Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 Ok you guys are funny lol My answer was l solve conflicts by not participate to them lol. I probably got 0 on that test. 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 10 hours ago, Gaeta said: I did not get his usual 3 minute call tonight. I'm back from my 2nd date with Mr. Quiet. This man is as normal as you can get. Conversation flows ok, we had a few laughs. He asked if I'd go on a 3rd date with him and I said yes. On my way home he sent me a text saying you're so pretty. I think I'm in better hands with this one. I'm not used to quiet men, I have always been with extroverts. Maybe that's the change I need. Whyishe mr quiet? maybeits nerves still going on or topic discussed. Maybe he’s being on his best behavior
Taramere Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) 26 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Ok you guys are funny lol My answer was l solve conflicts by not participate to them lol. I probably got 0 on that test. I'd feel compelled to find a picture of a perfect snowdrop, covered in dew, with a superimposed message along the lines of "never be afraid to walk away from toxic people and situations." Or "trust yourself while all around doubt you. You're stronger than you look, even if you're a bit wet." I'd send it to him with the explanation "I usually deal with conflict by posting something like this as a Facebook update. However, occasionally I'll take a more direct and assertive approach...and may well enlist the aid of @elaine567 in such matters." Edited June 9, 2021 by Taramere 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 30 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Why is he mr quiet? maybeits nerves still going on or topic discussed. Maybe he’s being on his best behavior He doesn't talk a lot. First meeting I lead the conversation but he was better yesterday. He speaks very low, I have to read his lips when I listen to him. He has 0 game, 0 flirt capability lol. He works for a top engineering firm, he leads projects so somewhere in him there is a leader. He may be a different kind of leader because at first I did not want to exchange with him online I felt he was too young for me (48) and in a couple of sentences my hesitations went out the window.
Fletch Lives Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 He's inexperienced. This happens from not dating for 20 years and watching too much TV and movies. He's probably harmless, but - the things he says must be a turnoff. Find somebody more sophisticated Gaeta. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: Why I like him is of course I find him attractive but we have so much in common it's almost funny. We are 2 libras and have the same way of handling life, we read the same books, follow the same documentaries, we have registered to the same swimming class (different cities), we have the same political views, and it goes on. And forgot, on top of that.....we work the same job! (we work with numbers) so we're both analytical thinkers. Maybe we are too much alike!
Ami1uwant Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: He doesn't talk a lot. First meeting I lead the conversation but he was better yesterday. He speaks very low, I have to read his lips when I listen to him. He has 0 game, 0 flirt capability lol. He works for a top engineering firm, he leads projects so somewhere in him there is a leader. He may be a different kind of leader because at first I did not want to exchange with him online I felt he was too young for me (48) and in a couple of sentences my hesitations went out the window. he is on the spectrum likely mild aspie. his lack of talking and soft talking is part of it when he gets more comfortable with you he’ll probably open up. I have a genetic form of mild aspie/social interaction issue. it really comes out for me when it comes to relationship initiation and cold call sales type of stuff. If something naturally initiated a conversation I’m fine. It’s hard for me to approach and cold start a conversation. meeting online makes it easier for me in controlled set up systems like rharmony vs cold call talking like in match. I’m fine once we get to things like first-phone call or first date. i get easily burned out if I have to initiate the conversation all the time like it’s Q-A vs back and forth easy flow conversation. on my mo side of the family many have some form of this gene. Some it’s stronger than others snd it’s more easily seen in men. I have a cousin who is intelligent and has multiple degrees in engineering and medicine. He now works as an inpatient hospital dr. he met his now wife and got married 10 yrs ago. Evrn my aunt said about him is after meeting her he really lit up in personality that for whatever reason she drew out of him thst other women hadn’t been able to. They met via an online dating site.
Trail Blazer Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 I'm uneasy with the words he used, but it's hard to know for certain without having been there when it was said. Only you can make sense of your own thoughts and feelings on the matter. If it doesn't feel right it's usually because it isn't. 3
smackie9 Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 meh, just throw caution into the wind and see what's around the corner. 1
Allupinnit Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 Wow @Gaeta when you said you were getting back out there you were NOT joking hahaha 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 Sooooo, I did not contact him today. I don't get anything out of 'morning' and no real exchange. Turns out a lunch my teen cut herself with a broken glass and it was a nasty cut so we spent the afternoon at the emergency. She got 8 stitches! Dating-prospects were not on my mind. On our way back home he called. He says hello how are you, then he says your silence worried me (I am reading this as insecurity). I told him about our afternoon and he said he will call me tonight. 1
Amanda92 Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 Looks like the next red flag. He was testing what you will do if he stop contact you.
