Dull Hargraves Posted June 3, 2021 Posted June 3, 2021 I’m wondering if people have any tips or tricks they use to better their chances getting matches etc? Nothing deceitful or completely undedhanded but just something that has helped you. I’ll start with one that I’ve had a lot of success with. For example, I was swiping on Bumble and the profile of an extremely attractive girl came up. I read her profile and one of the things she mentioned was she ‘gets along with people who don’t take themselves too seriously’. Before I swiped right, I went to my profile and put something to that effect in my description. I swiped right on her and sure enough it didn’t take long and we had matched. I’ve done these a few times and it seems to work more often than not. 1
Gaeta Posted June 4, 2021 Posted June 4, 2021 (edited) She made a match because she liked your pictures, sorry but that's how it works online. On my dating app I get the matches of the day. These men are suppose to have the most in common with me, I have never engaged with any of them. You could be my 100% match, I won't talk to you if your face isn't a bit attractive to me. Edited June 4, 2021 by Gaeta 3 2
BeanCounter Posted June 4, 2021 Posted June 4, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, Gaeta said: She made a match because she liked your pictures, sorry but that's how it works online. On my dating app I get the matches of the day. These men are suppose to have the most in common with me, I have never engaged with any of them. You could be my 100% match, I won't talk to you if your face isn't a bit attractive to me. I think the truth is somewhere in-between. Initial attraction is the first barrier. And there are some people who literally just look at the first picture and swipe. Others go a bit deeper, initial attraction is still huge, but they may look a bit further and see if the details seem like there are common interest and make the final decision based on that, but this is a smaller % of people than everyone on online dating due to the first bit that there a lot of people that literally look at 1 picture and make a snap decision. Either way OP, changing your profile based on one swipe is just nuts to me. Never get attached to someone before they even match with you. Even after they match with you it's a crapshoot. Online dating is is like fishing, drop a lot of lines and don't expect to get a bite with every cast. Make the small decision "yes I would talk to this person for 5 minutes or no I have literally 0 interest" and move on. Should take you 30 seconds or less to make the decision Edited June 4, 2021 by BeanCounter
Trail Blazer Posted June 4, 2021 Posted June 4, 2021 Nah dude, I would just post up the photos and hope for the best. Usually worked out alright. I doubt there's really anything you can do to make any meaningful impact. She's either going to swipe left ot right based on whether you pass a minimum attractiveness level.
mark clemson Posted June 4, 2021 Posted June 4, 2021 8 hours ago, Gaeta said: She made a match because she liked your pictures, sorry but that's how it works online. On my dating app I get the matches of the day. These men are suppose to have the most in common with me, I have never engaged with any of them. You could be my 100% match, I won't talk to you if your face isn't a bit attractive to me. Hear these words, hard up males, and work on your appearance as best you can, for she speaks the truth. Nice haircut, facial grooming, nice clothes. Do what you can/work with what you have. There are MANY ways to impress a woman, but you have to get your foot in the door first in order to have that opportunity.
ThatDude76 Posted June 4, 2021 Posted June 4, 2021 8 hours ago, Gaeta said: She made a match because she liked your pictures, sorry but that's how it works online. On my dating app I get the matches of the day. These men are suppose to have the most in common with me, I have never engaged with any of them. You could be my 100% match, I won't talk to you if your face isn't a bit attractive to me. Pretty much, but I suspect women do read the profile beyond the pictures, even if it is just to see their height and occupation! 1 1
Trail Blazer Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 23 minutes ago, mark clemson said: Hear these words, hard up males, and work on your appearance as best you can, for she speaks the truth. Nice haircut, facial grooming, nice clothes. Do what you can/work with what you have. There are MANY ways to impress a woman, but you have to get your foot in the door first in order to have that opportunity. Well, yeah... no chick in the history of OLD (short of an ostentatious display of wealth and her being a gold digger) has ever thought, "Hmmm, ya know, this dude is kinda ugly but I'm gonna swipe right on him anyway because... [reason]."
