Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Lola said: Maybe he didn’t tell you the truth because he wants you to be there if it doesn’t work out with the other girl. But don’t let him to have you as a second option. Hmm I don’t know, it seems like he has already committed to the girl/his colleague anyway, since he has been delete both of his dating profiles completely so, it’s too late should I unfollow him? Edited June 7, 2021 by Wenyyyy Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: should I unfollow him? That's probably best, for you. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy over his social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Hmm I don’t know, it seems like he has already committed to the girl/his colleague anyway, since he has been delete both of his dating profiles completely so, it’s too late should I unfollow him? Just ask him. You deserve to know what happened, so you can move on, tell him it’s ok if he is seeing somebody else but you just want to know because you don’t want to lose your time waiting for him, I know it’s so hard, specially because you are asking something that you don’t want to hear. Tell him to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Just now, Lola said: Just ask him. You deserve to know what happened, so you can move on, tell him it’s ok if he is seeing somebody else but you just want to know because you don’t want to lose your time waiting for him, I know it’s so hard, specially because you are asking something that you don’t want to hear. Tell him to be honest. Do you think it’s okay to do that in the chats? I feel it would be awkward to do that in chats, but don’t think I’ll see him again. He replied my text finally after 12 hours, I think he’s just being nice and didnt really meant it? At this point, I feel like I should ignore and move on now, I don’t know… Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 22 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Do you think it’s okay to do that in the chats? I feel it would be awkward to do that in chats, but don’t think I’ll see him again. He replied my text finally after 12 hours, I think he’s just being nice and didnt really meant it? At this point, I feel like I should ignore and move on now, I don’t know… What did he say after 12 hours? 🙄 It would be ideal if you could ask him face to face but you can call him or text him, the worse that could happen is that he says he is seeing somebody else and we already know that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 minute ago, Lola said: What did he say after 12 hours? 🙄 It would be ideal if you could ask him face to face but you can call him or text him, the worse that could happen is that he says he is seeing somebody else and we already know that. Well i asked him yesterday about how was his weekend and he replied ““Hey, it’s been good! Pretty chill, you?”. Was planned to asked him out today for a walk but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. He should’nt reply to me if he doesn’t mean to… but since lots of people are saying he is seeing someone else then I guess I have the answer now? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 Sorry but l don't think he's into it more just being nice , polite. He's had plenty of openings but he hasn't grabbed them or just asked you himself either. l'd unfollow him , he can always ask you what happened if he somehow is by any chance still interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: only texted “ hey, how was your weekend”, but haven’t got any single respond 😕 Excellent. Now you have a definitive answer and can move forward with peace. In the long run it doesn't matter if he's seeing others. What matters is he's not communicating with you. Lots learned here. Don't hint about wanting to be asked out by tiptoeing around with nonsense texts, such as "how was your weekend?" Be crystal clear when communicating. Edited June 7, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Excellent. Now you have a definitive answer and can move forward with peace. In the long run it doesn't matter if he's seeing others. What matters is he's not communicating with you. He has replied actually! “Hey it’s been good! Pretty chill, you?” I don’t know if I should reply.. I was thinking of sending “my weekend was great! I was planning to go for a walk today and asked you if you would like to join, but guess it’s too late now” should I add, maybe next week? OR just leave it and when he wants to ask me out again it’s his choice, I shouldn’t care anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 But yeah anyway he took so long to reply just a simple text😂 definitely he’s not interested anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 4 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: I was thinking of sending “my weekend was great! I was planning to go for a walk today and asked you if you would like to join, but guess it’s too late now” Yikes! No. Let go and move on. Stop texting altogether, he's not interested. What is he going to say? 'I had wild monkey sex all weekend with someone else"? Chasing guys this hard is a bit creepy, no? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 The text above is passive aggressive. Send a cute picture of you from the weekend. No text. Men are visual. If he wants to pursue, he will respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Yikes! No. Let go and move on. Stop texting altogether, he's not interested. What is he going to say? 'I had wild monkey sex all weekend with someone else"? Chasing guys this hard is a bit creepy, no? 1 minute ago, divegrl said: The text above is passive aggressive. Send a cute picture of you from the weekend. No text. Men are visual. If he wants to pursue, he will respond. So guess I just ignore then? I was planning to text back for one last time for just being nice. Hmm we never send selfies or pictures! At this point, I don’t think I should make any effort anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Well i asked him yesterday about how was his weekend and he replied ““Hey, it’s been good! Pretty chill, you?”