77. Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 I am having a problem in my relationship. If you have ever met some one and you knew that you got along with them perfectly you will understand this. I met this girl and I could not take my eyes off of her. She is so beautiful in every way. I knew this going into the relationship she had been in another relationship where the a**h*** degraded her, hit her and conned her into having sex. The list goes on. (This angers me greatly) Well anyhow most of her friends are guys and I have the biggest jealousy problem. She talks and is friends with her X-boyfriends. She gives the hugs… talks to them and I was with her when she did it the one time. That was fine I didn’t mind too….. Much but he was blatantly hitting on her. ARRG I wanted to Friggin beat the hell out of the guy; he was doing it right in front of me. I will not tell her my problem. I do not want to be seen as a controlling guy, because I am the complete opposite. I love her, I want her to be happy, but some of her activities kill me inside.
allaboutchoices Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Why wouldn't you tell her about that? I'm not saying to tell her to stop that, but communication is very important. She might give you some good insights on that and ease your mind. She WILL sense that something is wrong with you; unless you tell her it might be the downfall of your relationship.
Author 77. Posted October 18, 2005 Author Posted October 18, 2005 Well, I dont want her to feel like im Controlling. Im not in no way. She also knows somethign is wrong and asks me all the time. but I cant tell her I just cant get myself to do it.
insanelyjelous Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Hi There, I'm sorry to hear about your problem, I'm pretty much going through the same thing myself. My fiance is exactly the same as your girlfriend except he's a guy. He has a lot of female friends and the fact that he's a DJ probably doesn't help. He has this one particular friend who I have always felt is trying to be more than just a friend, it's now got so bad to the point where sometimes I find myself thinking of ways to get her out of the picture (I mean that in the nicest way possible). I've let his friendship with her consume me to the point where I've snooped through his mobile phone on occassions just to see if there's anything that I can catch him out with and yes theres been plenty of things that could be disturbing if taken out of context. Anyway my point is that you do need to communicate with your girlfriend and tell her how you feel, it is important that she knows. I look at it like this by not saying anything your making a big sacrifice, Your happiness for hers, in the end you'll be miserable she won't know why. I think allaboutchoices is completely right, it could be the downfall of your relationship. I'm now trying to work up to telling my fiance how I feel, it's very hard because he's not exactly the communicative type and I'm scared because I don't know how he's going to react. I don't want him to feel like i'm being possessive (I am quite jelous but I do try my hardest to be rational about things) I am going to have tell him that I've been snooping again and that will probably make it that little bit harder. But again if I don't tell him that I'm hurt and unhappy I'm sacrificing my happiness for his and maybe in some situations thats ok but a relationship needs honest communication. I hope that I've helped in some small way and I really hope you two work things out.
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