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Posted

Hi, I badly needed an advice. We are married for 6 years and 8 years now with 2 kids. I noticed that my husband started working out again.. I know it's not bad, however I can't stop overthinking knowing that their workmates are teasing him to other girl. Another thing is that, there's an event that I really got mad to him and be extra paranoid. My husband and his co-workers just meet recently to eat lunch, prior to this event he just give me a notice that they will going to eat lunch and I was like.. "okay" and then "can I come? I just want to buy something." and then he was like, "okay". Deep inside I want him to just consciously invite me to their lunch and to see if he'll proudly introduce me to them. The day came and I give him lots of hints that I want to come, since I know that his other coworker will bring his wife too, so I will not be the only wifey there if ever. However, instead of inviting me I notice that he keep pushing me away it seems that he doesn't want his co-workers to see me with him. I am hurt and can't help but to overthink. Anyway, the girl that they were teasing with him came and join them on their lunch (I saw their pictures). And now he's working out as if he wants his muscles out as soon as possible. 

Posted

Hi rc4, was the invitation to lunch extended to all partners of staff - or was it staff only?    And how do you know of his workmates teasing him and another girl?   

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Posted

I just accidentally saw their group chat messages. And that lunch was for staff only. 

Posted

OK, so you can take not being invited to the lunch out of the equation. It would have been inappropriate of him to ask you.

How did you come to be looking at their group chat?

  • Like 1
Posted
4 hours ago, rc4 said:

". Deep inside I want him to just consciously invite me to their lunch and to see if he'll proudly introduce me to them.  

Is it usual and customary in this workplace/ your culture to invite dates/spouses to office lunches?

The more important things are if you feel neglected in general and if you have reason to suspect he's having an office romance 

Are you afraid he's having affairs or worried about whether he's proud of you?

Posted
10 hours ago, rc4 said:

since I know that his other coworker will bring his wife too,

Is there another lunch or event coming up? Instead of hinting, since you know another wife will be there, tell your husband you are coming along. Make it an excuse to buy a new outfit and enjoy yourself. 

Do not sit stewing at home. Make arrangements for the kids and make yourself known to his coworkers, male and female. 

 

  • Like 2
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
On 6/9/2021 at 1:53 PM, rc4 said:

I notice that he keep pushing me away it seems that he doesn't want his co-workers to see me with him.... ... the girl that they were teasing with him came and join them on their lunch (I saw their pictures).

It may make no difference to the girl if your husband is married or not. She may not be after him for the provider/protector that you are, she maybe only after office/career advancements. There are many reasons women use and manipulate men.

On 6/9/2021 at 1:53 PM, rc4 said:

I can't stop overthinking knowing that their workmates are teasing him to other girl. Another thing is that, there's an event that I really got mad to him and be extra paranoid.

insecurities, why? 

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