Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) Hello! so I have been seeing this guy for 4 times now. After our fourth date, he actually stopped chatting with me but after 5 days later (where we are supposed to meet again on this week) he approached me just to tell me that his apartment doesn’t allow visitors anymore as the full lockdown just started here. I felt like that’s an excuse of him to stop seeing me. Of course I can’t invite him to mine either because it’s not allowed. Today, I found out that he deleted both of his dating accounts this morning, does he mean he has already found someone else? From my opinion if a guy wants to have a break he would just delete the app instead of accounts… 🤔 I have this feeling that he is seeing someone else, probably his female colleague, I don’t know why I have a strong feeling about this.. should I trust my gut? I really want to know the real reason/truth behind why he deleted his accounts as I really want to see him again. What should I do? Should I ask him and how should I ask him? I don’t want to sound like I just stalked him or sounds very desperate/needy girl. Advices would be much appreciated the reason why I thought he was seeing someone else is that i kept checking his last active on WhatsApp where his last active on Friday and Saturday was 7.30pm until 12.00am or 1am. 7.30 was the time where we usually meet up for our dates. And usually he kept is always online for every 20-40 min even if he’s with friends, except when he was with me. So these period of time where he stopped being online gave me the though that’s he is dating or spending his time with a girl , based on my dates with him. I know I am such a stalker😅 This thoughts just kept circling around me and bothering me, I can’t really focus on my work. Do you think I am just overthinking or do you think I should trust my gut/instinct? Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy Add on words Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 7 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: I have been seeing this guy for 4 times now. … 🤔 I have this feeling that he is seeing someone else, After 4 dates you're not exclusive so both of you are still talking to and meeting others. It doesn't matter if he deleted or blocked you from dating apps, social media or messaging apps. What matters is he's not asking you out. That means move forward and date others. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: After 4 dates you're not exclusive so both of you are still talking to and meeting others. It doesn't matter if he deleted or blocked you from dating apps, social media or messaging apps. What matters is he's not asking you out. That means move forward and date others. Thanks Wiseman, but both of us couldn’t ask each other out anymore because of the full lockdown… that might be the reason he stopped asking me out or may be the reason where he is seeing Someone else 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 5 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: … that might be the reason he stopped asking me out or may be the reason where he is seeing Someone else Could be, but if he were interested, you would know. Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Trust your instinct. Definitely sounds like he is not interested any more and has found someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: After our fourth date, he actually stopped chatting with me ^^^ this. Lockdown does not stop anyone from talking to anyone they are interested in. He lost interest, it happens. Why? Hard to say. Yes he may be chatting to someone else, or he may not be. Some people have many options some have none, but it doesn't prevent them from filtering out those who they feel no connection with. My advice. Forget him. NEXT. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 I would not uninstall a dating app without deleting my account first. If you just uninstall your app your profile stays up and visible to others. I don't understand your logic on that. If he stopped chatting with you then yes he's interested in someone else. It sucks but that's dating. If it's full lock down where you are then hide your profile for now and start dating when the biggest restrictions are lifted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: I would not uninstall a dating app without deleting my account first. If you just uninstall your app your profile stays up and visible to others. I don't understand your logic on that. If he stopped chatting with you then yes he's interested in someone else. It sucks but that's dating. If it's full lock down where you are then hide your profile for now and start dating when the biggest restrictions are lifted. Well he deleted his account. Usually for someone who wanted to take a break from dating (based on my mates), they would delete the app instead of deleting their profiles. yeah but it got me confused as he approached/texted me again after 5 days of no chats from him. I really don’t know if he’s still interested after the lockdowns Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 I think you misunderstand the app situation. When you meet someone you 'hide' your profile. If you just delete the app on your phone your profile will continue showing in people's search, you'll continue getting messages, and if the man you date looks online he'll see you're still there. He contacted you to cancel your date. How long is this lock down for? I thought Europe was all vaccinated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I think you misunderstand the app situation. When you meet someone you 'hide' your profile. If you just delete the app on your phone your profile will continue showing in people's search, you'll continue getting messages, and if the man you date looks online he'll see you're still there. He contacted you to cancel your date. How long is this lock down for? I thought Europe was all vaccinated? Yeah on bumble, it says the user has deleted his account. Yeah that’s was I see as well. But my friend says he approached me, usually guys would just ghost if they’re not interested anymore… so I am pretty confused. I am planning to ask him out tomorrow to have a walk around the city and take away some coffee to see if he’s still interested 🤔 Until 14/6. I’m in asia and the cases has been increasing… Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Maybe he decided to not meet anyone else during lockdown. That would be the smart thing to do. I don't see anything wrong with inviting him to take a walk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Maybe he decided to not meet anyone else during lockdown. That would be the smart thing to do. I don't see anything wrong with inviting him to take a walk. Yeah I decided to ask him tomorrow about the reason if he agrees to go for a walk Yeah! Hopefully he replies😥 feeling nervous. If he doesn’t want to or giving another excuse, guess it’s an obvious sign… Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 5 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: If he doesn’t want to or giving another excuse, guess it’s an obvious sign… Ya, it sucks I know especially after 4 dates. If it doesn't work it's because someone better is coming along 🙂 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 4 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: I really want to know the real reason/truth behind why he deleted his accounts as I really want to see him again. What should I do? Should I ask him and how should I ask him? No, because after just 4 dates, it's really not your business. You are too focused on him. I realize you liked him, but checking his What's App activity to that degree suggests you're