Alpacalia Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: He was very nervous meeting and hoped he would not disappoint me. He drive 50km to meet me and brought roses, l think he was motivated but maybe clueless? The 2 previous women that met him told him he was not what they expected and he didn't ask what they meant by that. Now l know what they meant. The way you initially described it sounds like he showed up for the first date scruffy. If it's just a difference in taste in attire, then that's completely different. What exactly about it has put you off?
Ami1uwant Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: He was very nervous meeting and hoped he would not disappoint me. He drive 50km to meet me and brought roses, l think he was motivated but maybe clueless? The 2 previous women that met him told him he was not what they expected and he didn't ask what they meant by that. Now l know what they meant. He sounds like he’s clueless. Linus with hus hat. did you ask him why he appears different from profile pics?
Weezy1973 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, introverted1 said: Maybe he's just clueless? More likely he was just wearing what he wanted. He might not care about clothes at all. Or perhaps like most of us he has a range of different clothes and this is just what he felt like wearing. Men don’t typically obsess about what they’re going to wear. Again if it’s important the @Gaeta that a man she dates dress a certain way, that’s perfectly fine. Then date a different man. Don’t tell this guy he’s doing anything wrong because he’s not. Let him find a woman that doesn’t mind the “scruffy hoodie” look. Edited June 1, 2021 by Weezy1973 2
Not So Sad II Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 He sat with his hood over his head for 2 hours? What is he, a teenager? Its a bit weird and off putting. What if you went somewhere that security told him to pull his hood down? I'd also be wondering if he was trying not to be recognised/photographed. ie is he definitely single. The hood up, the completely different clothes from his photos, all suggest that. 4
Blind-Sided Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, Alpaca said: Maybe he was coming from somewhere right before the date? Maybe from work? 13 hours ago, Gaeta said: No it was his day off today. Well... I wear suits, and jackets while working... and when I'm at home, it's T's, and jeans. And yes... I have a hoodie my mother bought me a few years back, and it's my "Go to" when I just need something quick and it's a little chilly out. (funny, my GF was wearing it yesterday while I was mowing the grass. she stat outside so she could "Be close to me". I thought that was sweet) AND... since I really don't have hair... a ball cap is normally on my head. So there is that possibility. AND... the kind of date would dictate what I was wearing. A quick morning meet-up for coffee would have me wearing my normal "At home" clothes. A lunch date would probably get me a little cleaner, and a dinner and/or drinks would make me dress appropriately for the location. Anyway... did you ask why the hoodie? Maybe he's tired of OLD, and is using it to weed out the girls who a superficial? If he was a nice guy, ask him out for a dinner and or cocktail date... and see if he dresses appropriate for the local. With that said... I wouldn't sit with my hood up, or with a hat on if it wasn't an outside thing. (and chilly) Edited June 1, 2021 by Blind-Sided
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 10 hours ago, Alpaca said: What exactly about it has put you off? It was not just casual dressing, I'd be ok with that, his clothes were old, washed out, out of shape. That's how they appeared to me. Like someone said maybe they were made to appear like that.
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 9 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: did you ask him why he appears different from profile pics? No, I didn't think about that. I was too hypnotized by the situation lol 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 9 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: Then date a different man. Don’t tell this guy he’s doing anything wrong because he’s not. Let him find a woman that doesn’t mind the “scruffy hoodie” look. That situation reminds me of a female friend of mine that was a bit fed up with online dating and once she showed up at a first meeting in her old runnning shoes. On her profile she's all made up and professional, this is a woman that works in bank management so she's made up every day of the week. After the date the man called her and said he was disappointed at her appearance as he thought he was going to meet a classy lady like in her pictures. She apologized, explain she had been in a bit of a rut with this online dating and offered take 2 of this first meeting. They met again, they dated for quite a bit after that.
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said: AND... since I really don't have hair... a ball cap is normally on my head. So there is that possibility. AND... the kind of date would dictate what I was wearing. A quick morning meet-up for coffee would have me wearing my normal "At home" clothes. With that said... I wouldn't sit with my hood up, or with a hat on if it wasn't an outside thing. (and chilly) He has a shaven head....that I didn't get to see. The baseball cap on its own would have been ok but the hood over the baseball cap, all I saw were his eyes to his chin. It might have been chilly for a bald head but he could have taken it down for a while at least to introduce himself. I don't think he's screening women. After our date he sent me an audio of him signing me a song lol and no, he's not a good signer. I woke up this morning feeling this is not for me. I don't need another man-project. Edited June 1, 2021 by Gaeta 5
cleverusername Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 Who cares? If the energy was good, he owns suits and nice clothes, why does it matter what he wore to the date? This guy owes you nothing and it's not your place to try and style him. He knew what he was doing when he chose the clothes, either accept it or move on. It sounds like you're just embarrassed of this guy. Next.
