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Not caring what other people think. Attractive quality?

ironpony

By ironpony
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ironpony Established Member

ironpony

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I've noticed that women, it seems like a 50/50 split and about half the women in my experience love it when a guy doesn't care about what other think of him or what he does, and but the other half, give or take, are turned off by this and think this guy is so full of himself because he doesn't care what other people think of him.

What do you think, do more women find this a turn on or turn off?

LoopyLoop99 Established Member

LoopyLoop99

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in my experience none of these little things matter ,if you're tall good looking then a women will just put up with you no matter what your values are or anything like 'not caring what other people think'

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ironpony Established Member

ironpony

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1 minute ago, LoopyLoop99 said:

in my experience none of these little things matter ,if you're tall good looking then a women will just put up with you no matter what your values are or anything like 'not caring what other people think'

But I don't think looks matter that much though.  I see lots of really attractive women with very average looking guys, compared to them, and this is in circles of people I know as well.  So I think women are going for personality more than the looks it seems.

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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Posted (edited)

Confidence = good

Arrogance = bad

Edited by Wiseman2
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ironpony Established Member

ironpony

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Oh okay but what would not caring what other people think fall under?   Arrogance?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I would say that it depends on what the topic is. 

Positive examples:

  •  there's plenty of shorter guys who ignore those who say that short men can't get a girl....and they get the girls.  That's confidence and the guys are winning.   
  • A guy who ignores fashion but still looks cool
  • A guy who drives an old truck but still gets from A to B

Negative examples

  • A grown man who won't work and doesn't care that his mom/girlfriend needs to support him
  • A guy who is is rude or hurtful and doesn't care about other's feelings.
  • A guy who doesn't care about how he presents and looks like he crawled from a dumpster

The 50/50 split on how women respond to the idea of "not caring" would depend on how they interpret the question and what kinds of things they imagine him not caring about.  

Edited by basil67
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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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Do you mean doesn't care or having the courage to do his own thing while still respecting other people's opinions?

The latter is an attractive quality to have.

Though, caring "less" about what someone thinks before assessing their motives might come off as arrogance on the surface if you don't know much about them.

Arrogance in the form of an overbearing attitude, on the other hand, and I tend to tune out.

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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3 hours ago, ironpony said:

 Arrogance?

Anything you read on the manosphere (hategroup) sites such as pick-up artist, red pill, MGTOW, incels, etc.

Your question is odd, so is that what you mean? 

Edited by Wiseman2
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Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

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There’s a big difference between not caring what other people think about you and not caring about other people. 
 

Someone who cares about what other people think about them but doesn’t care about other people is typically a narcissist. 
 

 

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Blind-Sided Established Member

Blind-Sided

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4 hours ago, ironpony said:

But I don't think looks matter that much though.  I see lots of really attractive women with very average looking guys, compared to them, and this is in circles of people I know as well.  So I think women are going for personality more than the looks it seems.

First.... you are a guy who likes women.  So... a "Good looking" guy may seem average to you.  I've never seen myself as anything other that average.  BUT... every girl I've meet have said that I'm handsome.  

Second... women are just like guys.  Some go for looks... some go for personality... some go for money... some go for power... and some go for what a guy can give her.   BUT... the vast majority... who are normal, and not superficial, go for a combo of looks, and personality. 

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Confidence = good

Arrogance = bad

EXACTLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 hours ago, ironpony said:

Oh okay but what would not caring what other people think fall under?   Arrogance?

This is just an illusion you are coming up with.   Not caring... being aloof... or playing "hard to get" is a tactic if you have someone chasing you.

I know you have a few issues... but stop trying to look for a GIMMICK to attract someone.  If you aren't yourself... then eventually the relationship will fall apart when they get to know the real you. If you think there is an issue... then you need to change that aspect of who you are. 

And finally... from reading your threads... I just get the feeling that you are putting out a "Stink" of desperation. That is not attractive at all.  I've known a few women like this. 

Edited by Blind-Sided
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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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There is no need to fixate on details like this, it's never going to be a deciding factor in attraction.

Maldives Established Member

Maldives

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'stop putting the pussy on a pedestal" - 40 yr old virgin 😊

chillii Established Member

chillii

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4 hours ago, Eternal Sunshine said:

There is no need to fixate on details like this, it's never going to be a deciding factor in attraction.

