Reputation91 Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 I met this guy on hinge about 2 weeks ago we chatted and things went pretty well we had a great date conversation flowed and we still chatted ok great. Set up second date which involved bowling and he casually mentioned I’m not really ready for a relationship like ok basically I’m friend zoned ( thinking out loud) we still had a good time and parted ways. Still texts me like he whatcha doing want to zoom with me and watch movies ok and the one one day I didn’t he says please watch with me tomorrow!! I said will and again we zoom and watch movies I should say nothing sexual ever happens just watching movies. Every day like clockwork we still watch and once he texts me and says did you see that did you see that and randomly goes on and on about stupid off like you are such a good person and then the other day he totally out off field he says you are soo freaking hot! I said thanks didn’t say anything and I said did you mean that and he said oh the thing on the tv ya sure not exactly what I meant but he was texting me but whatever.. Present day I’m not doing much today but I’m going to the art gallery this week ( radio silence) I mean if he’s a friend or interested whatever he should pick up clues I’m not trying to scare him off but sheesh! Is he leading me on? Help sorry for the long post!
introverted1 Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) He already told you he's not ready for a relationship. So either he wants to be friends or he wants NSA sex (or possibly FWB). If that sounds good to you, carry on. Don't make the mistake of assuming he told you he's not ready for a r/s but he secretly is. It's not happening. p.s. He's not leading you on. He was clear about setting expectations. Edited June 7, 2021 by introverted1 2
stillafool Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 If you haven't actually spent time with him in person it's hard to say what he wants. He seems to just want someone to watch movies with because as you said you gave him an opportunity to see you in person do something since he said you're hot. But then again he mentioned he's not ready for a relationship. The best you can expect is a hook up.
Author Reputation91 Posted June 7, 2021 Author Posted June 7, 2021 Kinda disappointing the last guy I went out with was a hookup guy and I ended up being the FWB girl but I expected this guy to be something else you know? A guy who actually seems genuine and isn’t into that hookup stuff a guy that actually means he says like let’s just be friends ( no benefits) and see where things lead. I hate guys who just want to play the field as they say and mess with your feelings and then toss you away because you are just a fwb because I’ve been there and it was gross and I actually believed this guy shame on me.
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 37 minutes ago, Reputation91 said: Still texts me like he whatcha doing want to zoom with me and watch movies ok and the one one day I didn’t he says please watch with me tomorrow!! . Every day like clockwork we still watch and once he texts me and says did you see that did you see that and randomly goes on and on about stupid off like you are such a good person and then the other day he totally out off field he says you are soo freaking hot! Definitely confusing. The zoom movie thing is something that's not worth time doing. Either you go on dates or not. 4
Author Reputation91 Posted June 7, 2021 Author Posted June 7, 2021 Exactly that’s what I’m saying!! I drop hints but he’s not picking up either that or he’s clueless he claims he’s awkward but I’m not buying it for a guy who isn’t into the relationship thing oy he’s something else. 1
ShyViolet Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 He told you he is not interested in a relationship. So if a relationship is what you really want, you need to stop talking to this guy. You will end up getting led on, and hurt. If you would be ok with just a casual hookup thing, then by all means continue this. 2
norealusername Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 If he wanted NSA sex, he'd be trying to watch movies with you in person, not on the phone. I'm kind of out of touch but how do people watch movies together on zoom?
stillafool Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 2 hours ago, Reputation91 said: Exactly that’s what I’m saying!! I drop hints but he’s not picking up either that or he’s clueless he claims he’s awkward but I’m not buying it for a guy who isn’t into the relationship thing oy he’s something else. He isn't clueless or awkward, he knows what he's doing.
stillafool Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: He told you he is not interested in a relationship. So if a relationship is what you really want, you need to stop talking to this guy. You will end up getting led on, and hurt. If you would be ok with just a casual hookup thing, then by all means continue this. This^^^^^
Ami1uwant Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 3 hours ago, Reputation91 said: Exactly that’s what I’m saying!! I drop hints but he’s not picking up either that or he’s clueless he claims he’s awkward but I’m not buying it for a guy who isn’t into the relationship thing oy he’s something else. ask him if he’s had any relationships in his life. he said you were hot, but then ask him—- why not have a relationship with me? I wonder if he is clueless on relationships.