. Was planned to asked him out today for a walk but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. He should’nt reply to me if he doesn’t mean to… but since lots of people are saying he is seeing someone else then I guess I have the answer now? Wenyyy, to be blunt, the man's been behaving like a ****, ignoring your messages, being elusive, possibly lying, etc, why would you "reward" that behavior by chasing him? And yes you reaching out asking him how is weekend was after being treated this way IS chasing him. He's running, you're chasing. The message that sends is he can treat you like yesterday's news, ignore you, not be straight with you, remain elusive, etc and you, Wenyyy will continue liking him, maybe even more than before, and will chase him. Reward him, validate him. My advice? Never do that, it reflects poorly on you, I'm sorry. Leave him alone. If he wants to leave, show him the door. Not in a mean or nasty way, but in a quiet and respectful way. We teach people how to treat us, and by you chasing when he's running reflects low value and lack of self-respect and no man will ever respect you or love you, if you first don't respect and love yourself. Peace and love... xoxo Edited June 7, 2021 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, divegrl said: The text above is passive aggressive. Send a cute picture of you from the weekend. No text. Agree the text is passive aggressive, but sending a pic is just as desperate if not more so 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Wenyyy, to be blunt, the man's been behaving like a ****, ignoring your messages, being elusive, possibly lying, etc, why would you "reward" that behavior by chasing him? And yes you reaching out asking him how is weekend was after being treated this way IS chasing him. He's running, you're chasing. The message that sends is he can treat you like yesterday's news, ignore you, not be straight with you, remain elusive, etc and you, Wenyyy will continue liking him, maybe even more than before, and will chase him. Reward him, validate him. My advice? Never do that, it reflects poorly on you, I'm sorry. Leave him alone. If he wants to leave, show him the door. Not in a mean or nasty way, but in a quiet and respectful way. We teach people how to treat us, and by you chasing when he's running reflects low value and lack of self-respect and no man will ever respect you or love you, if you don't first respect and love yourself. Peace and love... xoxo Thanks poppyfields!! I guess I better not reply his text anymore and let it be. If he’s still interested, he knows where to find me. But in the mean time, I was thinking if I should put some words to end the conversation? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Just now, Wenyyyy said: Thanks poppyfields!! I guess I better not reply his text anymore and let it be. If he’s still interested, he knows where to find me. But in the mean time, I was thinking if I should put some words to end the conversation? As I don’t want to seems mean/bad😅 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree the text is passive aggressive, but sending a pic is just as desperate if not more so Yeah.... a picture would be for the long game... if she wanted to keep him in her rotation. OP- 100% do not make this man a priority. Only an option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Thanks poppyfields!! I guess I better not reply his text anymore and let it be. If he’s still interested, he knows where to find me. But in the mean time, I was thinking if I should put some words to end the conversation? There is no need for more words Wenyyy, your silence actually sends a stronger message... It's not mean, it's actually respectful. If he wants to talk or see you, he knows where to find you, and if that happens, you can consider it. That's the attitude you should have, it reflects high value and self-respect. Never ever chase a man when he's running, that's a great lesson to be learned from this. 😅 Edited June 7, 2021 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, divegrl said: Yeah.... a picture would be for the long game... if she wanted to keep him in her rotation. OP- 100% do not make this man a priority. Only an option. I don't recommend chasing 'options' either. Just because a man is only an option, you should still behave with self-respect and high value, imo.. No chasing when he's running... Edited June 7, 2021 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 I don’t think opening a message..... tapping on a picture.... and pressing send, qualifies as “chasing” someone. It takes all of 2 seconds. I respect your perspective... we all see the world through a different lens. Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Well i asked him yesterday about how was his weekend and he replied ““Hey, it’s been good! Pretty chill, you?”. Was planned to asked him out today for a walk but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. He should’nt reply to me if he doesn’t mean to… but since lots of people are saying he is seeing someone else then I guess I have the answer now? 12 hours to say that. Don’t ask him anything. Move on. NEXT!! As you said he knows where to find you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, divegrl said: I don’t think opening a message..... tapping on a picture.... and pressing send, qualifies as “chasing” someone. It takes all of 2 seconds. I respect your perspective... we all see the world through a different lens. Sending a pic (I presume a "hot" pic) is validation-seeking, that's actually worse than chasing! I mean what's the expectation? He sees how hot you are and he'll come running after you? For what purpose, sex? I respect your opinion too, but personally I don't need that type of validation, especially when a man treats me poorly or running, it's wreaks of desperation, imo. When regularly dating or in a relationship when things are good? Yes! I'll send a hundred pics! Not when he's running away which this guy is. But if it's worked for you, then so be, we all have our own experiences... Edited June 7, 2021 by poppyfields 4 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 There would be no expectations or need for validation. It’s a simple picture that can be sent without a second thought... with no attachment to a certain outcome. I do agree with you that OP is way too emotionally invested in this man at this point. If she sent a picture, she would be obsessing over his response for days. OP- shifted my perspective. Do not reply anything. Simply move on. Wishing you the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 minute ago, divegrl said: There would be no expectations or need for validation. It’s a simple picture that can be sent without a second thought... with no attachment to a certain outcome.. Fair enough, but if I may ask, what would be your purpose for sending it then if not to elicit some sort of reaction? No judgment, just curious. Even if you remain detached from the outcome, which I agree with, surely there is a reason for clicking and sending? Actually that's a rhetorical question, it's a bit of topic... I am still curious though. 😄 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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