mark clemson Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 14 hours ago, BaileyB said: Because he doesn’t know the woman. They haven’t even met yet - I suppose that possible. It seems kind of wimpy to me (if that's the reason) - what's he so scared of that he can't give the number. And of course this idea is only one of many possible reasons. So, still dubious IMO. But yes, this is certainly one possibility.
Author babybrowns Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) Hi all So I have learned the hard way that if you give your number to someone on an online dating site and they “miss it and it needs pointing out”, they are just not that into you. I haven’t heard from him today at all and it is clear what his intentions were. 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: What are these giveaways? What signs were there he was just after something casual- - Lots of flirting from his end - After we had a chat about what we’re both looking for from the online site, i.e. something serious {his words describing his intentions}, and I tell him how most guys I’ve met on that site ended up being after FWB, he starts to joke around with me asking me to send him nudes..saying he wants to send me certain pictures of his body parts... then when I expressed concern at this sudden and odd change of tone he simply says do I not get his sarcasm... - Choosing to keep me on the side over the ‘safe’ mode of messaging SMS whereas he is very active on WhatsApp Anyway, another lesson learnt! Edited June 8, 2021 by babybrowns
stillafool Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) How long were you talking with this guy? Edited June 8, 2021 by stillafool
Author babybrowns Posted June 8, 2021 Author Posted June 8, 2021 4 minutes ago, stillafool said: How long were you talking with this guy? A few days, mostly his pursuit rather than mine. He might have got spooked a bit now that he’s seen that I’m really not into casual like I said I wasn’t. Why do guys who are into casual just lie and say they’re after serious when asked It’s too easy to spot that it’s not worth lying about it
Amanda92 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 Just stop texting him if you want something serious. It seems to be wasting of time. 2
Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 I would messing him this: "Texting is not dating, let's meet for coffee". If he bites you have an answer. If not, you have an answer. Have fun with dating and make sure you are not watching dating coach youtubes all day which advise some bat your eyelash drop a hanky approach. It sounds like through wasting time, you are hoping to "inspire" the man into initiating.
stillafool Posted June 8, 2021 Posted June 8, 2021 1 hour ago, babybrowns said: A few days, mostly his pursuit rather than mine. He might have got spooked a bit now that he’s seen that I’m really not into casual like I said I wasn’t. Why do guys who are into casual just lie and say they’re after serious when asked It’s too easy to spot that it’s not worth lying about it To be fair he could be looking for something serious but has to find the right person just like you do. 2
Author babybrowns Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 7 hours ago, stillafool said: To be fair he could be looking for something serious but has to find the right person just like you do. In theory yes but I don’t think talking about nudes and d*** pics within the first 3 days of speaking to a woman gives off this impression 3
stillafool Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 8 hours ago, babybrowns said: In theory yes but I don’t think talking about nudes and d*** pics within the first 3 days of speaking to a woman gives off this impression You are correct and usually when they think it's not going anywhere they shoot for sex. That is why you next them fast when they talk like that and move on. 2
Fletch Lives Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 It sounds like you know what you are doing OP, I agree with you. 1
Vitaminka Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 12 hours ago, babybrowns said: In theory yes but I don’t think talking about nudes and d*** pics within the first 3 days of speaking to a woman gives off this impression Why didn't you block him immediately after this? Heck, why didn't you block him as soon as he started talking about nudes? This is DEFENITELY not the guy who is looking for a long term or anything serious. 3
Author babybrowns Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 The ultimate finale- just seen that he’s unmatched me on the app
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 13 hours ago, babybrowns said: nudes and d*** pics within the first 3 days of speaking to a woman gives off this impression Is this what he's doing?
Author babybrowns Posted June 9, 2021 Author Posted June 9, 2021 56 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is this what he's doing? Yes and the craziest thing here is that it directly followed a discussion about what we’re both looking for If he wanted to play it well he didn’t do that well
stillafool Posted June 9, 2021 Posted June 9, 2021 2 hours ago, babybrowns said: Yes and the craziest thing here is that it directly followed a discussion about what we’re both looking for If he wanted to play it well he didn’t do that well Why didn't you block him at that point?
Vitaminka Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 4 hours ago, babybrowns said: The ultimate finale- just seen that he’s unmatched me on the app Oh well. Not a big loss. At least you didn't date this "winner". Imagine what a disappointment he would turn out to be in a long run! You should've blocked him as soon as he started with the sex talk. On to the next. 1
Sun Seeker Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 No guy 'misses' a woman's number in a message and carries on using the app. He did that on purpose, especially using SMS instead of WhatsApp. He wanted to keep you at arm's length. Along with his sexual requests so early on it was clear what he was after so well done to you for seeing this and making the right decision. He's not worth your time. It's a good thing he has unmatched you. 1 1
Vitaminka Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Punterxx said: No guy 'misses' a woman's number in a message and carries on using the app. He did that on purpose, especially using SMS instead of WhatsApp. He wanted to keep you at arm's length. Who knows what his story is? He could be a married guy who is looking for some sort of a validation by talking with the women on the dating sites. Or a teenage boy who wants some sexting over the net. Or a horny guy looking for a FWB or one night stand. The possibilities are endless. In any case, he never had any intentions to actually meet you in person, nor was he looking for anything long term. Edited June 10, 2021 by Vitaminka 1
Author babybrowns Posted June 10, 2021 Author Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) Thank you all for your responses and encouragement. Yes it’s the thing with online dating; you’d think that in initial discussions about what people are looking for, one would be honest about the intentions. Sure as I have seen from my younger days on OLD, younger people in their early/mid 20s might play the classic player line “I’m looking for something serious ofcourse ” with the intentions of getting someone into bed. But I would have hoped that more mature people in their early 30s would be a little more upfront about their real intentions. When I made it clear to him that I was only looking for something serious, which my profile clearly states as well, at first he pretended he was too. But then he decided to ‘test’ me by bringing up the prospect of sending nudes. When I didn’t react in the way he hoped, he was out. Classic Edited June 10, 2021 by babybrowns
Wiseman2 Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 13 hours ago, babybrowns said: If he wanted to play it well he didn’t do that well Ok then. Well sending pics of his junk is certainly "initiating" Block creeps like this. In fact when you get to 1 or 2 on the creepometer, end it. Why wait until they're a10 on the creepometer scale? 1
stillafool Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 11 hours ago, babybrowns said: When I made it clear to him that I was only looking for something serious, which my profile clearly states as well, at first he pretended he was too. But then he decided to ‘test’ me by bringing up the prospect of sending nudes. When I didn’t react in the way he hoped, he was out. Classic You still didn't answer as to why you put up with this for so long. He ended up unmatching you when you should have done that to him a long time ago. If he hadn't unmatched you first you would probably still be at it with him. 4
Author babybrowns Posted June 10, 2021 Author Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) I’m not sure if it was clear enough on here but we didn’t actually send any nudes. The point is he brought it up and then said he’s only being sarcastic when I expressed concerns about what he actually wanted. That was the last we spoke and then he unmatched me Edited June 10, 2021 by babybrowns
Gaeta Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 11 minutes ago, babybrowns said: and then said he’s only being sarcastic They always say that when they realize it won't work. He unmatched you because he realized he couldn't talk to you into sending nudes. 1
cleverusername Posted June 10, 2021 Posted June 10, 2021 People like to hate on online- communication but If you do it right you get to filter out sacks of crap like this guy without having to get ready or sit through a date 1
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