Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 2 hours ago, CollinW said: Due to today's antisocial environments and introversion, people are buying animals as a replacement for human interaction and children. And that's going to cause problems because animal owners don't realize how abnormal it is to act like you and your pet is a package deal So you think sleeping with my therapy rat is offputting? 4 1
Alpacalia Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 2 hours ago, CollinW said: This is an issue that's going to pop up more often in relationships. Due to today's antisocial environments and introversion, people are buying animals as a replacement for human interaction and children. And that's going to cause problems because animal owners don't realize how abnormal it is to act like you and your pet is a package deal Oh hogposh. Dogs are the best. 4
basil67 Posted June 7, 2021 Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, CollinW said: This is an issue that's going to pop up more often in relationships. Due to today's antisocial environments and introversion, people are buying animals as a replacement for human interaction and children. And that's going to cause problems because animal owners don't realize how abnormal it is to act like you and your pet is a package deal People haven't changed - the world has. The world has always had loners and introverts, but they are simply more obvious now because life is closer and busier. Back 150yrs ago, someone who tended to their farm or lived in a rural area could have had a lovely quiet life with their animals without getting judged as abnormal. They would simply be described as "they keep to themselves" Edited June 7, 2021 by basil67 4
SSM3 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 I have this problem too. My gf refuses to put her dog downstairs at it's in her bedroom. When she stays over at mine, the dog is also with us too. We spend all day with her dog and go to bed together too, which I hate! Our bedroom is a place for man and woman to bond, not man, women and dog. 1
SSM3 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 On 6/4/2021 at 3:18 AM, cleverusername said: Dogs are people too. Dog sleeps on the bed. Boyfriend gets the doggybed Dogs are people too, in which planet?
FMW Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 This is about compatability. Having pets around, especially sharing your bed with them, is a particular choice. Nothing wrong with the choice either way- but people who don't feel the same way about it are not compatible. OP, you have the dog now so in my opinion he is part of your life from here forward. You'll have to figure out if you are willing to have the dog sleep somewhere other than your bed when your boyfriend is there, or if you are going to end your relationship with your boyfriend. I sleep with my pets, so does the guy I'm involved with. But I would never expect someone else to be ok with it simply because it's ok with me. Nothing wrong with you making your own decisions, but nothing wrong with him choosing not to stick around if he doesn't like them. 2
salparadise Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 15 minutes ago, FMW said: But I would never expect someone else to be ok with it simply because it's ok with me. Yea, that’s kind of the tipping point on this whole issue I think. When people put pets ahead of other people, and somehow feel completely justified… the whack-a-doodle lights are flashing. And chances are it will not be the only area in which they deviate from accepted norms. Sign up for that roller coaster at your own peril. 1
Happy Lemming Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 Funny story... Years ago, I was dating this woman who had this older smaller dog. I think it was a Pomeranian (mix). We would close the door during sex, but afterwards she'd pick the dog up and put him on the foot of the bed. The dog had aged to the point that he couldn't jump up on the bed. During the night, the dog would jump off the bed to look around or wander or do whatever dogs do at night, then he'd sit and whimper as he couldn't get back up on the bed. She'd sleep through it, but it woke me up. So, I'd get up... pick the dog up and place him back on the foot of the bed and try to go back to sleep. Of course the dog would do this multiple times a night. I really liked this woman, but got tired of having my sleep interrupted by the dog. Closing the door was not an option, as he would scratch at the door and whimper louder. So, I built a "doggy" staircase for him. I watched him walk up and down the stairs to her apartment complex and took measurements. I stained the doggy stairs the same color as her bedroom set (to match) and it looked GREAT. Initially the dog wouldn't use it, so I added carpet to the treads of the doggy stairs. He was happy and utilized his mini staircase. As time progressed, the dog got more confident with his staircase and would skip the last stair and launch himself onto the bed. And where do you think he landed in the middle of the night when he jumped on the bed... Yep... you guessed it my junk. I can't win. 4
elaine567 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 2 hours ago, SSM3 said: Dogs are people too, in which planet? Ask your gf about that one...
SSM3 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: Ask your gf about that one... Dogs are animals. I don't need to ask anyone 1 1
elaine567 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 2 minutes ago, SSM3 said: Dogs are animals. I don't need to ask anyone I doubt your girlfriend would agree with you.