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 26 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: Pretty much, but I suspect women do read the profile beyond the pictures, even if it is just to see their height and occupation! I check the profile all the time and if the man only has 1 picture up l do not message or respond. Too fishy. 1
ThatDude76 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I check the profile all the time and if the man only has 1 picture up l do not message or respond. Too fishy. Definitely, one picture is fishy indeed. 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 On 6/3/2021 at 11:32 AM, Dull Hargraves said: I’m wondering if people have any tips or tricks they use to better their chances getting matches etc? Nothing deceitful or completely undedhanded but just something that has helped you. I’ll start with one that I’ve had a lot of success with. For example, I was swiping on Bumble and the profile of an extremely attractive girl came up. I read her profile and one of the things she mentioned was she ‘gets along with people who don’t take themselves too seriously’. Before I swiped right, I went to my profile and put something to that effect in my description. I swiped right on her and sure enough it didn’t take long and we had matched. I’ve done these a few times and it seems to work more often than not. using bumble tinder, etc. it’s all looks driven. Peop,e do t read profiles. 20 years ago that technique might work where peop,e wanted to find true matches and read profiles.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 @enigma32very good point about getting friends to help with the pictures. My youngest daughter took pictures of me, we had a blast doing this. Then my oldest daughter picked which pictures were the best. Now, there was one picture l did not like but my daughter insisted l put it up until l said ok....well that picture is the one l get the most likes!! Trust what your friends consider your best pictures. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 And you don't want to be a chameleon. You want to lay out some of your strongest interests ... so that people who appreciate those interests can get a positive hit from reading your profile. Yes, you're "selling" yourself, but not generically. You want to sell a specific person ... so don't go changing your profile just to get a date. Put out an honest and revealing profile about what you're like and what's really important to you ... maybe what you like about your personality ... and some hobbies and so on ... and let go. But yes, the most important part are photos. Absolutely. 1
Author Dull Hargraves Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 I’m not a bad looking guy and I probably get more than my share of likes. My example was one particular girl. Let’s say she has something on her profile and I mirror that on mine like ‘people who don’t take themselves too seriously’ and then I swipe right (on some sites I can even tell if she is online or not). She gets my like, sees pretty much her own words but about something in general it sort of strikes a chord in her. I have had this work a few times. And I’m not changing anything major, only what I think they call ‘prompts’.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 You, and many men, think there is a recipe to attract a woman. A little more of this, a liittle less of that and poof!! She's yours, like a magic potion. Sorry to disappoint you, it's not. A couple more words in you profile will not make her swipe right. 1
mark clemson Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 15 hours ago, Trail Blazer said: Well, yeah... no chick in the history of OLD (short of an ostentatious display of wealth and her being a gold digger) has ever thought, "Hmmm, ya know, this dude is kinda ugly but I'm gonna swipe right on him anyway because... [reason]." I don't know about absolutes, but yeah - certainly one has to play the odds as best one can. Being attractive is a big deal (in the dating/romance/reproduction world). It's really a starting point (and a good one) more than anything else. As pointed out above, nothing works for everyone.
SumGuy Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) To each their own. Believe we all have a minimum in looks but could be lower than many think. My experience and stories hear from women I’m interested in can make or break you. Looks is not enough and a profile can take a maybe to yes. Also an endemic or off putting profile can kill any interest. Let alone not everyone photographs well, glad I learned that long ago...how to ascertain if they likely look much better in person. I’ve far more encounters where she looked better than her profile pics than worse. Edited June 5, 2021 by SumGuy
dramafreezone Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, Gaeta said: You, and many men, think there is a recipe to attract a woman. A little more of this, a liittle less of that and poof!! She's yours, like a magic potion. Sorry to disappoint you, it's not. A couple more words in you profile will not make her swipe right. Well I disagree with that. Everyone has an individual recipe to attract them. Is there such a thing as a one-size-fits-all receipe? No, that's impossible. No matter how many good things a guy has going for him, some women are just going to look at him and say, not my cup of tea. Being great looking, showing photos doing fun hobbies, demonstrating a zeal for life, and not taking yourself too seriously would work pretty well for a majority. The small portion of great looking guys get most of the attention from women online (which is why that guy isn't too keen on settling down). Thing is we can't control our looks, but doing the other things will maximize the guy's opportunities. But OP needs to come to grips with the fact that you can't attract everyone. Initial attraction is pretty much pre-set. There's nothing you can do to attract someone if they just don't see the possibility of sex with you, if they can't picture that in their head when they first set eyes on you. Edited June 5, 2021 by dramafreezone
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 15 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: But OP needs to come to grips with the fact that you can't attract everyone. Initial attraction is pretty much pre-set. There's nothing you can do to attract someone if they just don't see the possibility of sex with you, if they can't picture that in their head when they first set eyes on you. I agree. My recipe example was for those women who don't envision ever having sex with you. Some men think if they find the right words, figure out her favorite flowers, show his expensive car, that will somehow change her mind.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 22 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: showing photos doing fun hobbies I want to address that. Tons if men put up pictures of their fishing trip, holding anormous salmons, sunglasses and hat on, unshaven. Gentlemen those pictures only look good to YOU!! Same with pictures of you on golf court 15 meters away! Annoying. Pictures of you in full leather with helmet on next to your bike......sigh.
