Gaeta Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 I can't beleive it's MY turn to have a thread about no communication between dates! RE: Quiet Man He contacted me on dating app a Saturday morning and right away offerd to meet that same day. We're 15 mins drive apart so we met after dinner that Saturday. Our meeting lasted 1 hour we got caught in a thunder storm and had to leave fast. After the meeting he text me that he'd like to see me again and would like to know if I felt the same. I said yes I'd like that. Sunday: nothing Monday: nothing Tuesday: I decided to text him in the morning. He replied right away that he was just about to message me. I said to him I was free after dinner and if he'd like to grab an ice cream. He said it's a fantastic idea! At the end of second meeting, he walks me to my car, ask me if I'd like to go on a 3rd date, I said I'd like that very much, he give me a kiss on the lips. While I drove home he text me 'you are so pretty'. When I got home I replied to his text and we exchanged 3-4 back and forth messages. Wednesday: nothing Thursday: nothing Friday: nothing Thoughts?
Happy Lemming Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 For me... if I want to go out on a date (with a woman) on Friday night, I call and set up the date on Wednesday. For a Saturday night date, I call on Thursday and set up the date. And none of this texting stuff, as you are both older mature adults, he should make a proper call with a plan and a time. I'm OK with a mid-week quick "ice cream" date, those are fun and tasty, but the weekend is when you make proper date plans. An activity and a dinner. That is how an adult male dates an adult female. If he calls on Saturday morning for a date for later that evening, you were plan B and his plan A fell through. 3
Author Gaeta Posted June 11, 2021 Author Posted June 11, 2021 I don't expect a Saturday date it's his b'day tomorrow but maybe an afternoon date for Sunday. When we first talked l did say something about taking the time to get to know someone and not rushing into a relationship. He's not rushing alright but l'm not getting to know him either.
Happy Lemming Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: I don't expect a Saturday date it's his b'day tomorrow but maybe an afternoon date for Sunday. When we first talked l did say something about taking the time to get to know someone and not rushing into a relationship. He's not rushing alright but l'm not getting to know him either. OK... I understand having some previously arranged birthday plans (Saturday Night), but that doesn't mean he couldn't set up a Friday night date. I'm not a big fan of Sunday dates, but if I had something else previously set up for Saturday, maybe a Sunday date. For me, I would have made the effort to set up a Friday night date if I had previous Saturday night plans with friends or family for my birthday. Going out at some point on the weekend is not "rushing into a relationship" that is normal dating etiquette (in my opinion). I wouldn't text him anymore, he is the male... he is supposed to call and DATE you. He should want to see you and want to set up the date with plans and a time. 1
Vitaminka Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 He is not that interested perhaps??? That is a problem with the internet dating. Lots to choose from. Makes one believe that grass is always greener on the other side. I would say, wait till Sunday. Block him if you don't her anything from him by then. I would not message him first. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 11, 2021 Author Posted June 11, 2021 (edited) So you're saying the no texting is not alarming but the no-date set up for the weekend is. Edited June 11, 2021 by Gaeta 1
Happy Lemming Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: So you're saying the no texting is mot alarming but the no-date set up for the weekend is. As an older mature adult (I'm 55)... no I didn't do that much "during the week" communication. I wanted to save that up for the date, so I would have something to talk about during dinner. Moreover, I didn't want to appear desperate or needy by texting or calling during the week. You are correct... no date during the weekend is concerning. I mean he really should have tried to set up a date with you for Friday night, calling earlier in the week with some ideas and suggestions. I understand having plans with friends or family for Saturday night, so I'm giving him a pass for Saturday night, but there is no reason he couldn't have set up a nice Friday evening activity and a simple dinner out (with you). That is what I would have done if I was in that situation. Just my two cents. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 11, 2021 Author Posted June 11, 2021 Your 2 cents make a lot of sense He told me on week days he goes to bed at 9h30 pm because he gets up at 4h30 a.m. for work so l will give him a pass for no date Friday night. I'll see how it unfolds in the next few days.
basil67 Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 @Gaeta if he was into you, he'd text you during the week. The lack of a weekend date underscores his lack of interest. Next. 3
Author Gaeta Posted June 11, 2021 Author Posted June 11, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: @Gaeta if he was into you, he'd text you during the week. The lack of a weekend date underscores his lack of interest. Next. But why at the end of 1st and 2nd date he asked to see me again?