SumGuy Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: It was not just casual dressing, I'd be ok with that, his clothes were old, washed out, out of shape. That's how they appeared to me. Like someone said maybe they were made to appear like that. It is a thing, a form of fashion. Like $200 dollar jeans that look like the pair I used to wear for farm work...except if more rips than my farm jeans. If I only knew then... Generally though to pull it off well you need to put a good body into it. The baseball cap is too depending what is on it, and the ratty condition is an indicator this may be a form of fashion. He may be a bit behind the times if it is a ratty trucker hat, that is an "old" fashion thing. Now...if his hat was a ratty old aviation fuel company hat. I find the intentionally distressed form of fashion (especially when it needs to be done intentionally and not through real wear) to be off putting...from the stylistic sense and inherent appropriation of it, barring of course if this is genuine and curated from effort and not just bought from a store. On a positive note, I guess could compare it to those who like the country French distressed furniture style, not my thing but to each their own. I'll second though if you have interest try a date/meet where he would dress more like his pictures to align with the venue. Now if he shows up at a fancy restaurant in old, washed out, out of shape clothes he likely clueless or an internet millionaire
SumGuy Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: ....I woke up this morning feeling this is not for me. I don't need another man-project. Go with that I'd say. No one needs another project and few want to be one. 2
Ami1uwant Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: He has a shaven head....that I didn't get to see. The baseball cap on its own would have been ok but the hood over the baseball cap, all I saw were his eyes to his chin. It might have been chilly for a bald head but he could have taken it down for a while at least to introduce himself. I don't think he's screening women. After our date he sent me an audio of him signing me a song lol and no, he's not a good signer. I woke up this morning feeling this is not for me. I don't need another man-project. Sign sign everywhere a sign blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Allupinnit Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 I'm with you, @Gaeta I'd be sorely put off. Clearly he knows how to dress through his photos but it reminds me of that detergent commercial where the guys shows up in the stretched out V-neck on the date lol - you only get one chance to make that first impression. And if he's PAYING to look sloppy like a 20-something, I'd wager he lacks maturity. The hoodie thing I have no explanation for. AWKWARD. As far as men pushing to meet at night "to allow the romance to develop" OMG - that is just code for "I hope we get tipsy and I get laid." I'm with you @poppyfields, if I was single and dating again I would do things completely differently. Sex would be the furthest thing from my mind when meeting a new man for the first time. And I don't need alcohol clouding my judgement when sussing out whether a man is quality or not. A few things I found to be true with OLD. - if he's wearing a cap in all of his photos he's probably bald -if he's not smiling in his photos he probably has bad teeth -all the photos too far away/can't see his face/wearing shades in all of the pics - he's not nearly as attractive as you're thinking he might be -Shirtless bathroom photos - need I say more? I am also glad you are back out there. But I don't have a lot of faith in OLD. 4
Alpacalia Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: It was not just casual dressing, I'd be ok with that, his clothes were old, washed out, out of shape. That's how they appeared to me. Like someone said maybe they were made to appear like that. Did he have ring around the collar too?
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 1 minute ago, Alpaca said: Did he have ring around the collar too? Haha did not notice. I did check quickly for stains that would indicate old age and not fashion faux pas. No stains.
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 He's been texting me since early. I think l will tell him l would have liked to see more of his pretty face yesterday....it's not a lie, he has a beautiful face & smile.
elaine567 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 Do you think he may be testing you? He is actually a multi multi millionaire and wants to weed out the gold diggers... The wearing of the hoodie is weird but not if he is hiding for some reason... 2
cleverusername Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 2 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Do you think he may be testing you? He is actually a multi multi millionaire and wants to weed out the gold diggers... The wearing of the hoodie is weird but not if he is hiding for some reason... Probably nervous and sweats like crazy, hard to sweat through a dark hoodie
Allupinnit Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 And here we go making excuses already for this guy... I mean come on who wears their hoodie up the whole time on a DATE? That's weird! 5
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 2 minutes ago, elaine567 said: He is actually a multi multi millionaire and wants to weed out the gold diggers... I don't want to detail his personal life on here but yes, he has/had money in his country of origine.
Calmandfocused Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 Gaeta my sense is that you should give this guy another date. Clearly there is something about him that you like. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t ....
introverted1 Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 51 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Do you think he may be testing you? He is actually a multi multi millionaire and wants to weed out the gold diggers... The wearing of the hoodie is weird but not if he is hiding for some reason... Maybe he's in the witness protection program! 1
dramafreezone Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 55 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I don't want to detail his personal life on here but yes, he has/had money in his country of origine. It is possible that you're blowing up one insignificant issue to avoid being vulnerable going forward? 2
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2021 Author Posted June 1, 2021 10 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: It is possible that you're blowing up one insignificant issue to avoid being vulnerable going forward? I have met other men and gone on 2-3 dates with same man and did not feel that way.
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