basscatcher Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I read this today. It was something I wrote a little over a month ago. I like to journal my thoughts often and sometimes I go back and reread them. I found this interesting to read now. I can remember where I was a month ago when I wrote it. I was mentally working on myself to plug forward in my life after all the struggles I have endured.. Here it is: September 13, 2005rambling thoughtsMoods shift from left to right. Some days good some days sad. Today is a day that is all around. To many lossess so many gains. I've lived a lot of life this last year and there is so much I wish I could just forget. I've been disappointed several times and hurt too. I will never give up. I keep plugging along to find the one who will see me as someone special they can cherish and love. I won't give up no matter how hard I'm beaten down. I will continue to get up and move forward bumped and bruised. I will become stronger with each fall. I will be smarter with each blow. Life is a lesson and if I didnt search for truth in what I live then I will fail. I am not a failure I am a survivor and I am growing. I am not perfect, I make my mistakes. Sometimes I have to make them more then once to learn my lesson from the pain. I will never give up. I believe in love; I have felt it. I believe in love; I have experienced it. I believe in love; I know it will be mine again. I will never give up. Today is another day with lessons to learn whether I recognize them or not I will still search, I will still heal, I will still love, I will still believe. I am not a failure, I am not a quitter, I am a fighter, I am a searcher, I am full of hope, I am full of faith. I am a mother, I am a daughter, I am a step-daughter, I am a sister, I am a step-sister, I am a aunt, I am a step-aunt, I am a niece, I am a step-neice, I am a a granddaughter, I am a step-granddaughter, I am a friend, I am a child of God.. I will be a wife again someday when we find one another. I have it in my being to cook, to clean, to love, to care, to be there through every despair. I am ME. I am a survivor. I beleive in love. I am always growing I am always learning. I am open.. My moods shift from left to right. Some days good, some days sad but I am moving forward, growing, evolving, healing, learning and always hoping.
In Sync Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Today is one of those days I feel like I'm sinking. It never fails that someone on LS always offers words of support. Thank You for yours.
Author basscatcher Posted October 17, 2005 Author Posted October 17, 2005 Today is one of those days I feel like I'm sinking. It never fails that someone on LS always offers words of support. Thank You for yours. I love the pic of the littly kitty. I just wanna snuggle it.. :bunny: when I read those words I wrote over a month ago . I felt good inside. I remember meaning everyone of those words simply because I am sick and tired of feeling trampled on and no good. I know I am better then that. SO I am honest with myself. I know where I have come from, I am alive, I can breath, I can see the blue skys, I have a healthy son, I have a loving mother and good friends. I am not alone. I can pick myself up when I am down and I can move forward. By looking back and finding the lesson in my toubles and pains I can learn to make better decisions and I will know how to heal and let go when I need too. I am glad my words gave you support and possibly encouragement. When I feel strong I write. When I am down I read my words and realize that I am the only one beating myself up. I am my worse critic.. I NEED and MUST stop doing that to myself... When I have trouble doing that I call someone (mom, friend) who can help me get up off my butt and brush myself off and walk forward... If I can do it so can you and every one else... Its all CHOICE... We need to learn how to make our own Choices....
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