Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 38 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: We also had sex. You were not exclusive, so unfortunately he is probably talking to and meeting others. If he is not contacting you, he's not interested. At best he just wants hookups, so why chase that, unless it's what you want as well?
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: You were not exclusive, so unfortunately he is probably talking to and meeting others. If he is not contacting you, he's not interested. At best he just wants hookups, so why chase that, unless it's what you want as well? So means he lied about what he was doing when he was chatting with me then? It’s not what I want, not him either. We were saying we don’t want hookups relationship before meeting up. And there was one date that I was on period and he knows it before we met up as I told him a week earlier that I’m gonna have period next week but he still wanted to see me again. So we didn’t have sex that day and spent amazing time together.. that’s why I really don’t know what went wrong, is it because of me? Maybe I said something wrong on our last date that made him lost interest?
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 52 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: We also had sex. What do you mean a guy with option? Does it mean he lied to me about who he’s hanging out with when he was dating me? Hmm do you think he would still respond to me? I mean he has been online the whole day but didn’t bother to reply my text I wanted to ask him out for a walk tomorrow to ask him face to face the reason why he deleted his dating accounts and if he have found someone 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: That’s why I have suspicions on his work people because there are some beautiful girls who just moved into the city and he kept hanging out/party with them until 5am recently. I also asked him before if he’s seeing someone else and he said no, and he kept giving me compliments and assurance like I’m the only girl -Options - The beautiful girls he's been hanging out with until 5AM -Will he respond - Whether he does or not he certainly isn't making you a priority is he? Yet he's been online all day. Maybe he suspects you are going to ask him difficult questions so he's avoiding you. Who knows. Why do you need to see him to get the answers to your questions?
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 10 minutes ago, stillafool said: -Options - The beautiful girls he's been hanging out with until 5AM -Will he respond - Whether he does or not he certainly isn't making you a priority is he? Yet he's been online all day. Maybe he suspects you are going to ask him difficult questions so he's avoiding you. Who knows. Why do you need to see him to get the answers to your questions? Ah I thought I could trust him not having something with work people as this is really unusual (the beautiful girl at 5am) well I thought I could ask these straightforward questions face to face and observe how he reacts, his behaviour etc. If I ask these questions on chats he could give excuses or hide his lies easily Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 23 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: well I thought I could ask these straightforward questions face to face and observe how he reacts, his behaviour etc The point really is that he does not owe you an explanation, Wenyyy. You hardly know this guy and it was 4 dates. Maybe he sensed that you were becoming too attached and he decided to bow out. Out of curiosity, how do you know his coworkers are attractive? 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: The point really is that he does not owe you an explanation, Wenyyy. You hardly know this guy and it was 4 dates. Maybe he sensed that you were becoming too attached and he decided to bow out. Out of curiosity, how do you know his coworkers are attractive? Yeah I know that he doesn’t owe me but would love an answer/truth in order to move on and forget about him. he showed me a group picture of them before, and also I stalked them on social media:) I know I’m really such a stalker
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Wenyyyy said: I know I’m really such a stalker And you're only feeding your obsession by doing this. Why not stop now. Maybe he thought you were acting like and had the expectations of a girlfriend so he's pulling back. I think you are way ahead of yourself for only 4 dates with this guy. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: but would love an answer/truth in order to move on and forget about him. You are unlikely to get the truth, though. Most people have difficulty being honest, and he isn't obligated to share these details with you. It would be best to find your own closure, and perhaps avoid getting intimate too quickly in the future. It seems to be tough for you as your feelings get involved. This is a man you barely know, so moving on should not present too much difficulty. Edited June 6, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: And you're only feeding your obsession by doing this. Why not stop now. Maybe he thought you were acting like and had the expectations of a girlfriend so he's pulling back. I think you are way ahead of yourself for only 4 dates with this guy. Yeah I have stopped, there’s no point of stalking him anymore I guess I need to learn not to be attached to someone so easily and not to put expectation too much on dates
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 10 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You are unlikely to get the truth, though. Most people have difficulty being honest, and he isn't obligated to share these details with you. It would be best to find your own closure, and perhaps avoid getting intimate too quickly in the future. It seems to be tough for you as your feelings get involved. This is a man you barely know, so moving on should not present too much difficulty. Yeah so what if he agrees to meet again for a walk? Do you think I should ask the questions or leave it? and if he really didn’t reply tomorrow, I guess thats the closure and to move on
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah so what if he agrees to meet again for a walk? Do you think I should ask the questions or leave it? No, I don't think you should ask those questions.
