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Lovely date, weird ending. do I let him know I had a good time? Does this sound bad?

TheBlingRing14

By TheBlingRing14
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SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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12 minutes ago, TheBlingRing14 said:

I came up with a couple of options, please let me know what you think works best:

(1) "Hey, John Doe, I should have told you last night, but I had a really nice time. I really like learning about those things that make you tick."

(2) "Hey John Doe, I think I forgot, but just wanted to thank you for having me yesterday. That back room was pretty incredible, and so were you." (Is this just really lame?)

(3) "Hey John Doe, thanks for a great time yesterday. Sorry we didn't get to go to that place in Hogwarts, but we'll have to go there sometime. You drive, I'll buy." 

(4) "Hey John Doe, thanks for yesterday, especially showing me around your garage and woodshop. Your DIY skills are insane. It was really fun to check out, amongst other things ;)"

Added numbers.

I personally like 2 and 4 the best.  I don't think calling a man incredible is ever lame...especially when it is true :)  I tend to think men are far more vain than women, we just pretend not to be.

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TheBlingRing14 Established Member

TheBlingRing14

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38 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Added numbers.

I personally like 2 and 4 the best.  I don't think calling a man incredible is ever lame...especially when it is true :)  I tend to think men are far more vain than women, we just pretend not to be.

I decided on #2. I'll let you know the results. 

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Posted
21 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

I'm not convinced you did anything wrong ... well not true.

When you were walking out and you wanted him to be next to you, ASK the dang man to get next to you. Quit all the game playing. If a relationship can't withstand you wanting to be walked to your car (and you speaking out) then the relationship ain't going nowhere in the first place.

He should have walked you to the car ... except you might have sent signals that you really didn't want that in the first place.

You sound like you're lost in strategy. If you want food, say yes. If you don't say no ... or don't say no. The relationship won't rise and fall on your strategizing on these matters.

You are right to be alarmed by his sudden failure to ask if you got home safely--especially after sex. That is a legit worry. In fact, there is a chance that something went wrong with the sex for him, and so he withdrew, emotionally withdrew, or felt somehow disconnected from you, after the sex. Asking if you wanted food like that, yes, that is often a move towards someone leaving. 

I don't know ... really sounds to me that you guys just don't have communication chemistry ... things rarely go well if that's the case. 

This is NOT yours to fix. In fact, thinking this is all  yours to fix is part of the problem here. 

 

Agree 100% with the bolded.  This is more overthinking than anything.  OP, instead of doing lengthy supposition analysis...try using your words and ask questions, get clarification.  

Also maybe he did want you to leave. There isn't anything wrong with that---such as perhaps he had other stuff to do!  He can BOTH have had a great time with you AND have other things that need to happen that day.  

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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16 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Added numbers.

I personally like 2 and 4 the best.  I don't think calling a man incredible is ever lame...especially when it is true :)  I tend to think men are far more vain than women, we just pretend not to be.

lol this is pretty true. :) They definitely love an ego stroke!

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TheBlingRing14 Established Member

TheBlingRing14

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21 hours ago, TheBlingRing14 said:

I decided on #2. I'll let you know the results. 

So, here was his response: get ready for this. It's a doozy.   "Thanks" 

😄

No "I had a nice time too." No "You were pretty incredible yourself" But, honestly....it's okay. The purpose of my message to him was to clear things up from Sunday, and to let him know I had a nice time. I did that. Now he knows. 

But, we did talk a bit longer. He sent me a picture from his woodshop of a project that he has been working on. We talked and joked a bit about some tools. It felt very natural and normal. So, I don't feel like there is any awkardness or anything to make up for from the other day. But...it's definitely a lesson learned. 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, TheBlingRing14 said:

So, here was his response: get ready for this. It's a doozy.   "Thanks" 

😄

No "I had a nice time too." No "You were pretty incredible yourself" But, honestly....it's okay. The purpose of my message to him was to clear things up from Sunday, and to let him know I had a nice time. I did that. Now he knows. 

But, we did talk a bit longer. He sent me a picture from his woodshop of a project that he has been working on. We talked and joked a bit about some tools. It felt very natural and normal. So, I don't feel like there is any awkardness or anything to make up for from the other day. But...it's definitely a lesson learned. 

Eek

 

I'm guessing this is a shift from how he communicated prior to that day? 

 

Yeah, when you mentioned he didn't walk you out and didn't text you promptly when you left like he usually does, I had a feeling something changed for him and it wasn't necessarily something you did 

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Posted

I think you need to expand of the "lesson learned"...

Just to be real: you have a tendency to overthink so the "lesson learned" could potentially be something that takes you further and further down that bad overthinking rabbit hole. 

If you had the situation or a very similar situation to 'do over', what would YOU do? (keeping in mind that you cannot control other people's reactions)

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted (edited)

Sorry to say, his lame response is bad news. Sounds like he's pulling away and the best step in response (for your sanity and for any chance of increasing his interest) is to pull back yourself. And of course sanity is the most important reason. 

Get on with the rest of your life. 

Edited by Lotsgoingon
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TheBlingRing14 Established Member

TheBlingRing14

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3 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

I think you need to expand of the "lesson learned"...

Just to be real: you have a tendency to overthink so the "lesson learned" could potentially be something that takes you further and further down that bad overthinking rabbit hole. 

If you had the situation or a very similar situation to 'do over', what would YOU do? (keeping in mind that you cannot control other people's reactions)

I would have said yes to food and gone to have dinner with him. (Again, I thought he was offering a snack for the road). Instead of kissing him with hopes for a round 2, I would have have just let him relaxed and then gone straight into talking with him. I would have asked him if he wanted company in the shower. 

I would have turned around at the door and hugged him and kissed him goodbye. 

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Amanda92 Established Member

Amanda92

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Posted

So now try to be nicer and don't expect that after that he will tell you how nice time he had if you didn't hug him goodbye.

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