Mesed Iayou Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 My g/f of 5+ years told me she cheated on me with someone I considered a good friend a bunch of times. Even worse, one of the times it happened was the day I proposed to her (after she said 'yes'). I just can't can't seem to forgive her on this one. She says she wants to stay together, but I'm not sure I believe her or feel the same anymore. I still love her, but I'm not sure I can ever trust her again and I can't help but feel constantly pissed at and betrayed by her and my "friend". All wedding plans have been dropped. Any advice?
JohnJohn Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 First of all I am real sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what this must feel like. Trust your gut. It's a good thing your wedding plans are off. If you have doubts or worse yet trust issues, then you definitely shouldn't proceed with the wedding. Have you talked to her about it? It's up to you as wo whether you still want her or not. If you do, try working things out and start of by having a long talk and see where it goes from there. And whatever she says, make sure her actions back her words.
hoppy28 Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 F THAT!! any girl who willingly cheats on her fiance of 5 years isnt worth marrying. not only did she cheat but she went even lower and did it with one of your friends. if you can be a bigger man then i could ever be in this situtation you could forgive her and try to work it out. i myself would walkaway and never look back. not to her or the "friend". im sorry to hear she pulled this crap with you bro......i really am.
westernxer Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Any advice? Tell her to keep your wedding night free.
allaboutchoices Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Tell her to keep your wedding night free. No kidding!! Was it her way of *celebrating* the engadgement?! That's just very disrespectful. Run Forest, Run!!!! Sorry for your pain. By running away now you will spare your self a lot more pain that is coming.
westernxer Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 No kidding!! Was it her way of *celebrating* the engadgement?! That's just very disrespectful. Run Forest, Run!!!! Sorry for your pain. By running away now you will spare your self a lot more pain that is coming. Sorry, allabout. I reworded my answer as you were quoting me. Didn't mean to throw you off, unlike this dude's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.
allaboutchoices Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Sorry, allabout. I reworded my answer as you were quoting me. Didn't mean to throw you off, unlike this dude's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. All fixed I just can't believe this girl, that's just messed up. I haven't been exactly saint and I am very liberal, but WTF. Dude, you need to find a better girl with respect for you and herself as well. Seriously.
lifestyle1 Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 that she had sex with someone else on the day you proposed sucks. where is hermguilt? shame? remorse. she doesnt deserve you - and you know it, but after 5 years, its hard to make a change, I know. so do this instead. initiate a 60 day NC (no contact) this will give you both some clarity on the events alone and give you time to think if you want to stay with her. At the end of 60 days re-visit and see if you still feel the same way. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Honestly I would say bon voage and good luck to the ex GF and the ex-best friend.
Mesed Iayou Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Well, just to clarify, the cheating began after we were together for ~4 1/2 years. According to her lasted about 6 months (but details not provided here prevented the actual physical cheating from happening too many times). As far as I can tell, she was faithful until then and I do believe this. I proposed after this began and she said 'yes'. Then a couple months ago tells me all of this. So I was devastated when she told me and she appeared to be too. She did seem ashamed (and still does), but I can't help feel that telling me was her way of breaking up, although she never said so. At the time, she begged me to stay together. So, for myself, I tried my best to hold it together and work it out for a month (what's another month after 5+ yrs?), but finally I broke up with her because I couldn't stop thinking about all of this. I'm stressed beyond belief with all of this and an unrelenting job/school doesn't help. I feel like I'm going off the deep end.
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