Ami1uwant Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 Create a new profile and serif you can find him online. Thrn you’d know if it’s a delete or a block
dramafreezone Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah I did have something with him, we had kisses and cuddles, cook and baked together. He kept updating me what’s he doing when he was dating me, as he always just hang out with his male friends and work people. That’s why I have suspicions on his work people because there are some beautiful girls who just moved into the city and he kept hanging out/party with them until 5am recently. I also asked him before if he’s seeing someone else and he said no, and he kept giving me compliments and assurance like I’m the only girl If someone was asking me if I was seeing someone I would say no. Seeing someone to me means exclusively dating one woman. He's probably dating other women casually. If you haven't agreed on exclusivity then he's not under any obligations to you. 2 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: I really don’t know what went wrong, is it because of me? Maybe I said something wrong on our last date that made him lost interest? It's nothing you did/said. He simply is a partyboy and sort of unreliable. You could ask him out, but asking him what happened won't result in anything except awkwardness, no? 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) - Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy .
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 25 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: If someone was asking me if I was seeing someone I would say no. Seeing someone to me means exclusively dating one woman. He's probably dating other women casually. If you haven't agreed on exclusivity then he's not under any obligations to you. Yeah that’s right we didn’t come to any term on that Dating is so hard nowadays, people just keep exploring different potentials, I should be happy for him that he has found someone
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It's nothing you did/said. He simply is a partyboy and sort of unreliable. You could ask him out, but asking him what happened won't result in anything except awkwardness, no? Yeah that’s true!! I’m usually always a straightforward person so thanks for helping me to see through this about what not to ask! 1
introverted1 Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: I know I’m really such a stalker You've said this twice in this thread. I know you think you're making light of stalking, but it's not a good thing to do for your own mental health. Plus, the anxiety that would lead you to stalk in the first place is probably apparent to this guy, as well, and likely has a bearing on how he feels about you. 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah I have stopped, there’s no point of stalking him anymore I guess I need to learn not to be attached to someone so easily and not to put expectation too much on dates Yep. You had 4 dates, which is not enough time to be worrying about how many other people he's dating, whether he wants to be exclusive with you, etc. The only thing I will say is that if you are someone who prefers to reserve sex for an exclusive relationship, then you should establish that before you have sex. Otherwise, he's free to assume that you are having sex because you wanted to, not because it was a guarantee of future behavior. There's nothing wrong with having sex early on; just understand that it is not a promissory act. 3
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 10 minutes ago, introverted1 said: The only thing I will say is that if you are someone who prefers to reserve sex for an exclusive relationship, then you should establish that before you have sex. Otherwise, he's free to assume that you are having sex because you wanted to, not because it was a guarantee of future behavior. There's nothing wrong with having sex early on; just understand that it is not a promissory act. Yeah actually it’s not sex that I would make those expectation or future fantasy but it’s what he told me (eg: how he he compliments me, saying good things about me etc, compare me to other girls, saying what we should do in the future like picnics, exploring different bars and restaurants). I guess I shouldn’t take those seriously and not to trust anyone easily especially just after few dates Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Posted June 6, 2021 21 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah actually it’s not sex that I would make those expectation or future fantasy but it’s what he told me (eg: how he he compliments me, saying good things about me etc, compare me to other girls, saying what we should do in the future like picnics, exploring different bars and restaurants). I guess I shouldn’t take those seriously and not to trust anyone easily especially just after few dates Yes it's best to not assume anything until they actually ask you to be in a relationship with them. TBH, those things I bolded above are also things done between platonic friends.
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 Maybe he didn’t tell you the truth because he wants you to be there if it doesn’t work out with the other girl. But don’t let him to have you as a second option.
cleverusername Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 Why are you waiting on him? Why can't you go after what you want? Hit him up and be like, "I know we can't meet in person but I would love to see you again! I was thinking we could maybe try a zoom date if you would be up for it? We could both cook something than watch the same movie?" If he doges you have your answer. If he says yes, you have your answer.
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Why are you waiting on him? Why can't you go after what you want? Hit him up and be like, "I know we can't meet in person but I would love to see you again! I was thinking we could maybe try a zoom date if you would be up for it? We could both cook something than watch the same movie?" If he doges you have your answer. If he says yes, you have your answer. She did, she asked him if he would like to go for a walk, he has been online all day but he doesn’t respond. He is not interested anymore
Sun Seeker Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 5 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah actually it’s not sex that I would make those expectation or future fantasy but it’s what he told me (eg: how he he compliments me, saying good things about me etc, compare me to other girls, saying what we should do in the future like picnics, exploring different bars and restaurants). I guess I shouldn’t take those seriously and not to trust anyone easily especially just after few dates There's nothing hard or special about saying those things. Men, myself included will say all those things just to get a woman to agree to have sex.
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 7, 2021 Author Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Lola said: She did, she asked him if he would like to go for a walk, he has been online all day but he doesn’t respond. He is not interested anymore Yeah! Actually I haven’t ask that, only texted “ hey, how was your weekend”, and planned to ask that after but haven’t got any single respond
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