Author Reputation91 Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said: ask him if he’s had any relationships in his life. he said you were hot, but then ask him—- why not have a relationship with me? I wonder if he is clueless on relationships. I said 9 because I dated through high school and college and he says 6 and he said 9 like it was a bad thing. I should clarify my dating in high school wasn’t long term. Edited June 8, 2021 by Reputation91
Sun Seeker Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) He told you he is not ready for a relationship.. you are looking for a relationship.. why are you doing zoom movies? Seems like the biggest waste of time possible. Stop replying to him, start going on other dates. Edited June 8, 2021 by Punterxx 3
Ami1uwant Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 1 hour ago, Reputation91 said: I said 9 because I dated through high school and college and he says 6 and he said 9 like it was a bad thing. I should clarify my dating in high school wasn’t long term. Real relationships as adults that lasted beyond a few dates/ weeks
smackie9 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 He doesn’t want a relationship. So your next step is to next him and keep looking. Whatever this guy’s deal is it should be none of your concern...he’s just wasting your time. Block/delete. 1
introverted1 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 To be fair, he's not wasting her time if she continues to spend time with him after he has said he's not interested in a relationship. At this point, it's on her. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 12 hours ago, norealusername said: If he wanted NSA sex, he'd be trying to watch movies with you in person, not on the phone. Agree. This zoom-movie together thing seems very lame. Just dump him and move on to someone who wants to date in real-life and in person.
Blind-Sided Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Definitely confusing. The zoom movie thing is something that's not worth time doing. Either you go on dates or not. Yep. He is getting some companionship out of this... but you are wasting your time where you should be look for a date, and a relationship, as that's what your goal is. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 I would not continue communication with someone who told me he doesn't want a relationship. It's a waste of your time. 5
smackie9 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 2 hours ago, introverted1 said: To be fair, he's not wasting her time if she continues to spend time with him after he has said he's not interested in a relationship. At this point, it's on her. I will reword it...he's a waste of time. Time to kick him to the curb. 1
hippychick3 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 You need to focus your energy and time on people who want what you want. This guy does NOT want a relationship with you. Unless you’re perfectly okay with just staying friends (not investing yourself in this friendship/no romantic feelings) while actively dating others, move on. 2
BC1980 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 23 hours ago, Reputation91 said: Kinda disappointing the last guy I went out with was a hookup guy and I ended up being the FWB girl but I expected this guy to be something else you know? A guy who actually seems genuine and isn’t into that hookup stuff a guy that actually means he says like let’s just be friends ( no benefits) and see where things lead. I hate guys who just want to play the field as they say and mess with your feelings and then toss you away because you are just a fwb because I’ve been there and it was gross and I actually believed this guy shame on me. There are a lot of people out there who are just looking for a hookup or something casual. The good thing is that you can usually identify this quickly and move on. In this case, he told you upfront, so you can easily weed him out. 1
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 He is wasting your time while watching movies together. Set your standards. Do you want a relationship? Don't waste time on men that are not ready! 1
Author Reputation91 Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 10 hours ago, Amanda92 said: He is wasting your time while watching movies together. Set your standards. Do you want a relationship? Don't waste time on men that are not ready! He chilled on the zoom dates and just likes talking to me I think now in his perspective he’s not ready to date he’s just basically is trying to figure things out in his own life. He doesn’t want a FWB just needs someone to be there for him. I had guy friends from college because they thought as me as one of the guys and they wouldn’t text me every day or call me either it was a hey whatcha doing this weekend want to meet up at the bar?? So this guy clearly feels something he just has to figure it out until he figures it out. It might take time and who knows maybe there will be a relationship who knows but for now I do know he just likes taking to me.
Sun Seeker Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Reputation91 said: He chilled on the zoom dates and just likes talking to me I think now in his perspective he’s not ready to date he’s just basically is trying to figure things out in his own life. He doesn’t want a FWB just needs someone to be there for him. I had guy friends from college because they thought as me as one of the guys and they wouldn’t text me every day or call me either it was a hey whatcha doing this weekend want to meet up at the bar?? So this guy clearly feels something he just has to figure it out until he figures it out. It might take time and who knows maybe there will be a relationship who knows but for now I do know he just likes taking to me. You must be pretty desperate for friends if you are happy wasting your time with this guy.
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