dramafreezone Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I want to address that. Tons if men put up pictures of their fishing trip, holding anormous salmons, sunglasses and hat on, unshaven. Gentlemen those pictures only look good to YOU!! Same with pictures of you on golf court 15 meters away! Annoying. Pictures of you in full leather with helmet on next to your bike......sigh. YOU don't like that. Obviously some other woman does if that guy gets matches, right? Some women like outdoorsy types of guys and they want to have an idea that the guy actually partakes in that lifestyle. It doesn't matter what the guy does with his profile, if you ask 100 women some are going to say it's a turnoff and it doesn't work for them. That actually reinforces your premise, there is no single formule that works for everyone. That's why I kind of cringe when a guy comes on here asking for dating profile advice. If he gets a lot of input from women he'll end up being more confused than when he started just because everyone has preferences. All he can do is post photos of his hobbies, some women will like it, others won't. Edited June 5, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 Dramafreezone you missed my point. The pictures l'm talking about do not show the men's face. If you're at a fishing trip, or on golf, or you bike, then use a picture where we see your face! I have a first date later today. The man has pictures of him on roller blades, sun glasses and helmet (can't see face) then a picture of him skiing with full face protection, then another pic of him in a canoe feets away, still no clue who he is. I had to ask for a picture where l see his face, how he looks with a smile, his eyes expression, etc. He can list in his profile he bungee jumps, seeing the picture of a body with no face hangning at the end of a rope is useless. I'm a woman doing online dating, i'm giving you an insight in how we think.
dramafreezone Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) 30 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Dramafreezone you missed my point. The pictures l'm talking about do not show the men's face. If you're at a fishing trip, or on golf, or you bike, then use a picture where we see your face! I have a first date later today. The man has pictures of him on roller blades, sun glasses and helmet (can't see face) then a picture of him skiing with full face protection, then another pic of him in a canoe feets away, still no clue who he is. I had to ask for a picture where l see his face, how he looks with a smile, his eyes expression, etc. He can list in his profile he bungee jumps, seeing the picture of a body with no face hangning at the end of a rope is useless. I'm a woman doing online dating, i'm giving you an insight in how we think. You're going out with this guy? That's not a man/woman thing. Anyone not showing their face would raise concerns. Edited June 5, 2021 by dramafreezone
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: You're going out with this guy? That's not a man/woman thing. Anyone not showing their face would raise concerns. We have our first meeting at 18h today. He did show me a picture of him shoulders up with no gear. Then l have 2 other first meetings tomorrow. These 2 men have pictures of them doing outdoor activities but the pictures show their face, eyes, smile. I am more motivated meeting them than meeting the other guy so into his sports he puts up pictures he likes, not pictures women would like to see which is pictures with facial expression.
Shining One Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: We have our first meeting at 18h today. He did show me a picture of him shoulders up with no gear. There was something about his existing pictures and/or profile that made you interested enough to ask him for a clear picture rather than just ignoring him. What was it about him that allowed him to make the cut? That would be rather useful insight. 1
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Shining One said: There was something about his existing pictures and/or profile that made you interested enough to ask him for a clear picture rather than just ignoring him. What was it about him that allowed him to make the cut? That would be rather useful insight. His profile said he had a car and a job! Lol i'm not too demanding the date was great! He looked way better than his 1 picture. Very nice man, polite, respectful. He was a nice surprise. Edited June 5, 2021 by Gaeta 1
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