Got a new match and tried to limit the Phone conversation to 20 mins and that still didnt work lol

[IntBrowser]

What I want to start doing now is calling with a purpose.    So I called tonight she to find out what her schedule is during the week and what would be a good meeting day which I found out it was the weekends.    So I threw a little small talk in there and was at the 9 min mark and her phone beeped and I got the ...........Can I call you back?  lol    I wasnt going to try and set up the date on a monday just find out her availability and see how her day was.     So I guess I will call again on wednesday and cut the convo to 5 mins.       But time limit phone convo is something I want to do all the time now

 

No more talking for 2 hours no matter how nice her voice sounds or how good the conv is going,

[TrueGuy]

Smart. Save all the conversation for the date, always. Also, you're showing that you have self-control and that is always attractive to women. Why? Well, they know that you are attracted to them, and if you are able to control your tongue, talking, emotional desire for them, and demonstrate non-neediness and being Hard to Get, that just builds attraction and respect. A woman that doesn't respect you can never love you, ever. Also, if I were you, don't every allow yourself to become a woman's text-puppie, and don't become a text-stalker or a text-hound towards her. I don't do any texting, even when she texts me first. I just say something like: "Interesting, I can't wait to hear about that neat stuff on our next date." She gets the message. Good luck. 

[Miss Spider]

This is so weird. Why are you timing your phone calls. I have been on several dates from OLD and I’ve never talked on the phone with any of them beforehand. Don’t get it 

 

Edited May 25, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Miss Spider]

20 minutes ago, TrueGuy said:

I don't do any texting, even when she texts me first. I just say something like: "Interesting, I can't wait to hear about that neat stuff on our next date." She gets the message. Good luck. 

Ice cold.... I get texting is not everyone’s ideal medium, and if she’s blowing off dates and ONLY texting , I get not wanting to keep communicating, but if she is going on dates what’s so wrong with humoring someone who tells you something through one most common forms of communication in the 21st-century? 

[Alpacalia]

27 minutes ago, TrueGuy said:

Smart. Save all the conversation for the date, always. Also, you're showing that you have self-control and that is always attractive to women. Why? Well, they know that you are attracted to them, and if you are able to control your tongue, talking, emotional desire for them, and demonstrate non-neediness and being Hard to Get, that just builds attraction and respect. A woman that doesn't respect you can never love you, ever. Also, if I were you, don't every allow yourself to become a woman's text-puppie, and don't become a text-stalker or a text-hound towards her. I don't do any texting, even when she texts me first. I just say something like: "Interesting, I can't wait to hear about that neat stuff on our next date." She gets the message. Good luck. 

OP maybe listen to the talking head.

[IntBrowser]

14 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

This is so weird. Why are you timing your phone calls. I have been on several dates from OLD and I’ve never talked on the phone with any of them beforehand. Don’t get it 

 

Just wanted to touch base, keep the momentum going of the getting to know process and have a brief conversation.     And I want to be the one who ends the convo first for a change.

[Fletch Lives]

Shorter calls are safer and waste less time, so that can be good. It's better to get to know someone in person. Besides, if it's online dating and you have never met, you don't really know if there is chemistry/attraction.

 

The main reason you call is to set a date - just make sure you do that by the end of the call.

[Dis]

I always have a short phone call before a date because if we can carry a convo well on the phone... usually means the date won't be horrible. But if the guy is a dud on the phone, I cancel the date. It's actually been a good strategy to avoid bad dates. 

 

BUT, what I don't get about this is, timing the phone call? Limiting to 20 minutes, 5? Very odd. So because she had to take another call meant you needed to cut the convo before that? OP, you need to work on not being so reactive to women. Not every little occurrence is a malicious slight to you. 

 

Sometimes I've told guys I had to call them back if the convo didn't go well...and then cancelled the date via text after. Did you hear from her after that? 

[Fletch Lives]

2 minutes ago, Dis said:

I always have a short phone call before a date because if we can carry a convo well on the phone... usually means the date won't be horrible. But if the guy is a dud on the phone, I cancel the date. It's actually been a good strategy to avoid bad dates. 

I think this is a good strategy if you have a strong, sociable side. 

[Dis]

1 minute ago, Fletch Lives said:

I think this is a good strategy if you have a strong, sociable side. 

Yeah and even for guys who aren't big on phone calls...you can still tell if they're cool or not just by talking to them on the phone. You can catch a vibe pretty easily. 

 

I went out on a casual date just to have fun a week ago. Actually was my second time meeting the guy. Meet him once two years ago and thought he was dull and flat but wanted to give him another shot because I thought maybe he was nervous...anyway it was soooo bad! lol. Like pulling teeth. Such a flat affect and boring convo about credit scores and cars. BUT if we had a phone call before hand, I would've caught on and cancelled...avoiding all that pain lol 

[Fletch Lives]

Yeah, if it did not go well two years ago, it probably won't fly a second time either.

[IntBrowser]

2 hours ago, Dis said:

I always have a short phone call before a date because if we can carry a convo well on the phone... usually means the date won't be horrible. But if the guy is a dud on the phone, I cancel the date. It's actually been a good strategy to avoid bad dates. 

 

BUT, what I don't get about this is, timing the phone call? Limiting to 20 minutes, 5? Very odd. So because she had to take another call meant you needed to cut the convo before that? OP, you need to work on not being so reactive to women. Not every little occurrence is a malicious slight to you. 

