He showed up to our first date in an old hoodie and cap!

[Weezy1973]

Call it the LoveShack rule: If it’s a big enough issue to compel you to write about it on LoveShack - Next!

[Allupinnit]

15 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

Call it the LoveShack rule: If it’s a big enough issue to compel you to write about it on LoveShack - Next!

LOL this is so true.  My H was the one guy I never felt the need to start a thread about on a r'ship forum.  He just kept showing up.

[dramafreezone]

26 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I have met other men and gone on 2-3 dates with same man and did not feel that way. 

Well you didn't write about those guys did you?  You could have gone out with 50 guys in the past month but if you don't really like them then they aren't viable options and as such don't pose any risk.

I'm guessing you like this hoodie guy more than the others.

Edited June 1, 2021 by dramafreezone

[cleverusername]

51 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

It is possible that you're blowing up one insignificant issue to avoid being vulnerable going forward?

Yes, this is the interpretation I get too. After all he is a multi-millionaire and she often goes after the lawyers, politicians, and that type. Honestly G, I think you are being kinda petty right now and looking for an excuse to dump him, especially if after 1 date. 

God forbid he is himself and doesn't wear a suit and tie to a date but has a great personality and clicks with you on every other level...... If you want to move on, great. But it's not your place to tell this dude how to dress or act after just meeting. Either accept it or move on.

[flitzanu]

19 hours ago, Gaeta said:

If we put the way he was dressed aside yes l'd see him again. My fear is he will show up dressed something like this on our second meeting.

I suspect he did the same with the 2 previous women, l think if l tell him kindly he would learn something useful. 

did you discuss dress code?  

not trying to be harsh Gaeta, you just can't presume anyone knows how to dress to any single thing.  and i'd be wary of implicit expectations on someone you just met, he can't read your mind that you'd hope he dressed differently.  

if you go out again, just mention something about how you are going to dress, "hey i'm going to wear a nice formal evening gown what do you think?"  or "i'm going to wear jeans and a tshirt, what are you thinking of wearing?"  

[Acacia98]

@Gaeta, if this stuff matters to you, then this guy is not for you. Personally, I'd probably give him a second chance. But that's because I am a jeans-and-t-shirt kinda girl. Dressing up really isnt my thing, but I'd do it if the occasion called for it.

I like @poppyfield's suggestion that he's testing you. Lol. It would be hilarious if it turned out to be true. But I'd definitely drop him if that were the case.

Edited June 1, 2021 by Acacia98

[Gaeta]

23 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

 she often goes after the lawyers, politicians, and that type.

What?? You sure you got the right woman? On the contrary, I always go for the under-dog when I date. My ex was an electrician newly immigrant with nothing under his feet. 

[Allupinnit]

It's not like he wasn't "dressed up enough."  It's that he made ZERO effort to look nice.  Who wears a hoodie up over their head during the entire date?  What are you hiding?  Are you about to rob the place?  Is it too cold in here?  Are you about to take a nap?  I'd be so distracted by that!  In fact it's one of those funny stories you tell your girlfriends after it happens.

Why do some posters feel the need to go to extremes in thinking?  "Oh well SO HE DIDN'T WEAR A SUIT AND BUY YOU A FILET, you're being petty!"  Come on - you don't think that's weird to sit in a restaurant for a first meet and have your hoodie up the whole time?  

Edited June 1, 2021 by Allupinnit

[Gaeta]

Just now, Allupinnit said:

It's not like he wasn't "dressed up enough."  It's that he made ZERO effort to look nice.

Thank you!

I have nothing against jeans & tshirt. I wore jeans & tshirt to park meetings as well. 

[cleverusername]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

What?? You sure you got the right woman? On the contrary, I always go for the under-dog when I date. My ex was an electrician newly immigrant with nothing under his feet. 

Maybe not, I could totally be wrong. I don't know, It's hard to keep up here through all the threads what people say. Sorry if I offended

I still think you should give another chance. 1 more, you pick the location so you can set the dress code. Maybe a nice lounge or something. 

[Gaeta]

9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

On the contrary, I always go for the under-dog when I date. My ex was an electrician newly immigrant with nothing under his feet. 