too attached already. I would assume that he's lost interest for whatever reason, given that he didn't contact you at for 5 days after your last date. I would just let this one go. He knows where to find you if he wants to re-schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 9 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: No, because after just 4 dates, it's really not your business. You are too focused on him. I realize you liked him, but checking his What's App activity to that degree suggests you're too attached already. I would assume that he's lost interest for whatever reason, given that he didn't contact you at for 5 days after your last date. I would just let this one go. He knows where to find you if he wants to re-schedule. Yeah I feel like I am being too attached of him already.. I thought about him a lot; I just wish he could at least be honest with me and tell me he’s seeing someone else or this is not working 😕 I have just texted him/initiated the conversation 2 hours ago asking him how was his weekend. He’s been online but hasn’t text back, guess this is the end Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Yes, I’m sorry to tell you but he is looking for excuses. The lockdown could be true, but you’d notice if he is still interested. Even if you can’t catch up he will text you regularly, call you and even FaceTime. Don’t waist your time, move on, he is obviously seeing someone else. don’t force anything, if he has been online and he didn’t reply it’s because you’re not his priority. Keep trying dating someone else, enjoy time by yourself too, when you feel good with yourself, you will realise that if somebody good enough wants to join your way he’s welcome but if no.. Next Good luck 🥰 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, Lola said: Yes, I’m sorry to tell you but he is looking for excuses. The lockdown could be true, but you’d notice if he is still interested. Even if you can’t catch up he will text you regularly, call you and even FaceTime. Don’t waist your time, move on, he is obviously seeing someone else. don’t force anything, if he has been online and he didn’t reply it’s because you’re not his priority. Keep trying dating someone else, enjoy time by yourself too, when you feel good with yourself, you will realise that if somebody good enough wants to join your way he’s welcome but if no.. Next Good luck 🥰 Yeah I thought he’s not much of a texter himself as usually we don’t chat much on text. Well, guess I should accept the fact now that he has found someone else as deleting dating accounts seems like an obvious sign that he has just committed to someone. 😕 thanks a bunch Lola! Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 27 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah I thought he’s not much of a texter himself as usually we don’t chat much on text. Well, guess I should accept the fact now that he has found someone else as deleting dating accounts seems like an obvious sign that he has just committed to someone. 😕 thanks a bunch Lola! I just wish they could be honest about the feelings instead of looking for excuses. It happened to me once. Everything was going well (I thought so), we had been dating for a while and I really liked him, but he changed and said he was busy and couldn’t go out with me. I felt terrible, like it was my fault and I thought I wasn’t good enough or I did something wrong. I was depressed. But I moved on, I learned English, I travelled and I met my husband who is 1000 times better, so everything happens for a reason. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 4 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: yeah but it got me confused as he approached/texted me again after 5 days of no chats from him. I really don’t know if he’s still interested after the lockdowns 6 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: he approached me just to tell me that his apartment doesn’t allow visitors anymore as the full lockdown just started here. I felt like that’s an excuse of him to stop seeing me. No he's no longer interested. The only reason he contacted you after 5 days was to tell you that you can't come over. You notice he didn't make alternative plans. It's time to move on now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: No he's no longer interested. The only reason he contacted you after 5 days was to tell you that you can't come over. You notice he didn't make alternative plans. It's time to move on now. This is so hard 😔 I wish he could just tell me this is really not working out instead of playing my mind!! do you think that he’s found someone now? Don’t know if he will ever reply my text anymore Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: This is so hard 😔 I wish he could just tell me this is really not working out instead of playing my mind!! do you think that he’s found someone now? Don’t know if he will ever reply my text anymore After just 4 dates he probably doesn't see himself as playing with your mind. He just considered it dating because you guys weren't exclusive. He was more than likely dating another/others while he was dating you. He may have decided to become exclusive with one of them or met someone new he's now dating. Di you have sex with him and that is the reason you are so attached? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) . Edited June 6, 2021 by Wenyyyy . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: After just 4 dates he probably doesn't see himself as playing with your mind. He just considered it dating because you guys weren't exclusive. He was more than likely dating another/others while he was dating you. He may have decided to become exclusive with one of them or met someone new he's now dating. Di you have sex with him and that is the reason you are so attached? Yeah I did have something with him, we had kisses and cuddles, cook and baked together. He kept updating me what’s he doing when he was dating me, as he always just hang out with his male friends and work people. That’s why I have suspicions on his work people because there are some beautiful girls who just moved into the city and he kept hanging out/party with them until 5am recently. I also asked him before if he’s seeing someone else and he said no, and he kept giving me compliments and assurance like I’m the only girl Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Oh I see just kisses and cuddles. That's good. He sounds like a guy with options so he's playing them out. It doesn't sound like he's trying to hurt you it's just working out that way. You could always ask him if he sees you two going further but he may lie to protect your feelings. It's best to watch his actions. When a guy wants you they let you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wenyyyy Posted June 6, 2021 Author Share Posted June 6, 2021 7 minutes ago, stillafool said: Oh I see just kisses and cuddles. That's good. He sounds like a guy with options so he's playing them out. It doesn't sound like he's trying to hurt you it's just working out that way. You could always ask him if he sees you two going further but he may lie to protect your feelings. It's best to watch his actions. When a guy wants you they let you know. We also had sex. What do you mean a guy with option? Does it mean he lied to me about who he’s hanging out with when he was dating me? Hmm do you think he would still respond to me? I mean he has been online the whole day but didn’t bother to reply my text I wanted to ask him out for a walk tomorrow to ask him face to face the reason why he deleted his dating accounts and if he have found someone Link to post Share on other sites
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