Electrogrrl Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 So this is all totally new to me and happened by complete accident. I met this wonderful guy who lives in Paris through myspace. We just started off casually emailing as we seemed to have a lot in common (just friendly emails). Then one evening by chance, he instant messaged me and we ended up having a really great 4 hour conversation online. We talked the next day and the day after, all of our conversations totally great and very long (4+ hours long) and it was very obvious he was into me and I was definitely into him:love: . He actually had no qualms about telling me how he felt about me. This started a little over a month ago, we talk nearly every day too, and he's admitted to me that his feelings have grown pretty quickly and are quite strong. Now I was supposed to go to Paris (as I plan to attempt to move there--this decision was made prior to meeting this guy) for a couple of weeks in November to check out prospective companies and meet him, but that trip kinda fell apart as he got asked to do a month long tour of China (we are both DJs) and I now have to make up an important class for school during part of the time I was to be in France. We're both pretty disappointed about this but have decided to be patient in waiting to meet one another. But he has hinted at wanting to come visit me in NYC, even asking if I would be okay with him selling off some of his really valuable old records to get the money to do so (I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that though, so I think I might've answered with something that made him think I didn't want him to do that--sometimes communicating via internet can be confusing). I want him to come see me but I don't know if I necessarily want to come out and say it--if that makes sense...I guess I am still awe of this whole thing--he really is the perfect guy for me (we're so much alike it's scary and we have so much fun just talking to one another) that I don't want to do anything to in haste. I guess my question is how long is long enough to wait to meet one another?? I don't want to rush things but I am starting to become impatient! Also, anyone else involved in a LDR with someone in another country, I would love to hear from you =)
Skeered Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I talked to my LDR for 5 months before meeting him in person...he lived in FL and I'm in AZ. We met by total accident as well since we weren't even on a dating forum or anything but we are both into motorcycle's and that was the forum we were on. I met him in April (in person) and everything went incredible, better than either of us had expected and he moved from FL to AZ in August. So ya I guess things are still going extremly well..hee hee.. Hope that helps.
noitoved Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 We met in person about a month after we met online. Two years later, we're engaged to be married. Hope that helps you and good luck! (I don't suggest you wait too long - I think it's better to see how your relationship develops in person/in real life.)
kgal Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 We met in person after a year of talking online. We just couldn't get the timing right.. but we met and I'm so glad we did.
Hunnytree Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 The only thing that really threw me in your post was the part about him asking YOU how you felt about him selling off some valuable old records to get the money to come and see you. What would be his reason for asking you that? It made no sense to me. If he wants to come see you, then why concern YOU with the machinations he must pursue to do that? He wasn't intimating he would take money from you to help pay for his transportation instead, was he? I just felt a red flag go up on that one, k?
JS17 Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 What would be his reason for asking you that? It made no sense to me. If he wants to come see you, then why concern YOU with the machinations he must pursue to do that? He wasn't intimating he would take money from you to help pay for his transportation instead, was he? I just felt a red flag go up on that one, k? While yes, it may feel funny that he said something like that I do feel there was a reason. They are both DJs so selling old records will affect their livelihood. That is one reason. I think the second reason may hold more water. We don't know the full story here but clearly there is a sacrifice needed to have a visit. He not only wants her to know that he thinks she is worth the sacrifice but he also needs to know the logistics, if she will be going to Paris in a short period of time then it would be smarter not to sell the records to fly to NYC. Also sounds like it was an excuse to test the waters to see if she wants him to visit her.
slubberdegullion Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 I've got a small handful of online friends that I've had for over 5 years, and we haven't met yet. Living at opposite ends of the continent has a lot to do with hit.
Author Electrogrrl Posted October 18, 2005 Author Posted October 18, 2005 While yes, it may feel funny that he said something like that I do feel there was a reason. They are both DJs so selling old records will affect their livelihood. That is one reason. I think the second reason may hold more water. We don't know the full story here but clearly there is a sacrifice needed to have a visit. He not only wants her to know that he thinks she is worth the sacrifice but he also needs to know the logistics, if she will be going to Paris in a short period of time then it would be smarter not to sell the records to fly to NYC. Also sounds like it was an excuse to test the waters to see if she wants him to visit her. Yes, I think he was testing the water as well, JS17 and you're also spot on with the whole vinyl/livlihood/DJ thing too =) This was the second time he has brought up the subject of coming out to NY to visit me. In this conversation we had happened to be talking about the value of old records and he mentioned how surprised he was that some records could be sold for over 1000 euros. I told him I would never sell any of my vinyl and he said he would do it if it was for someone that he loved. That he had no problem doing it, if it were for that purpose. Then he asked if I would mind if he sold a couple of his to come and visit me. Was that a hint of some kind or what?? Too bad I always say stuff to thwart him of his plans
Jtizzle Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Last yr i had met a guy online in a yahoo chatroom..wasnt really lookin for a relationship and he was just getting out of one,etc..we met in late august i think..chatted and phone called each other for two or three months..he asked me to b his gf around the end of oct...he did sumthing crazy for me to show his love unconditionally, and that unconditional love led us to our first i love u's in november...and our first "date" as a couple was christmas day:love: ..so we waited a good four months before we physically met..but far as my other friends online and whanot..ive never met any of them personally..but i have a friend thats in the army that i used to adore so much, and i still kinda do now:o , we've known each other for about a year now..and im thinkin that wen he gets back to tha states from iraq,we'll meet up:love:
JS17 Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Too bad I always say stuff to thwart him of his plans Jeez, just meet him already, live life, take a chance....no risk, no reward
StacyRose Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 We met in a Math help board in 2001. He e-mailed me a few real long messaegs with equations and his life story. His long and intense e-mails were a nuisance so I ignored them. THen, a few months later, I just woke up and thought about one of his e-mails and missed him.. so I wrote him back to see if he was angry that it took me so long to reply. He wrote right back, and we chatted (as friends) for around 8 months.. then we met in 2002 and have been dating LD eversince! So, it took around 8 months of chatting as friends. I would never "start" dating before meeting..while we were just friends, we were both seeing other people. It only got serious once we finally met.
RecordProducer Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 But he has hinted at wanting to come visit me in NYC, even asking if I would be okay with him selling off some of his really valuable old records to get the money to do so (I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that though Wait until he invites you in Paris or asks you to meet you in person anywhere. Tell him that if he wants to come to NYC, you would love to meet him there. He might be waiting for your offer to pay for 50% of his ticket and use you as a free hotel/restaurant while visiting NYC. I don't want to sound negative so ask him if he would be okay with you visiting Paris instead. Paris is a wonderful city and if you don't click at least you'll see Paris. he really is the perfect guy for me You can't possibly know this until you meet him in person despite of the voice/webcam long conversations every day. Trust me on this! I'm in my 2nd LDR and I advise you to arrange a trip that is no longer than 7-10 days.
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