ,your desire wishes dreams interest changes with time at that age.

And you didn't finish school,stable job, built anything yet to have a wife and kids.

Beside this is the age where you enjoy life also. There is a time for everything and this is a time to enjoy your youth and get your degrees.

understand50 Established Member

understand50

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Donnas said:

To young to lock yourself down like that. Because you will change the coming years ,your desire wishes dreams interest changes with time at that age.

And you didn't finish school,stable job, built anything yet to have a wife and kids.

Beside this is the age where you enjoy life also. There is a time for everything and this is a time to enjoy your youth and get your degrees.

Ok,

Look, I know too may late 30 year olds that had their  "fun" and now ready to settle down and cannot find someone to do it with.  I know there are good arguments on both sides of the coin, but ether will work if you want them too and work on the relationship.  We tend to try and go after "Rules" in life that if we follow, then everything will work out.  Well, after a long life and marriage, the only rule is that it will take work to make thing go, and that there will be bumps in the road.  This is just life.  Life is a struggle, and it is how you struggle that counts.  I would not give up my wife for anything, nor do I regret marring her at 18.  If you read in my  past posts, you will know we have had our challenges.  But,  the ones coming up are going to be the hardest we will face.  Harder then anything else in life.  One of us will die first and leave the other.  One of us is going to decline and need the other, or both of us will.  Nothing that came in the past will equal what is coming.  I am glad I have my life's lover,  partner and the mother of my children to go though this with me, and I her.  At the end of all things, hopefully you can look back and see love and no regrets. 

As for growing, keep in mind that when you get married early, you get to finish growing up together.  Marriage does not stop that, no matter what the age. Be it 18, 25, 35 or older.  You always change. You always grow, does not mean it is always positive.  I do not think age is the issue, but personality.  You ether can live with another, or you cannot. Or you realize that you have to work at it and do so.  Hopefully both of you see this together and are in line.  It is just best to have a consistent in your life, and yes, you have to work on your relationship everyday of your life.  If I have learned anything over 50 years of marriage and life, it is that.

I wish you all luck, and I hope you give life opportunities a real try, and not stand back hoping for the next better thing.

 

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