Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) We met in a park Sunday. It was a great meeting, we have a lot in common, conversation was flowing naturally. He said what he liked the most about me was that I was smart, that since we got in touch he had tested me a few times and I 'passed' his general knowledge tests. That's it's imperative for him to be able to exchange the way we did on politics, economy, etc. I think It was ok to test me, to check our compatibility, but he could have kept it to himself but Ok, giving him a pass on that. Then he said he'd like to see me again, I said I'd like that too, he asked how do we proceed from here? I said lets go enjoy a terrace next weekend they're finally reopening. He said great. Did he expect something else? Something like how do we proceed? let's go to your place type of answer? It's me being overly suspicious right? When we said our good byes he gave me a gentle lip kiss, he said he was very excited to have met me, that he will not disappoint me (silence) he will not disappoint me in ANY areas. (rolling my eyes, giving him another pass on that one). As he walks away he turns around and says 'as far as I'm concerned you're already mine'. That's flirting right? He calls me a few minutes later tells me he'll give me his office number, he wants me to be able to reach him at any time, anywhere. THEN, it's the part I can't figure out. He texts in the morning but does not engage in conversation, he calls at night just to say I want you to know I'm thinking about you and looking forward to see you again then says his good night, not engaging in conversations. This morning the same, says good morning but does not engage in conversations. What's your thought? Edited June 8, 2021 by Gaeta
ShyViolet Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 This guy is creeping me out and I haven't even met him. The things he said to you are so weird, socially awkward and just off-putting for someone that you've just met. You didn't feel that in the moment? 12
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) Up to the end I felt it was flirty humor but at the end the good bye conversation was weird but I've heard worse. Now, the calling/texting but not engaging in conversation had me think he's following a script, like those PUA rules. Don't talk between dates so you can't ruin your chances type of thing. Edited June 8, 2021 by Gaeta
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 Looks like a manipulation. Maybe love bombing and narcissism? 1
Pumpernickel Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 34 minutes ago, Gaeta said: as far as I'm concerned you're already mine'. I had someone like that as a boyfriend. Very lovey-dovey / possessive / coming on strong VERY early on (first date). It didn’t end well.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 He's the only man I met so far that has not made a comment on my body, lips or hair. Which I appreciate. It was refreshing to hear a man say that he's attracted to my intelligence. Apart from the kiss good bye he did not try to touch me at all during our meeting. Usually a player will touch your hand, then pull you toward him, brush your hair off your face, etc. Doesn't mean this guy is not playing different game.
ShyViolet Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It was refreshing to hear a man say that he's attracted to my intelligence. He didn't just say he's attracted to your intelligence, he said he "tested" you on your intelligence and you "passed" his test. That is super weird and awkward. "As far as I'm concerned you're already mine" -- this is just creepy and too much for having just met. This guy almost sounds like he has no social skills and is on the spectrum. Edited June 8, 2021 by ShyViolet 10
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 My friend met a narcissistic guy and he didn't touch her for 10 dates because it was a game "I will show you that I don't think only about sex like other guys". Just a manipulation... be careful and try to know more men. Then you will feel what is normal and what is creepy and he is definitely creepy.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 1 minute ago, ShyViolet said: This guy almost sounds like he has no social skills and is on the spectrum. That's interesting, something to keep in mind.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 4 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: My friend met a narcissistic guy and he didn't touch her for 10 dates because it was a game "I will show you that I don't think only about sex like other guys". Just a manipulation... be careful and try to know more men. Then you will feel what is normal and what is creepy and he is definitely creepy. I have a Master Degree in knowing men lol, I was 4 years with a true narcissist, my inner alarm will go off pretty quickly.