SSM3 Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 13 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I doubt your girlfriend would agree with you. Anyone who thinks pets are human must be pets themselves 2
Miss Spider Posted July 5, 2021 Posted July 5, 2021 5 hours ago, SSM3 said: Dogs are animals. Not quite sure I understand. 1
CLS63AMG Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 My dog has always slept in the bed with me, she's a very clean dog and still jumps in bed even if I have a lady in it and that wont change. The dog would literally not know where to sleep and become depressed. I do not treat my dogs like that 3
salparadise Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 11 hours ago, CLS63AMG said: she's a very clean dog… Does she use snout sanitizer after sniffing arse, poop, and dead stuff? I had a wonderful German Shepherd from age 22-35. We were inseparable. But she never slept in my bed, and we were both quite clear about who was the dog and who was the human. Makes for a better relationship. 1 1
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 What if you own a Saint Bernard? Do they get to sleep in the bed too? 1
butterfingerbbz Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 This very issue came up early on in my last relationship and I chose to look past it, which (in hindsight) only caused larger problems as time went on. My cat and I are inseparable, and she had been sleeping with me in my bed for maybe 6 years prior to meeting my ex. My ex is an animal lover but has never allowed animals in her bed, and once she started sleeping over she became very vocal about my cat sleeping with us. Eventually I caved and started locking my cat out at night. Deep down it killed me, and it only contributed to our relationship problems because my cat would sit outside my door and meow all night. Point being, this is a bigger deal breaker than most people realize. You'll likely wind up resenting your partner for it. Better to deal with it now than years down the road. 2 1
Allupinnit Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 20 hours ago, CLS63AMG said: My dog has always slept in the bed with me, she's a very clean dog and still jumps in bed even if I have a lady in it and that wont change. The dog would literally not know where to sleep and become depressed. I do not treat my dogs like that Right, try telling my golden who has slept on the bed all her life that she can't anymore LOL - she would think she was being punished! Definitely a compatibility thing, but not sure where posters are getting that it's out of the norm. All of my dog-owning friends have their pups sleep on the bed. I love the way my Goldens smell - like home. Burying my face in their necks and ears is just the best. That said my dog has been a dealbreaker to some men and that's ok, I'm not closing my dog in the bedroom or leaving her at home overnight just to spend time with a man, though. 2
Allupinnit Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) Nevermind Edited July 6, 2021 by Allupinnit
Allupinnit Posted July 6, 2021 Posted July 6, 2021 On 7/5/2021 at 11:24 AM, salparadise said: Yea, that’s kind of the tipping point on this whole issue I think. When people put pets ahead of other people, and somehow feel completely justified… the whack-a-doodle lights are flashing. And chances are it will not be the only area in which they deviate from accepted norms. Sign up for that roller coaster at your own peril. It sounds like you harbor a lot of ill-feelings toward your ex, still, and that the dog on the bed was just one of many issues. 2 1
salparadise Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 49 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: It sounds like you harbor a lot of ill-feelings toward your ex, still, and that the dog on the bed was just one of many issues. I think you've got me confused with someone who had an ex/dog-on-bed issue. But I am a guy, and since we're all guilty of not conforming to female expectations, I'll take the whipping for whomever this was intended in the name of solidarity. Cheers! 1
Allupinnit Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 33 minutes ago, salparadise said: I think you've got me confused with someone who had an ex/dog-on-bed issue. But I am a guy, and since we're all guilty of not conforming to female expectations, I'll take the whipping for whomever this was intended in the name of solidarity. Cheers! You're the one who mentioned your ex-wife who used to do "similar crap." So clearly, even if there was no literal dog on the bed, this issue triggered you. What do you mean by the bolded? No whipping needed my H loves having the dogs on our bed. 1
salparadise Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 8 hours ago, Allupinnit said: You're the one who mentioned your ex-wife who used to do "similar crap." So clearly, even if there was no literal dog on the bed, this issue triggered you. What do you mean by the bolded? I guess I was thinking about the number of times she made [or tried to make] unilateral decisions that impacted me and therefore should have been made jointly. And then she'd act like I was being unreasonable for objecting. Of course there were many instances where I didn't make an issue of it, or where her decisions were made covertly, that had consequences. So, to relate it back to this thread... decisions and changes that impact both should be made jointly. The fact that she's trying to pull a power-slide on her boyfriend, knowing how he feels, and despite a long established norm of not having other species in the bed... I don't want to hijack the thread, but I do feel like a good rant.
Trail Blazer Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 On 6/3/2021 at 12:42 PM, ShyViolet said: If your boyfriend is not cool with your dog and doesn't completely accept your dog and all that comes with it, then you and him are not compatible. Period. Pets are family members and you don't EVER compromise that for a relationship. Someone's attitude towards animals and pets says a lot about them as a person. I love animals but having a dog sleep on a bed near my face is a deal-breaker. That doesn't say anything about me as a person. 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 7, 2021 Posted July 7, 2021 59 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: I love animals but having a dog sleep on a bed near my face is a deal-breaker. That doesn't say anything about me as a person. Agree. There is a marketing push to humanize animals as babies/children promoted mostly by pet supply industries. For example vegan dog food or cute outfits (not protective clothing) for animals. Dressing up cats and dogs in cute outfits seems more like animal misuse. Google it, it's pretty creepy. 1
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