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How do you stop comparing new people to your ex?


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Posted

I wasted a couple years of my life pining over someone who i completely fell in love with .. we were not together for that long but i loved them more than anything 

i couldn't get over it... i couldn't stop thinkng about it or watnig them back or getting sad about it 

i had no self control and for nearly 2 years! i spent being sad over it.. then i just thought enough is enough.. i deleted all their pictures removed everything that reminded me of them and after a couple weeks ive already forgotten about them and don't even care and realised they weren't that great after all.

LOL

gosh. i'm so silly.

Posted

Why not do yourself a favor and see a physician about the moods, anxiety, ruminating and obsessing?

This isn't about someone you dated long ago. This is about being stuck in a negative loop.

Get an evaluation and a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

Posted

3rd topic about your ex? Really?

Time to seek professional help as you clearly need it.

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  • Author
Posted
4 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

3rd topic about your ex? Really?

Time to seek professional help as you clearly need it.

Nah it's okay I'm over it now. I realised this. I spent a couple years being obsessed ,depressed and pining over them but now i dont care its ok.

Posted
1 minute ago, LoopyLoop99 said:

 I spent a couple years being obsessed ,depressed and pining over them but now i dont care its ok.

Ok great. So what's going on with your life now? Are you dating again?

What is "them"? Your ex and what else?

  • Author
Posted
1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok great. So what's going on with your life now? Are you dating again?

What is "them"? Your ex and what else?

no i meant my ex,, god i feel like such an idiot! 2 years nearly spend obsessing over them watning them back, hoping they would re connect

nah i'm just single but im ok i dont feel lonely except sometimes.

Posted
1 hour ago, LoopyLoop99 said:

2 years nearly spend obsessing over them watning them back, hoping they would.....

Is this a same sex relationship?

It's unclear why you won't date anyone else.

  • Author
Posted
26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this a same sex relationship?

It's unclear why you won't date anyone else.

what?

I explained after the break up i went on dates,  i slept around but all it did was make me feel miserable and miss them more so i took a break then covid hit. i haven't dated or been close to anyone for a long time.

Sometimes i randomly get sad and miss the time s of 2 years ago but other times i feel fine. but i realise now they aren't that good and i shouldn't be so sad over it.

Posted

It seems you are idealizing "the one who got away".

But think of it logically.

Why would you make someone who dumped you the benchmark for the future?

  • Author
Posted
1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems you are idealizing "the one who got away".

But think of it logically.

Why would you make someone who dumped you the benchmark for the future?

They were  a terrific person but i was an idiot, selfish, thought i was amazing and didn't invest in them.. then they cheated on me and left me and i've been stuck on that negative guilt for so long

but then i realised something if i actaully got to know them i'd realise that i actually wouldn't want a relatiionship with them.. it was a superifical relationship

  • Author
Posted

do you guys ever forgve yourself for stuffing it up with someone you loved?

 

god i was such an immature, stupid kid with her such a boy she wanted a man

f*** i was pathetic.

  • Author
Posted

i wish i could go back 2 years ago and be with her. god i miss her i miss you babe.

Posted

Time. 

Eventually you'll get over her. Time heals all wounds

  • Author
Posted
33 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

Time. 

Eventually you'll get over her. Time heals all wounds

they were the best gf ill ever have

Posted
Just now, LoopyLoop99 said:

they were the best gf ill ever have

You haven't had one since. You're stuck in an obsessive loop but refuse to see a physician. That's not on her.

  • Sad 1
  • Author
Posted
17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You haven't had one since. You're stuck in an obsessive loop but refuse to see a physician. That's not on her.

I've actually seen a counsellor no need to be so mean

  • Author
Posted

i think im finally moving on.. took me nearly 2 years to get over it but meditation and complete no contact has helped.

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