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I have a Master Degree in knowing men lol, I was 4 years with a true narcissist, my inner alarm will go off pretty quickly. And "you're already mine" at the first date is flirting for you? If you were 4 years it looks you can't see it too fast. What do you want to do?
introverted1 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 45 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Then he said he'd like to see me again, I said I'd like that too, he asked how do we proceed from here? I said lets go enjoy a terrace next weekend they're finally reopening. He said great. Did he expect something else? Something like how do we proceed? let's go to your place type of answer? It's me being overly suspicious right? I would have said something snarky in response to his question, but you are much nicer than I am. In any case, I agree that it sounds like he could have been fishing for an invitation back to your place. Quote When we said our good byes he gave me a gentle lip kiss, he said he was very excited to have met me, that he will not disappoint me (silence) he will not disappoint me in ANY areas. (rolling my eyes, giving him another pass on that one). Seems a little suggestive for a first date. Quote As he walks away he turns around and says 'as far as I'm concerned you're already mine'. That's flirting right? Hmmm.. do you think he is referring to being his sexually or as something else/more? Either way, it would be too much in my book. I am not digging him. 3
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 11 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This guy almost sounds like he has no social skills and is on the spectrum. Now that I think of it, when we first exchanged online and I asked what he does for living he gave me the name of his company and on what street it was. Who does that right? But someone on the spectrum would.
introverted1 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: Now that I think of it, when we first exchanged online and I asked what he does for living he gave me the name of his company and on what street it was. Who does that right? But someone on the spectrum would. If he's on the spectrum and basically clueless but has read a bunch of PUA stuff that he's trying (badly) to implement, I might give him a pass, assuming he gives up the PUA stuff and becomes a real person. But if he's not on the spectrum, he just sounds slightly douchey. 2
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 2 minutes ago, introverted1 said: mmm.. do you think he is referring to being his sexually or as something else/more? Either way, it would be too much in my book. No, I did not receive it that way. We had just ended a conversation about him looking for a long time partner, someone to enjoy life with and enjoy his old days with.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 1 minute ago, Amanda92 said: Omg. Run girl! You deserve a normal guy! I have other prospects. I have date number 2 tonight with someone I met Friday. But the guy from this thread also has my interest but my cautious alarm went off.
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 Just be careful. He may try to break into your life and head very fast. Don't tell where you live and work. Let us know what will happen next. 2
dramafreezone Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: Omg. Run girl! You deserve a normal guy! This is a fallacy. There are no "normal" guys. @Gaeta if you keep looking for flaws, red flags with guys, you'll find them. You keep bringing them here and asking for analysis, you'll get reasons to move on from them. Edited June 8, 2021 by dramafreezone 6 1 1
Datergirl Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 The 'I won't disappoint you in ANY areas' comment along with the 'you're already mine would have been enough for me to say no thanks...it just feels too insincere 6
lana-banana Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) In my reading, all of this is just various degrees of awkward and cringe except the lines about "not disappointing" and "you're already mine" --- that's too far over the line and would be an immediate turn-off for me. I think he's definitely trying way too hard, which I don't find attractive at all (and especially not in older men). Be careful with this one. Edited June 8, 2021 by lana-banana 4
Alpacalia Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 If you believe something is wrong, chances are you are right. You're observing it for a reason. Whether he is the "bad" sort or not, something about him triggers alarm bells and reminds you of a bad experience in the past. So, even if he turned out to be a good guy, this could be nature's way of telling you that there's some internal conflict going on. 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) On 5/23/2021 at 9:17 PM, Gaeta said: On 5/23/2021 at 9:37 PM, salparadise said: 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: That's interesting, something to keep in mind. I’m on the spectrum. Based on what you described it didn’t come out to me. I think it might be a lack of dating experience if he came out of a long marriage. I think he was trying to flirt. Some of his comments could be taken differently by different people from your personal experience. “ your mine now” could be harmless in a flirty way or stalker IHS if someone has had some past with controlling issues. This is why I wonder if he hasn’t dated much in the past 5-10 years. Edited June 8, 2021 by Ami1uwant 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: He texts in the morning but does not engage in conversation, he calls at night just to say I want you to know I'm thinking about you and looking forward to see you again then says his good night, not engaging in conversations. This morning the same, says good morning but does not engage in conversations. What's your thought? Sounds like a datingbot. As if he 100s of these generic chats go out to everyone on his list.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 9 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: I think it might be a lack of dating experience if he came out of a long marriage. He divorced 8 years ago and was not in a relationship since (he says). He has 3 children that he has full custody of. One is adult age now, the 2 other teens. I'm the first one he meets since he's online (he says)
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