happyrosey Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I am 25, smart, attractive, and tonnes of fun. I love everything about my life and am a very happy, social person. However I have never had a boyfriend. I know that part of the reason is that I am extremely picky - I'd rather never have a boyfriend than 'settle'. I meet plenty of guys and get asked out a lot, but rarely meet anyone I 'spark' with. But these days, even if I spark with them, I can barely even get past that initial meeting without completely scaring them off. I have a very dry sense of humour. It's so dark (especially when I am drinking, which I love to do, I'm Aussie) that I think a lot of people who don't know me might think that the stuff I say is serious, when I am just joking. I've been told I am "an angry young woman" even when I am one of the most light-hearted people I know. I don't take anything seriously, but when I'm out I find it funny to make odd comments. My friends think I'm hilarious, but a lot of guys are probably turned off straight away. When I meet a guy who "gets" me, we immediately connect. But I find it hard to turn the hardness 'off'. They usually end up getting frustrated, not being able to get a straight answer out of me, and I never hear from them again. I feel like I am tough on the outside and testing them, that if they stay long enough they will eventually see the marshmallow inside. But no one has stayed around that long. I just can't be nice and sweet and normal with a stranger, I feel weak and vulnerable. I had my heart broken badly about two years ago and I am still afraid of letting anyone in. But I am sick of being the tough single chick! Any advice?
TnT Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Hey girl, You sound just like me...lol, aussie and all!!! I get where u r coming from, and i guess i use to be like u, i was always joking around and being sarcastic in a joking manner, but guys dont like it, as much as my girl friends would find it so funny. Anyhow, i guess it took a while to realise what i was doing, but eventually i stopped, or cut back i guess. If u want to talk about this more, just message me or something.
questionsforyall Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I had a girl tell me I was like you once, I duno what I can say for advice because I still don't feel comfortable being a "marshmellow" to people that I don't know either. I guess with everything it comes with time and effort? if not try visualizing yourself turning into the marshmellow man in ghostbusters whenever you feel like your trying to be tough.
hooghie Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 If that is who you are then that is who you are. You will find someone who appreciates it someday. Perhaps a guy who gets to know you through friendship. The only thing I can suggest is when you meet someone you are interested try and do more listening than talking. If you choose to speak, try and thing before you speak. I wonder if YOUR fear makes you act that way EVEN MORE than you would around your friends.
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