Firstlady07 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 So I've been dating this guy for about 6 months. We talk and text everyday. The past 2 days he hasn't called just text. This happens occasionally especially if one of us is busy but it doesn't happen often and definitely not 2 days in a row. Now granted he has a lot going on seems like life keeps hitting him. His brother died a little over a month ago, that same day he got into a fight with a man who was trying to rob him. He just found out his mom has cancer, his car was stolen a week ago and he's having some issues with his business. It's like he's on a streak of bad luck smh. We recently talked about me moving there and getting a larger place. He lives about 3 1/2 hours from me. We had applied for an apartment and got approved and I'm planning to move in a week. I know he has a lot going on and I'm not his main focus with everything but I do feel like since I am making this huge move and risk to be with him that he could at least call me even if it's just a quick 10 min conversation. Especially since I'm doing a lot of the work since he's focused on other stuff. He has texted and checked on me and let me know he was busy and some of what was going on so he has been communicating. I'm trying to be considerate of everything he has going on but I still feel he could call. Am I tripping or being too sensitive about him not calling in 2 days and only text? I haven't said anything to him about it.
lonelyplanetmoon Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 You are being a little selfish if it is true all those things just happened in his life recently. I would not make the move so soon into a new relationship anyway. 6 months is not very long to be dating. Why such the rush. You should move for you, not for him. If you do it for him, that will perpetually be your reason when you want to guilt him.. I am dating someone and we text a few times a day when we don’t see each other. We hardly ever call each other. I judge our relationship on how we are when we are together. 1
Sun Seeker Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 Is your call button on your phone broken or something? What's stopping you from calling him? He doesn't have to be the one to always call you. 3
CollinW Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) Have you called him? Please tell me why you can't pick up the back breaking slack of pressing the call button for a boyfriend who's brother died, was just robbed, car stolen, and has a parent diagnosed with cancer. Edited June 5, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator civility 2
elaine567 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 You need to call him, as the big move may not be happening and he is not calling as he doesn't know how to tell you... I think for him to move when he has all that going on could be overwhelming for him. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 You may want to reflect if you could be coming across as clingy. Dating is for independent adults, it's not babysitting. Keep busy with family, friends, interests, hobbies, take some courses and classes, get a side hustle, volunteer, make better choices and use of your spare time to round out your life more. 1
Author Firstlady07 Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 Yes, of course I've called him. He hasn't answered or called back just text. Last time we had a phone conversation was on Wed we talked about 2 1/2 hours and talked about the move. Everything was still good. I just thought he would find time to call or call back even if just 10 mins in 2 days. Like I said I know he has a lot going on and focused on other things. I didn't wanna say anything to him about it if I was tripping or being inconsiderate. That's why I asked you great folks lol.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 Don't mean to scare you but when people go through great losses it has a way of putting everything back in perspective and people will end relationships, change job, move, etc. This is a very new relationship and moving in at 6 months was a rushed decision he may be realizing. You have no power over this. Put the phone down and let him figure himself out.
Wiseman2 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 7 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: I've been dating this guy for about 6 months. We recently talked about me moving there and getting a larger place. He lives about 3 1/2 hours from me. We had applied for an apartment and got approved and I'm planning to move in a week. This seems like way too much way too soon.
Author Firstlady07 Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 6 hours ago, CollinW said: Have you called him? Please tell me why you can't pick up the back breaking slack of pressing the call button for a boyfriend who's brother died, was just robbed, car stolen, and has a parent diagnosed with cancer. Yes, I've called him. He didn't answer or call back only texted. I am trying to be considerate that he has a lot going on.
Calmandfocused Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 If he’s not returning your calls I would assume that he’s avoiding you and wants space from you at the moment. Do as he asks and back off for a while. Moving in together couldn’t have come at a worse time. Is both your names on the lease? If so you have a big problem as both of you are liable for rent. Prepare for the possibility that he may decide that he doesn’t want to move in together at this time and carefully consider your options. For the future; remember to never move in with someone after 6 months, especially when they are going through so many life stressors/ transitions. You must have known this when you signed the lease- that was a very poor decision indeed. 1
ShyViolet Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 It sounds like a really bad idea to be moving in together when you've only been dating 6 months, and he has all this massive stress in his life right now. You are wayyy rushing into this.
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