HeadIsGone100 Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 I was in a serious relationship with a woman on and off for just over 5 years. When I first met her she had 2 children, this never seemed to bother me and we connected spectacularly. You could even say it was love at 1st sight, the 1st time we spent time together we didn’t stop talking even when the birds started singing as the sun came up. We were inseparable instantly and didn’t even have any sexual contact for over a week which doesn’t seem long but we were literally together 24/7 before that happened. Skip forward, We almost had a child together but sadly we suffered a miscarriage. She then became very insecure and somewhat needy to an unhealthy situation. We argued and eventually broke up in a very dramatic and messy way but a few years later we started talking and clicked quickly again and fell straight back into old habits, it went exactly the same but this time I also had a child of my own from someone I was seeing in the time we were not together. She really wanted another child but I was always over stressed and worried about being able to support myself and now not only my child but her 2 as I was fully understanding that they are a package. The stress and arguments got too much and we parted again but this time it was really civilised. Skip 3 years down the line to now and I can’t stop thinking about her and what could’ve and potentially still could be. She has another child now so I know that means we would have 4 kids and my job is nowhere near good enough to support all of us. I feel we have both grown up so much and if I won the lottery I would ask her to marry me tonight but I feel mentally it’s a lot for me to take on in my current financial situation. It’s blowing my head up though cos we haven’t even been talking and I feel like I’m crazy about her and I know she would take me back no hesitation but I don’t want to hurt her or confuse her children. Someone please help Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 I'd suggest some IC. It sounds like you might be developing e.g. bipolar disorder or perhaps some other issue. Possibly you have developed limerence for her. At any rate, if you know for sure that it can't work, then you need to accept that. Possibly a counselor could help with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 On 6/2/2021 at 3:59 PM, HeadIsGone100 said: I was in a serious relationship with a woman on and off for just over 5 years. Sorry this is happening. you need to end it for good so you can both move on, co-parent with the respective other parents and not have all this drama and strife in your and your kids' lives. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 My first inclination is to say that if it hasn't worked for five years, it's probably not going to work now, unless you both put in some serious work to stay together (including counseling.) But even then, the fact that you are considering NOT getting together because of the number of kids you have between you does not bode well for the relationship, either. Does she work? Would she be contributing to the household? Also, the two of you haven't been talking. How do you even know she would be open to a relationship? I think it's best to leave it as is and work to find a way to move on for good. That's probably what's best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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