basil67 Posted June 11, 2021 Posted June 11, 2021 Correction: Low interest. You're not rising to the top of the pile of other women he's dating. 3
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: He told me on week days he goes to bed at 9h30 pm because he gets up at 4h30 a.m. for work so l will give him a pass for no date Friday night. When I worked, I got up at 5:30am (still do), but I still managed to plan a Friday night date. I got up at 4:45 today and "V" and I are going to get a pizza and watch an old Jim Carrey movie tonight. I threw those plans together after getting back in town late last night. 1
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: This suckss! Yes it does... I'm still thinking you are his "Plan B" or like @basil67 suggested... low interest (which is no way to treat someone you are newly dating) 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 12, 2021 Author Posted June 12, 2021 Just now, Happy Lemming said: When I worked, I got up at 5:30am (still do), but I still managed to plan a Friday night date. I got up at 4:45 today and "V" and I are going to get a pizza and watch an old Jim Carrey movie tonight. I threw those plans together after getting back in town late last night. Ya, l have to stop excusing him. 1
cleverusername Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 (edited) Who cares, don't wait for him. Don't hold his hand. See other people. His loss. Ya snooze ya looze dude...... You're a prize not a happy meal toy Edited June 12, 2021 by cleverusername 6
basil67 Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 Yes, it does suck. If you want a guy who has high interest in you, choose a man who demonstrates high interest. I'm watching my daughter date - she wants a guy who has high interest and so she filters by his behaviour. If she goes on a great date and then doesn't hear from him for days, she'll Next him. 5
Author Gaeta Posted June 12, 2021 Author Posted June 12, 2021 Yes, l'm talking to someone new. It's not hard for me to get dates but l don't want to break my 200 first dates record lol
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: l don't want to break my 200 first dates record Its not you... its the whole "on-line" dating thing. I think you'd do better meeting people in "real life"... Again... just my two cents.
Author Gaeta Posted June 12, 2021 Author Posted June 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: Its not you... its the whole "on-line" dating thing. I think you'd do better meeting people in "real life"... Again... just my two cents. Yes l'd like that but we're still wearing masks here. Home Depot will be for August. 1
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 10 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Yes l'd like that but we're still wearing masks here. Home Depot will be for August. I understand... Yes, the pandemic is still of concern in a lot of areas. I don't know about Home Depot, but maybe a nice local used book store??
norealusername Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 I would have at least contacted you during the week to talk about the 3rd date. I would assume he's not super interested. Or maybe he's a wuss who likes the woman to initiate and make plans. He did go out with you the same day when you set it up. I wouldn't cross him off yet but definitely keep looking. 3
poppyfields Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 (edited) 52 minutes ago, Gaeta said: But why at the end of 1st and 2nd date he asked to see me again? I am a bit surprised that you're asking this question G, that question has been asked and answered a zillion times on this forum!! He changed his mind, his pet died, he got sick, he met someone he likes better, the list is endless, it could be anything. My advice? Take it all with a grain of salt. There is no need to block him as another poster suggested, that's an emotional reaction and there is no reason for it after one meet. Keep it open and continue your search, meet other guys, increase your options. At this point, you are multi-dating, there is no need imo for this much analysis and focus on one man you had one meet with. I mean, he said he'd like to see you again, so maybe he will call you next week or the week after? If me and I had a good time with him, I'd go! I mean why the hell not? You only had the one meet after all. I think it's unrealistic to expect a man to make you a priority after just one meet, don't you? Also, if I may ask, what about this "suckss"? Did you feel a genuine connection with him during your one and only meet? Like he was "the one" or something? Or rather, are you bothered that HE isn't chasing you, giving you validation? Apologies if that sounded insensitive, but I think women get those two things mixed up sometimes, I used to! I mean even after I ended my RL with my last boyfriend, remember I was a bit bothered that he had apparently met someone else so quickly? Why was I bothered? Not because I still loved him, cared and wanted him back, it was my EGO that was bothered, I had it in my head that he should be pining away for me for the rest of his life! LOL That lasted about 2 minutes, until I realized it was my ego that was bothered, and I didn't give it a second thought. Just some things to consider. Anyway, I say chill and put it out of your mind, continue chatting and meeting other men. If he reaches out down the road, see how you feel then. Have fun! Edited June 12, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 12, 2021 Posted June 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: So you're saying the no texting is not alarming but the no-date set up for the weekend is. He’s likely not a conversational tester. It’s more of a Q/A thing.
Author Gaeta Posted June 12, 2021 Author Posted June 12, 2021 @poppyfields It's 2 Meetings and at the end of last meeting he asked if l'd go out with him again.
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