This place is better than therapy!

I just got hit by lightning.

I don't want another 'under-dog'

I don't want another man I'll take by the hand and help be the best he can be and be discarded at the end of that process. 

[Eternal Sunshine]

It seems like he is trying to hide. He is possibly married.

[smackie9]

omg....like seriously, a grown man showing up for a date looking like that? If he was going to work on my car or cut the grass it would be a pass...I'm all about first impressions. What goes through a guy's mind to dress like a slob? maybe he makes good money and is avoiding a gold digger, or he was in disguise because he's got other GFs...didn't want to be recognized. I would have said something. But that's me. Rip in the crotch...gross.

[Acacia98]

30 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Who wears a hoodie up over their head during the entire date?  What are you hiding?  Are you about to rob the place?  Is it too cold in here?  Are you about to take a nap?  I'd be so distracted by that!  In fact it's one of those funny stories you tell your girlfriends after it happens.

I have no idea whether your response was directed partly at my post. But I want to clarify that I don't think its petty or superficial to care about how this guy dressed. Personally, I wouldn't have cared about his outfit, but I would have found his keeping the hood up the whole time odd. The thing is, rather than speculating, I would have asked him about it. Then I would have made a decision about whether to meet him again based on his answer. 

It does matter to Gaeta, so she is justified in saying dating this guy isnt for her.

Edited June 1, 2021 by Acacia98

[Allupinnit]

@Acacia98 - no, it wasn't directed at you.

[Foxhall]

Perhaps he has alopecia and is self conscious over it.

[elaine567]

6 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

Perhaps he has alopecia and is self conscious over it.

He shaves his head for I guess simple baldness.

[lana-banana]

Given that you know he's capable of dressing nicely (as you saw on his profile), and you liked him and found him quite gentlemanly otherwise, I say he deserves a pass. For all you know he had a great suit picked out and suddenly had to clean up an unfortunate mustard stain or something. If it's been several dates and he still dresses like he came from the gym then maybe you have something to worry about, but I'd let this go.

[poppyfields]

Quote:  >>Who wears a hoodie up over their head during the entire date? 

Rock musicians and other creative artists dress that way. 

Personally, I go by his overall presence, not how he dresses.

Some men have a strong masculine presence, others don't, regardless of what he wears.

Personally if I were drawn to him, felt energy/chemistry with him, I wouldn't give a rat's rear end as long as he was clean and appeared to have good hygiene.  But then again, I am drawn to artistic types so perhaps that's why.  I also find shaved heads attractive..

But if how a man dresses is important to you Gaeta, if you attach meaning to it which is certainly your right, then next him, there is no wrong or right as far as I am concerned.

Sounds like you're having fun dating lots of men anyway, so no sense in forcing something if you're not feeling it.

 

Edited June 1, 2021 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

Was he on his way to the Grammys?

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Was he on his way to the Grammys?

Haha very funny.. 

 

[Gaeta]

Gosh, he just asked me if I am interested in him or I was disappointed when I met him and the magic is gone.

I wanna crawl in a hole somewhere. 

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I wanna crawl in a hole somewhere. 

Why??  This isn't your fault.  I'm sure prior to the date, you carefully picked out your outfit so that you would make a nice first impression.  Clearly, he did not. I don't know why, but (at the very least) he should show up for the date presentable (for his age). - not dressed like a 19 year old casing a liquor store.

Personally, if I were meeting someone for the first time for a first date (at the very least) I would wear dress pants and a dress shirt, no shorts nor T-shirts and definitely not a hoodie. If it were a cold weather (outside), I'd have the appropriate coat to wear to the destination, but check it, when I got inside.

"You never get a second chance to make a good first impression." - Will Rogers

 

[Gaeta]

I have no clue how l went from saying l'm not feeling a spark to accepting a date for Friday evening!! 

He also sent me a picture and l told him he looked very handsome in that shirt!! (Hint hint)

[jspice]

12 hours ago, Gaeta said:

 

I woke up this morning feeling this is not for me. I don't need another man-project. 

This. 
 

You sound like a very accomplished woman and you need a man who is on your level. It’s great that you take people at face value and give the benefit of the doubt but no on this.