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For the men, am I wrong in thinking that loneliness is the reason you're perpetually single?

Mobilehotspotuser

By Mobilehotspotuser
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Mobilehotspotuser New Member

Mobilehotspotuser

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As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

I'm a woman.  While I agree with you, I don't know what that has to do with loneliness.  I always found it easier to find a date IRL.  On line I think everybody is pickier but in person I'd be more inclined to view somebody more favorably, or as I put it -- see them through my heart not just my eyes -- if I was enjoying talking to them  Further, I agree with you that lonely people of both genders would do well to put themselves out there in the real world to interact with actual human beings face to face & not just with a device in their hands.  

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I see plenty of short men with girlfriends. I myself dated a man of 5'6'' and what he lacked in height he had in muscles so he had nothing to envy to other men. AND no, he did not have a pretty face so he didn't fall in the category 'handsome'. So if you are short and ugly I recommand you hit the gym. 

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

So you're saying social proof and preselection matter in dating?  That's nothing groundbreaking here.

Couple of misconceptions here though; everyone that leads a more solitary life is not "lonely."  That exists when that person wants to be around more people and is deprived of that for some reason.

Next, there are plenty of tall guys that are lonely.  Height does not confer social skills, or likeability, or dateworthiness.  It is one thing that plays in a guy's favor.

Overall premise is not without merit, but is oversimplified and doesn't account for the nuances and complexities of real life.   You don't think people that struggle in social situations know that if they got better at it their dating prospects would likely improve?

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ItsTheDay Established Member

ItsTheDay

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

I'm in the same boat. I'm 5'6", my ex of almost 8 years was 5'5" but her and I did meet online 8 years ago, it was way different before. She knew I was short but gave me a chance, she even told me she usually doesn't date short guys or guys older than her, I'm 3 years older than her. 

But yeah, I agree with you. Female standards are way too high these days. 

I also wouldn't say I'm average. I'm 5'6" 180lbs with about 16 to 18% body fat. 

Edited by ItsTheDay
cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

Posted
Posted

No but loneliness is a reason people end up in perpetually bad relationships. You shouldn't be looking to bring another person into your life, or put yourself into someone else's, unless you're comfortable being alone. If you're not, its going to manifest and end up badly. 

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norealusername Established Member

norealusername

Posted
Posted

I'm 5'8",  not ugly and somewhat fit. Online dating is brutal for me because of my height.

ItsTheDay Established Member

ItsTheDay

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, norealusername said:

I'm 5'8",  not ugly and somewhat fit. Online dating is brutal for me because of my height.

Are you kidding me? I wouldn't say 5'8 is short. That's like the standard height of a guy. 

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LoopyLoop99 Established Member

LoopyLoop99

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

This is such nonsense.

Honestly, I rarely see young couples where the guy is ugly and the girlfriend is hot. It's actually quite rare. Most couples are looks matched.

The only times I see an ugly guy with a hot girlfriend is when they are much older/married and in that situation they are together because the man has resources, money, house etc. e.g. he is  beta provider. 

  • Like 1
chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted (edited)

Well really , unless you know them you can't have any real idea why they're together , she might just love him , full stop.

Anyway to op , funny but one of the happiest most loving couple l see around he's l dunno , in ft maybe 5,6 , she's a bit shorter. His way over weight big belly and she's well on her way too , talking 40s l'd say. Just saw them again today , so cute these two . Always chatting and giggling away as the walk along , arm round each other . Saw them in the supe one day doing their shopping l was near them and they were so funny , very cute. Blab blab blab , little jokes , cackling away .

At any rate , you might think they call all the shots on date sites but that's an allusion most of them have been on them for yrs all sorts of crap and still no luck. Most of the single women here have been on them for yrs too. At the end of the day a good relationship is hard for anyone to find , just read all the stories even here at ls, and height man. See 100s of couples where he's short both short or fat or anything and everything in between.

Edited by chillii
Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Agree. They're on Reddit and incels all day.

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LoopyLoop99 Established Member

LoopyLoop99

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Agree. They're on Reddit and incels all day.

but if they were tall good looking and social they would have a social group in the first place.

Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

Posted
Posted

I don't hold any grudge towards average guys with hot girlfriends. I just would prefer it if I had similar fortunes in dating. I mean, I'm sure the guys have wonderful personalities. But so do I! :D

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

Posted
Posted (edited)

There are short men who get lots of women. Heck, TOM CRUISE is short as was Michael J Fox. Our own @5x5 is apparently one and has quite the sex life.

Make yourself as attractive as possible. Develop an air of confidence, independence, and energy/ambition with just a touch of "bad boy". Many women are sensitive to these things. Lower your standards slightly to appreciate women who may not look like beauty queens but can really appreciate having a "great guy" in their life.

This is all easier said than done, but IF you can pull it off you go from "perpetual loneliness" to "perpetual options" which is, all other things being equal, a much better place to be.

Edited by mark clemson
SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

That's easy.  In my direct expereince you are wrong.   

Every man I know who entered the dating market in the last 7 years (almost all via divorce) found success in OLD.   Heck in many case I am incredibly surprised, like I like the guy and he is fun but dang he found a woman far more attractive than him (in the shallow exterior sense).

All depends on the app and if she is OK with your height in real life why would in be a problem on an app?

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

I don't know how many times I have said this...online dating is brutal for everyone, short or tall, old or young. Let it go. If you see better opportunity by meeting irl, then figure it out and do it.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

I don't know how many times I have said this...online dating is brutal for everyone, short or tall, old or young. Let it go. 

So true.  I never have problems meeting people IRL.  OLD was rough. . .it was like getting multiple rejections all day every day.  Not for the faint of heart.  That is why these apps need to be on 1 tool / place where you look for love. 

As the world re-opens get out there & have fun!  You with a smile on your face will be more attractive than any profile.  

  • Like 1
Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?


It’s a our decision and choices.  I’ve mentioned this before.

 

with OLD and having a date. Everything went we

l, had fun, there wasn’t an instant spark. One netted the other.  Had they met when there wasn’t OLD and common friend set you two up, you probably would have had a 2znd and 3rd date Thrn saw where it goes.

 

many on online are looking for the dream or fantasy catch.

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, smackie9 said:

I don't know how many times I have said this...online dating is brutal for everyone, short or tall, old or young. Let it go. If you see better opportunity by meeting irl, then figure it out and do it.

Wrong...

5 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

So true.  I never have problems meeting people IRL.  OLD was rough. . .it was like getting multiple rejections all day every day.  Not for the faint of heart.  That is why these apps need to be on 1 tool / place where you look for love. 

As the world re-opens get out there & have fun!  You with a smile on your face will be more attractive than any profile.  

...and wrong!

It may be brutal for some, for many, or perhaps even most?  I dunno, I found it to be a smorgasbord, and so did a few buddies of mine.  If it sucked for everyone they wouldn't exist at all.

Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

Posted
Posted
On 5/28/2021 at 6:23 AM, Mobilehotspotuser said:

As an average man, you'll never make it with online dating. All those short and ugly men with girlfriends you see outside? They met their partner using social circles and mutual friends. Most perpetually single and sexless men simply lack the social life needed to get a woman.

Example: Imagine that you're a short man making moves on woman x. This woman x WILL date you if you met at someone's wedding. Because that she doesn't mind dating a short guy. But that exact same woman x will NOT swipe right on you in an app. Because that you where not tall.

Am I wrong here?

I agree that it's far less likely that a guy punching above his weight met his girlfriend through OLD.  He most likely has a great circle of friends coupled with good social skills.

I worked with a guy a few years ago who was short, fat and started balding (albeit this started happening after he met his now wife).  Anyway, she was gorgeous, slim and from a good family.

They met through family/friend circles.  They're both of Greek heritage and their families were involved in Greek cultural events and social clubs in our city.  He's also a very charismatic and charming guy, despite his physical short-comings.

They're now married in their early thirties and have a house, baby and comfortable life.  I haven't worker with him for a few years, but I see on Facebook that he's managing the service department of a luxury vehicle dealership, so he's doing well as he was seemingly destined to do.

Would she havr swiped right on him if she saw him on Tinder?  Perhaps.  OLD is mainly about looks, because that's all you can guage from someone unless they fill in a detailed profile which, for many people, doesn't even get read until after you've been right-swiped.

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