Exactly what l was thinking.

So what do you care op , it makes no difference what women think only what the one you wanna be with thinks and she'll be with you for you.

Edited by chillii
Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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10 hours ago, ironpony said:

I've noticed that women, it seems like a 50/50 split and about half the women in my experience love it when a guy doesn't care about what other think of him or what he does, and but the other half, give or take, are turned off by this and think this guy is so full of himself because he doesn't care what other people think of him.

What do you think, do more women find this a turn on or turn off?


 

im someone who doesn’t care what others think if me. I’m my own person.  I’m not going to change due to peer pressure.

Im not full of myself or have a stick stuck somewhere. I’m not woke.

 

im not going to change my style of dress for a women. Over my life I decided what I prefer to wear.  I’m not a dress shirt and tie person. I don’t own a suit. I would need to be paid a lot from a job to need to wear a suit.

 

I know what clothing styles I like and not like.

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ironpony Established Member

ironpony

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8 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Do you mean doesn't care or having the courage to do his own thing while still respecting other people's opinions?

The latter is an attractive quality to have.

Though, caring "less" about what someone thinks before assessing their motives might come off as arrogance on the surface if you don't know much about them.

Arrogance in the form of an overbearing attitude, on the other hand, and I tend to tune out.

I assume this is what most women are talking about when they say that they are either turned on by it or off, is the latter.

cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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57 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:


 

im someone who doesn’t care what others think if me. I’m my own person.  I’m not going to change due to peer pressure.

Im not full of myself or have a stick stuck somewhere. I’m not woke.

 

im not going to change my style of dress for a women. Over my life I decided what I prefer to wear.  I’m not a dress shirt and tie person. I don’t own a suit. I would need to be paid a lot from a job to need to wear a suit.

 

I know what clothing styles I like and not like.

This OP. They like confidence, not people who don't care. 

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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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26 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

This OP. They like confidence, not people who don't care. 


 

something to be aware of....younger women u der 35 tend to have a perception that thus person coukd be a fixer-upper and try to change you to meet their ideal. You can’t change peop,e.

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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1 hour ago, ironpony said:

I assume this is what most women are talking about when they say that they are either turned on by it or off, is the latter.

Yes.

Confidence builds, arrogance repels.

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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Who cares... 🙂

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Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

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Was reading some article and the point made was that people under a certain age "do care about what other people think"

Once they reach a certain age- that changes and they no longer care,

What is that certain age- hard to say for sure but its fair to say younger people care more about this issue.

 

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

Was reading some article and the point made was that people under a certain age "do care about what other people think"

Once they reach a certain age- that changes and they no longer care,

What is that certain age- hard to say for sure but its fair to say younger people care more about this issue.

 

Might vary by location...but early thirties.

glows Established Member

glows

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The perception on what's confidence or arrogance is bound to vary especially in different age groups. What someone used to worry about quite a lot at an earlier age, may no longer bother that person later on in life.

You grow forwards (hopefully) and learn to love parts of yourself. In doing so, you also inspire others to love themselves. I think that is confidence and kindness. Without kindness, confidence or arrogance means nothing. 

Perhaps it is not about not caring. It's about daring to care, despite what life throws at you and being more discerning about what matters you spend your time on, what causes mean something to you. Confidence only means something when it's put to practice and combined with other positive traits. There is nothing worse than someone who is confident but self-absorbed.

 

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Very attractive. Society has seriously lost it's mind lately and I would rather not cater to crazy people so it is attractive when somebody would rather not conform to it. 

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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3 hours ago, Woggle said:

Very attractive. Society has seriously lost it's mind lately and I would rather not cater to crazy people so it is attractive when somebody would rather not conform to it. 

wow Woggle comes out of the woodwork.....😀

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think "not caring what other people think" is misinterpreted.

Some think being a jerk or a contrarian is not caring what people think.  Some make an effort to appear a certain way to people, like being a "bad boy."  Also I think if someone actually says they don't care what people think, they do.  Whenever you're acting in a way to elicit a response (positive or negative) you are literally caring what people think.

What I think not caring what other people think means is accepting your insecurities.  Those people know that some won't like them or be attracted to them, but they know some will and that's who they surround themselves with.

Edited by dramafreezone
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