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 13 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: Looks like the next red flag. He was testing what you will do if he stop contact you. I will do nothing lol. What he said usually would come from someone keeping track of communication and worrying you're losing interest if you skip a good morning.
Donnas Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 I have to compliment you for meeting him in the park.And not at a isolated place . You found him on dating app? Many creeps oit there.Dont give no pass. He sounds like a crazy guy that will stalk you if u breakup later on. And he tryna ffw this for some reason. Dont give him any more info yours.And let him know you not interested no more and block delete!!!! 1
divegrl Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Sooooo, I did not contact him today. I don't get anything out of 'morning' and no real exchange. Turns out a lunch my teen cut herself with a broken glass and it was a nasty cut so we spent the afternoon at the emergency. She got 8 stitches! Dating-prospects were not on my mind. On our way back home he called. He says hello how are you, then he says your silence worried me (I am reading this as insecurity). I told him about our afternoon and he said he will call me tonight. I hope your daughter is ok! That must have been really scary. Glad to hear she is doing ok... and hope she has a relaxing night. 1
chillii Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 9 hours ago, Gaeta said: Ok you guys are funny lol My answer was l solve conflicts by not participate to them lol. I probably got 0 on that test. Shoulda told him you stabem in the eye with a fork. 1
norealusername Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: On our way back home he called. He says hello how are you, then he says your silence worried me (I am reading this as insecurity). I told him about our afternoon and he said he will call me tonight. I don't think this means anything, don't over analyze stuff. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 1 minute ago, norealusername said: I don't think this means anything, don't over analyze stuff. Ya, you're right too. We may be both overanalyzing.
seapebbles Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 I would proceed with caution. The statements "you passed his general knowledge test", " I won't let you down ANY area", " you're mine now", "your silence worried me" (after not responding to one non- substantial text), and giving you his office number so you can contact him any time, those alone wouldn't be something to be concerned about, but together and after only one date is at least a yellow flag. On top of that, him calling just to say he was thinking about you and no conversation sounds like he may have been checking up on you? He sounds insecure and could turn into a very possessive, jealous, and controlling person. I agree, don't give him any personal information until you get to know him better. 5
introverted1 Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 2 hours ago, seapebbles said: I would proceed with caution. The statements "you passed his general knowledge test", " I won't let you down ANY area", " you're mine now", "your silence worried me" (after not responding to one non- substantial text), and giving you his office number so you can contact him any time, those alone wouldn't be something to be concerned about, but together and after only one date is at least a yellow flag. On top of that, him calling just to say he was thinking about you and no conversation sounds like he may have been checking up on you? He sounds insecure and could turn into a very possessive, jealous, and controlling person. I agree, don't give him any personal information until you get to know him better. Wait... aren't these two different guys? @Gaeta
ShyViolet Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 6 hours ago, Gaeta said: . On our way back home he called. He says hello how are you, then he says your silence worried me (I am reading this as insecurity). The more things he's said that you share with us, the more red flags are going up. You've gone on one date with this guy and he's already acting like you need to stay in touch with him, and it "worries" him if you don't? He sounds like he's already starting to become controlling and stalker-ey. I don't know why you are still talking to this guy, with all the creepy and weird things he has said. 3
Author Gaeta Posted June 10, 2021 Author Posted June 10, 2021 7 hours ago, introverted1 said: Wait... aren't these two different guys? @Gaeta Everything is about the same guy. I did mention Quiet guy l met 2 times but no flags of any kind from him.
introverted1 Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Everything is about the same guy. I did mention Quiet guy l met 2 times but no flags of any kind from him. Ohhhh... I thought you had given up on Guy 1 and were focusing on Quiet guy. Must be reading too quickly. Guy 1 seems more OTT each time you mention him.
Author Gaeta Posted June 10, 2021 Author Posted June 10, 2021 7 hours ago, ShyViolet said: The more things he's said that you share with us, the more red flags are going up. You've gone on one date with this guy and he's already acting like you need to stay in touch with him, and it "worries" him if you don't? He sounds like he's already starting to become controlling and stalker-ey. I don't know why you are still talking to this guy, with all the creepy and weird things he has said. But he doesn't really keep in touch and l don"t have a pattern of contacting him regularly. I might be misreading him and this is his humour. I'm still talking to him because l recognize the things he says come across as weird, but the tone is light and teasing.
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