NeurodivergentMe Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 I don’t think it was. But you can let me know. To cut a long story short, through an unusual set of circumstances I ended up talking to this guy on FB and having video chats. We don’t live in the same country and couldn’t meet due to covid restrictions. It was clear that he has issues from the beginning. Not his fault but anyway. He seemed to be in a cycle of posting dark thoughts he was having on his news feed at night. Then would delete them the next day. I will admit that I became very attracted to him in a physical sense. But he started to get intense with me and angry if I didn’t respond straight away. He was saying he wanted to marry me constantly. I pointed out to him that you can’t decide something like that online. And he seemingly unable to accept that since we live in different time zones, I may be asleep when he messages me. So I became anxious about what messages I was going to wake up to. Suddenly, the other day I got a nasty message from another woman accusing me of trying to steal him from her and saying that he’s her bf. The two of them are both listed as single. I asked him if this were true and he said no, she’s in love with him and also ‘crazy’. He told me to block her. So I said to him that I don’t like men who refer to other women as crazy and that it’s highly unlikely she’d just make this up with no encouragement from him at all. She sent me a screenshot of them talking. Which I have to say, did not sound like they are in any kind of relationship. I pointed out to him that whilst I really don’t care who he might or might not be hooking up with, I could do without getting nasty messages from dramas / women that have nothing to do with me. Since then he has gone into a sulk, only responding to a message with a one word answer. He has left me thinking that I have wronged him really badly because I was not willing to just accept him saying a woman in his own social network is crazy. At some point I think he probably will be back in touch. Clearly, he’s a volatile person with a strange attachment style. for my own part, and acknowledging that I’m not perfect. I’m autistic and my sensory profile means that I seek out sexual partners who are a bit unbalanced mentally and therefore provide more excitement for me in the bedroom. This causes me to become unstuck again and again.
Blind-Sided Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 Ummmmmmmmmm........................... Block them both, and walk away. 2
Calmandfocused Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 You won’t get any sexual excitement from a man than lives abroad. In this situation you’re also getting a controlling and temperamental personality, with some lies and drama thrown in. What are you doing!!?? Why are you wasting time on this man? 2
ExpatInItaly Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 4 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: I seek out sexual partners who are a bit unbalanced mentally and therefore provide more excitement for me in the bedroom How is providing sexual excitement in the bedroom when he lives in a different country? He sounds unglued. Block him.
smackie9 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 I would have blocked and deleted him the min I saw his dark depressing posts. This guy is wack, and shady. Time to run! 1
introverted1 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 10 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: I seek out sexual partners who are a bit unbalanced mentally and therefore provide more excitement for me in the bedroom. This sounds dangerous.
ShyViolet Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 The fact that you're even still talking to this guy, that you haven't already blocked him, is ridiculous and makes no sense. Why are you still in contact with a crazy person who lives in another country? I literally don't understand. 2
Author NeurodivergentMe Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 Thank you guys. He has been saying that he was going to come & see me once flying restrictions are lifted but tbh I think that’s a bad idea. He has made me feel like I’m a bad person who has treated him horribly and deserves to be punished. And that’s before we even met in person. I’m not speaking to him any more and I do feel better not being anxious about what messages I’ll wake up to.
Wiseman2 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 13 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: I seek out sexual partners who are a bit unbalanced mentally and therefore provide more excitement for me in the bedroom. Is this a BDSM situation you're seeking?
Author NeurodivergentMe Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is this a BDSM situation you're seeking? No, not particularly. Although I suppose it depends what you mean by BDSM. It’s more about the person’s energy I suppose.
BaileyB Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 11 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: Block them both, and walk away. This. You don’t need this kind of drama. And, it’s not normal for a man to tell you that he wants to marry you before even meeting you. 1
Author NeurodivergentMe Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 12 minutes ago, BaileyB said: This. You don’t need this kind of drama. And, it’s not normal for a man to tell you that he wants to marry you before even meeting you. I completely agree.
mark clemson Posted June 2, 2021 Posted June 2, 2021 16 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: Clearly, he’s a volatile person with a strange attachment style. for my own part, and acknowledging that I’m not perfect. I’m autistic and my sensory profile means that I seek out sexual partners who are a bit unbalanced mentally and therefore provide more excitement for me in the bedroom. This causes me to become unstuck again and again. What you need to fix is, therefore, you, or at least your "picker". You could try therapy AND since you are aware of your tendency, you could now attempt to counteract it rationally. I understand as I'm somewhat attracted to "challenging" women myself. However, it's a matter of picking the right challenge level - that is, a level you can live with, IMO. Enough to keep things interesting, but not the too much that leads to problems. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 2, 2021 Posted June 2, 2021 13 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: No, not particularly. Although I suppose it depends what you mean by BDSM. Ok, there are safer ways to search for someone who's into that. 1
Author NeurodivergentMe Posted June 3, 2021 Author Posted June 3, 2021 On 6/2/2021 at 3:12 AM, mark clemson said: What you need to fix is, therefore, you, or at least your "picker". You could try therapy AND since you are aware of your tendency, you could now attempt to counteract it rationally. I understand as I'm somewhat attracted to "challenging" women myself. However, it's a matter of picking the right challenge level - that is, a level you can live with, IMO. Enough to keep things interesting, but not the too much that leads to problems. Sorry, I missed this comment. I have actually had fairly extensive therapy - 3 years actually. Which has helped me a lot but it hasn’t fixed all my problems. 12 years ago I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals and really struggling. A combination of therapy, medication and finding out what my issues are has helped me to stay well. Kind of. I have autism and ADHD. People with ADHD can be attracted to the highs and lows of a relationship with someone complex. I just think that the way my brain is wired causes a lot of problems and I honestly don’t know whether more therapy will ever stop me being attracted to other people who are intense. 1
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2021 Posted June 3, 2021 1 hour ago, NeurodivergentMe said: 12 years ago I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals and really struggling. A combination of therapy, medication and finding out what my issues are has helped me to stay well. Follow up with your psychiatrists and therapists. If you feel yourself getting manic/going off the rails, call the doctor. They don't hospitalize people in psychiatric units for autism and adhd.
Author NeurodivergentMe Posted June 3, 2021 Author Posted June 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Follow up with your psychiatrists and therapists. If you feel yourself getting manic/going off the rails, call the doctor. They don't hospitalize people in psychiatric units for autism and adhd. So you think I need to be in hospital because I go for the wrong men? Im afraid you’re wrong. A lot of people with autism have mental health issues and some are hospitalised if we have had a lot of shut downs and can’t cope. I dont have bipolar disorder - that was discounted years ago by a number of psychiatrists.
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