 

Sometimes I've told guys I had to call them back if the convo didn't go well...and then cancelled the date via text after. Did you hear from her after that? 

no she did not call back after that.   And I didnt appreciate being cut off in mid sentence.     So it's a strong possibility we wont talk again because I am not making another contact.   Now if contacts me then maybe but my reaching out is over for now

[Gaeta]

6 hours ago, Dis said:

I always have a short phone call before a date because if we can carry a convo well on the phone.

The vibe I am getting from a man during a phone call has always been accurate with the vibe in person. There is no comparing with texting. Texting is fun to say hi and send the occasional goofie picture but a phone call, hearing their voice & their laugh, builds a sense of familiarity that is not found on text. 

[Gaeta]

4 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

no she did not call back after that.   And I didnt appreciate being cut off in mid sentence. 

When you get another call that you must pick up, there isn't any other way than to cut the person to tell them it's a call that must be picked up. I am not sure why you find this offensive, she had no idea how long your sentence was going to be. 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

   I wasnt going to try and set up the date 

Just text and arrange a mutually convenient date and time for a brief coffee meet.

Talk in person. Why set up arbitrary ways to fail such as timed calls?

Cut to the chase and meet,

[IntBrowser]

7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Just text and arrange a mutually convenient date and time for a brief coffee meet.

Talk in person. Why set up arbitrary ways to fail such as timed calls?

Cut to the chase and meet,

I unmatched and deleted her number.    The more I Kept thinking about how I was cut off in mid sentence and was never called back the more I lost interest in talking again

BTW: she was the one who asked if I would like to talk on the phone and I said yes.  

[IntBrowser]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

When you get another call that you must pick up, there isn't any other way than to cut the person to tell them it's a call that must be picked up. I am not sure why you find this offensive, she had no idea how long your sentence was going to be. 

I unmatched and deleted her number.      The fact that she didnt call back meant I said something that turned her off which I was unaware of.   So on to the next

[SumGuy]

17 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

This is so weird. Why are you timing your phone calls. I have been on several dates from OLD and I’ve never talked on the phone with any of them beforehand. Don’t get it 

I'm with you, I am on the "lets meet and never initiate a phone call first" side of the call or no-call line...yet there are those who swear by a phone call first.

What I don't get is the call to get info and then not ask to meet.  For me I get all my ducks in a row before asking availability so once have it can ask then and there, never any get back to her.

It's simple, look at the days over a week period you are available, make a plan for each day...for me what works for one day works for any other as just thinking of a place to get a drink...but I guess if a place on ones list is closed Monday, Sunday etc. have a back up.  It's not really hard so never get why not ask then and there.

Also....why ask availability as a separate step?  Simply as if want to meet x evening for a drink.  If that day is bad you'll get a new day and go with that.  Then simply say I say this place...how about we meet there at x time.  Again if that time is an issue she will let you know and you work it out from there.  

For me that is how you keep "momentum" by actually moving things along.  To each their own though.

[Gaeta]

26 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I unmatched and deleted her number.      The fact that she didnt call back meant I said something that turned her off which I was unaware of.   So on to the next

What were you talking about when she cut you off?

[smackie9]

Good you did the right thing...she showed very little interest and you dumped her...yay!

[IntBrowser]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

What were you talking about when she cut you off?

We were talking about TV streaming and I mentioned how cool it was that I can watch TV on my phone now if Im not home.   And then I was planning on ending the conversation in a upbeat way and say Im going to make dinner.   But i couldnt get to that point because I guess some other dude was calling and she felt the need to rush me off the phone on top of not calling or texting back

[Gaeta]

34 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

 I guess some other dude was calling and she felt the need to rush me off the phone on top of not calling or texting back

Why does your mind go there? You'd be happier in life if you didn't see a nemesis behind every door. 

[dramafreezone]

4 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Good you did the right thing...she showed very little interest and you dumped her...yay!

Well maybe.  He could just as easily have said something on the call that killed her attraction.

Why not just cut to the chase, a couple of minutes of small talk (don't time it) then, "hey, so I'd love to see soon, when are you free to get together?"

OP you're making this too complicated.  Every call is not the same, you have to judge her enthusiasm, is she engaging or just giving you short answers?  Is she asking you any questions?  If she's not really participating in the conversation, then cut it short and just ask her when is she free to get together.  If she is engaging, then great, but you want to save it for the date.

Edited May 26, 2021 by dramafreezone

[Dis]

16 hours ago, Gaeta said:

The vibe I am getting from a man during a phone call has always been accurate with the vibe in person. There is no comparing with texting. Texting is fun to say hi and send the occasional goofie picture but a phone call, hearing their voice & their laugh, builds a sense of familiarity that is not found on text. 

100% 

 

How the guy is over the phone is how he will be on the date and a phone call is much more telling than text

 

Maybe the OP's date didn't like the way he sounded on the phone which is why he never heard back from her. I have cancelled on guys for the same reason. 

[Dis]

8 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

 

BTW: she was the one who asked if I would like to talk on the phone and I said yes.  

She was trying to catch your vibe by talking to you on the phone....and something you did/said turned her off

 

Think about what it could have been and what you need to do differently in the future