Hockeyprincess83 Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Heres my situation... I dated my exboyfriend on and off for the past 4 years. We shared alot together, but eventually i started to fall out of love for him. He loves me to death and wants this whole big future with me. Tells me that he is missing a part of his heart and he feels empty cause we arent together. I do love him to death, but just as my friend, not my boyfriend. I want so badly for us to stay friends because of the history that we have had together. But in the same sense..i have moved on. I currently have a new boyfriend who im extremely happy with who treats me way better then the ex did. The whole problem is that i need to tell the ex that i have moved on because it is absolutly killing me. I feel like i am living this secret life because i do still talk to my ex. It really isnt fair for him to be waiting around for me when i have moved on. I have tried telling him that i have fallen out of love and i dont feel the same and blah blah blah....and i feel like he isnt getting it.So seriously how do i tell him that i have moved on. I am terrified to tell him. Not becausehe will do anything to me but because i do not want to hurt him anymore. Pleaseplease help me.
Asmera Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Tough situation! Maybe you could start out by telling him one last time that you two have no future other than as friends. Give him some time, by this I mean be a little distant. Don't call so much, don't answer your phone so much, lay off the emails and such. Just don't be so available to your ex, he'll hopefully get the point. Then in time tell him what is going on. There's no guarantee how he'll act. I applaud you for being so caring and worried about another's feelings. Hang in there. He'll be ok, just give him some time.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 for a start you should stop messing him about and tell him the whole truth, how else is the poor guy supposed to feel or know, you are trying to make yourself feel better letting him down easy but you are prolonging his pain i'd also advise him to have nothing more to do with you whatsoever, this isn't aimed at you but its the only way to rid someone out of your heart, you two will never be friends after what you went through together
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 I agree 100% with BRHW. You can't be friends with him AT ALL. It isn't fair to him, you were FBW with him and he was so inlove with you. Either way he is going to be very hurt. Be honest and let him know you DO and always will care about him but can't be with him emotionally and physically anymore.
downcydeguy Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 This is way too common of women. You can't string a guy along just because you don't wanna hurt his feelings! You have to understand that brutal honesty is the only way a guy can learn to accept it down the road. If he didn't treat you well - tell him that. If you started sleeping around on him - tell him. He'll be crushed but will have a temporary hatred of you, which will erase his desire to get back together. He will one day wake up and realize why you did what you did and move on.
Recommended Posts