Daniells Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 (edited) I’m dating (?!) my ex-date from 2019 very recently and he always ask me to meet once in every 2 weeks. Even if i call in-between, he will reject it telling he has work. We never talk about that we are dating each other, past things, future things etc. we talk about the current news, issues , tech, sex movies only. In 2019, he ended it by saying we should stop seeing each other and very recently he reappeared. And till now i haven't asked him why wanted to stop in 2019. Sadly, I have feelings for him. So we have this physical relationship recently and for past 3 weeks he hasn't contacted me at all. So i deleted applications where we usually text, after a week he messaged to my phone (normal text) asking why i am not in the application and that he wants to meet me on the day. I wanted to say "No" but i couldn't , so i went to meet him that day and we had nice dinner wine. I am thinking that he knew I was angry that he didn't contact me for 3 weeks and I moved on. He then showed me this Xbox game "It takes two" trailer where couple who is about to get divorce, will go on adventure game trapped in a comic body and has to overcome all the stages together with saying "We are better together". I feel like this was a sign that he wants to be with me but taking slowly? this couple on the game has a daughter and while playing he mentioned "that's our daughter" . This is a second sign and i didn't react much. After stopped playing, he said he had appendix operation and we was resting for 3 weeks. He mentioned that he didn't want to disturb me with the news and that's why he didn't say it. After that, he mentioned he didn't even say to the parents which will get them concerned. Do you think he is getting emotional with me? But he is not meeting me quite often, he is not talking about anyone from his circle (not even his friends), i have never asked him if he is dating other girls, loving someone, etc. and so does he. What should i do ? Please help me on this . Edited June 14, 2021 by Daniells added few words
Wiseman2 Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 Sorry this is happening. I think you know it's just occasional hookups. If you want to move on and have a real relationship/BF, you need to delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. You'll also need to get involved in your own real life activities such as friends, family, school, work, classes, sports, groups clubs,etc In addition get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to local single available men. Why allow this treatment if you want to be happy?
ShyViolet Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 This man does not have the same feelings towards you that you have for him. If he had the same feelings for you, he wouldn't have dumped you once already (back in 2019), he wouldn't be going long stretches of time without contacting you, and he wouldn't be keeping his distance from you. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise. 5
SumGuy Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 20 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This man does not have the same feelings towards you that you have for him. If he had the same feelings for you, he wouldn't have dumped you once already (back in 2019), he wouldn't be going long stretches of time without contacting you, and he wouldn't be keeping his distance from you. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise. This. Move on from this guy. To have such disregard for communication and what may your needs and desires to meet, then come on with "this is our daughter" super creepy of him and all the signs of a controlling person, that is, he has to control when you see each other and the whole (marriage + child) out of the blue is a control, ownership, it is not romance. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 I think this guy is an introvert with communications issues. You can't build a relationship with him unless he's willing to change. He has to talk more between dates & on dates. He has to open up. Your 1st step must be to tell him that while you like him, his silence & the disappearing acts are not working for you. Make a plan to talk more. See if he sticks to it. Then & only then can you allow your feelings to deepen. I do not think he is presently being more emotional with you but I think deep down he would like to be. He just doesn't know how. Whether you want to teach him & take the time to pry info out of him is up to you. It will be a lot of work & you might not succeed.
Fletch Lives Posted June 14, 2021 Posted June 14, 2021 43 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This man does not have the same feelings towards you that you have for him. If he had the same feelings for you, he wouldn't have dumped you once already (back in 2019), he wouldn't be going long stretches of time without contacting you, and he wouldn't be keeping his distance from you. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise. Yup. Find a man who is into you as much or more than you and your problems will disappear.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2021 Posted June 15, 2021 19 hours ago, Daniells said: Do you think he is getting emotional with me? No, I think he is keeping you around for his entertainment when it suits him. He is keeping his distance from you for a reason. He doesn't want you to get more involved in his life. Personally, I would not continue to meet up with him. 2
introverted1 Posted June 15, 2021 Posted June 15, 2021 This guy is clearly not into you beyond the occasional hookup. When in doubt, look to his actions: not discussing romantic/emotional topics, out of contact for days or weeks on end, breaking up and then returning 2 years later with no explanation, strange story about his appendix (have never heard of a three week recovery for this simple operation), relationship focused on sex only. Proceed at your own peril. 1
BeanCounter Posted June 15, 2021 Posted June 15, 2021 It doesn't sound like you have really talked much about how you feel to him either, and have sort of just went along with how he has played things out the last few years. I don't usually like ultimatums, but I really feel like in this instance it might be for the best. The honest conversation of "you are either going to be my serious, exclusive boyfriend, or I am moving on with my life without you" might get you the information you're looking for. At least you'll know.
Author Daniells Posted June 20, 2021 Author Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) [] he says he works on weekends too if i ever call him or he is busy with other stuffs. So It is a red flag that he is having someone else on the weekends. Edited June 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged post from someone else’s thread
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2021 Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Daniells said: [] he says he works on weekends too if i ever call him or he is busy with other stuffs. So It is a red flag that he is having someone else on the weekends. Every situation is different. If the guy is working, he is working. That is not a red flag. If you suspect he's lying about working, that is a different story. Bottom line: if your needs are not getting met in your relationship, it's time to re-evaluate. Edited June 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged post from someone else’s thread 1
Author Daniells Posted June 20, 2021 Author Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) He only calls me on Friday night (2 weeks once) and he never shares what he is doing on saturdays,sundays .. I truly hope he doesn't sleep with others :(( Edited June 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged post from someone else’s thread
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2021 Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Daniells said: He only calls me on Friday night (2 weeks once) and he never shares what he is doing on saturdays,sundays .. I truly hope he doesn't sleep with others :(( [] Anyway, if he doesn't share what he's doing on Saturdays & Sundays, that is a problem. Again, if he's working he gets to do his job But hiding & being secretive is problematic. Edited June 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged post from someone else’s thread
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