Uruktopi Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 2 hours ago, NeurodivergentMe said: My ex partner told me that of all his significant others he loved me the least. Beat that lol. I´ll quote myself if you don´t mind On 5/30/2021 at 12:25 PM, Uruktopi said: The worst was when my then wife and subsequently Ex told me that in all those decades and after three daughters that she never felt in love with me. Was, of course, an excercise of honesty. Not mean, just late. And the worst was not the new, was that based in years of consistent facts, I should have known as certain what already suspected. Not so far from yours....... Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 17 hours ago, mortensorchid said: The Big Rejection was a rejection I had about 6/7 years ago. I had a crush on someone and he rejected me. Long story short, I didn't approach things the right way and once he rejected me I walked away and never spoke a word to him ever again. But for reasons I still am not sure of (my shrink and I have been working on this still), that was a major turning point moment for me. I lost all my self worth, ever since then there has been a black cloud over me saying "no one wants you". Understood. It was a the "Big Rejection" not because of the word choice, but because of how it made you feel personally. I can somewhat relate. When I was younger and far less resilient when it came to rejection, I had to work up the courage to ask a woman out. I eventually asked out a woman I thought had some interest in me... in public. She started laughing, followed by all of her nearby friends a few seconds later. It took a very long time before I asked out another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 9 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said: Oh, most definitely. I run in to them all the time. It really truly is about an 'experience' for them. Good enough to taste, not to bring home. I got the "I could never bring you home" line a few times myself. There was also the "we could never have children if we stayed together" line. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 That Big Rejection made me cry for days afterwards. And like I said, the black cloud is over me and is not moving. Why? I don't know, it just is. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 An ex once referred to my pretty standard black heeled lace up boots as hooker boots and that I couldn't possibly wear them to visit his mother... And suggested I go buy new shoes on the spot. I was beside myself. Not because it made me feel bad about myself, but because it made me realise what he must have thought of me and my style, because those boots are just regular lblack boots. We did not last very long after that... Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 3 hours ago, ASG said: An ex once referred to my pretty standard black heeled lace up boots as hooker boots and that I couldn't possibly wear them to visit his mother.. This says so much about his mother. I bet his father either gets a once-a-year Christmas bang with the lights off, during which Mother keeps very still so as to not make noise or mess, or he gets none at all and sneaks into the local brothel once a month wearing a hat and dark glasses. Link to post Share on other sites
Art.at.Heart Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 This wasn't exactly said to me but an ex once sent me a text message conversation she was having with another friend about how she wanted to swap me out for one of my best friends for a one night stand. She was somehow surprised that I didn't find it funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger10 Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 My bf of 7 yrs told me that I shouldn't be involved with my inlaws( in so many words). His reply to a crisis in the family was" I'm not interested in his or her issue's,if you want to own it and be a part of it that's on you. I have no time for that families silliness " My reply was "WOW". He called and I told him I don't like his condescending attitude. We had words and upon hanging up he didn't even say goodbye and then went silent. This morning he is asking if we are going to do xyz. I said I don't think so. I'm not in the mood to see him today after his bs yesterday. I totally need to set some boundaries! Link to post Share on other sites
ThereSheGoes Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 2 hours ago, Ginger15 said: My bf of 7 yrs told me that I shouldn't be involved with my inlaws( in so many words). His reply to a crisis in the family was" I'm not interested in his or her issue's,if you want to own it and be a part of it that's on you. I have no time for that families silliness " My reply was "WOW". He called and I told him I don't like his condescending attitude. We had words and upon hanging up he didn't even say goodbye and then went silent. This morning he is asking if we are going to do xyz. I said I don't think so. I'm not in the mood to see him today after his bs yesterday. I totally need to set some boundaries! So he was upset that you wanted to be apart of the Family crisis, because he wasn't. And then you got upset, that he didn't want you to be apart of it, and because he said so rudely? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 On 6/1/2021 at 6:29 AM, mortensorchid said: That Big Rejection made me cry for days afterwards. And like I said, the black cloud is over me and is not moving. Why? I don't know, it just is. Maybe triggered something from childhood? Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 Hmmm....there were so many, but the one that popped first into my head was when he told me that it was my fault his cancer advanced to stage IV. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeanCounter Posted June 2, 2021 Author Share Posted June 2, 2021 54 minutes ago, vla1120 said: Hmmm....there were so many, but the one that popped first into my head was when he told me that it was my fault his cancer advanced to stage IV. What the F! That's just crazy. Unless you held an open microwave up to him, I think it's safe to say he was just projecting his feelings onto you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snow_Queen Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 My ex-husband said a lot of nasty things to me. The absolute worst was telling me that I was nothing and would always be nothing because I’d never amount to anything. He repeated it over and over until I broke down into a stream of tears. This was all because I was stressed over a college course. He felt my stress level indicated I was weak. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 hmmm I've never had a man I was seeing say something mean to me. Of course I've heard things I didn't like but they weren't mean really. Weird.... Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird2 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 It was when I was a teen. I had zero self esteem, so of course I fell for the first jackass who paid me any attention. He became physically abusive, and he would say 'if you didn't make me so mad, I wouldn't do this. It's your fault ( not in those exact words, but the meaning was clear. Being a dumb kid, I believed him and thought that if was was just nicer, prettier, tried harder, he'd be kind and loving again. Foolish of me, but it was what it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted June 17, 2021 Share Posted June 17, 2021 Not really a partner, but the closest I came to that kind of thing as a student. “I could take you out to dinner, but I couldn’t take you to meet my parents.” (Apparently I was too “politically radical” to introduce to wealthy white businessfolk. ) It did introduce me to the construct “champagne socialist”. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkido Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 "You look awful" "you are good for nothing" And the thing is he says this to me when some external event has annoyed him. After some time, he comes and apologizes with an innocent smile. I am interested to hear men's point of view. Is this a normal thing to do? Or am I just in a toxic relationship? Because these kind of words can hurt a lot the moment they are said. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 11 minutes ago, Tinkido said: "You look awful" "you are good for nothing" And the thing is he says this to me when some external event has annoyed him. After some time, he comes and apologizes with an innocent smile. I am interested to hear men's point of view. Is this a normal thing to do? Or am I just in a toxic relationship? Because these kind of words can hurt a lot the moment they are said. Oh hell, I'd dump a guy who did this. No this is not normal or OK. I've just responded to your other post about his insults about your hair and I think it would be wise if you added this information to that post so that other posters can get a clearer picture of what's going on. We can support you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkido Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: Oh hell, I'd dump a guy who did this. No this is not normal or OK. I've just responded to your other post about his insults about your hair and I think it would be wise if you added this information to that post so that other posters can get a clearer picture of what's going on. We can support you. Thank you! Sometimes, I do decide to forget all the bad things that are said to me and concentrate more on the good ones. I will do add this to my post as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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