smackie9 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 No I would not follow buff guys with tight boxers wear you can see the outline of their package on IG. My friend's sister was showing off a pic of a naked guy...the one in the bathroom mirror. He sent it to her...she said she F*&^%$ him, I thought .
IntBrowser Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 On 5/24/2021 at 1:23 PM, Saartje said: Hi everyone, so my question is basically in the title; theres this guy thats interested in dating me. He seems like a nice, bit of a shy guy. I looked at his instagram to get a better idea of his interests. about 10 of the accounts that he follows are from quite tacky pornstars.. and he follows some explicit bikinimodels. The guy himself seems cool and I think hes attractive. But him following these pornstars are like a bit of a turnoff. I dont have problems with People looking porn, but explicitly and openly following these pornstars seems a bit... obsessed? am i overreacting? ps: he is 40 years old, not 20. why are you sharing social media addresses?
flitzanu Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 there is so much moral ambiguity in this thread, and lots of very very tall ivory tower houses i think. my unwanted observation and opinion here is: you don't like him looking at attractive women on the internet, with a focus on provocative / underwear. and most of the other comments 1. seem to think that 40 year old men are dead inside and are no longer allowed to look at women 2. dads are not entitled to have visual turnons by looking at women anymore 3. men with kids no longer have sexual desire or are allowed to find women attractive hate to say...if dads aren't supposed to like visual female stimuli and dads / men at 40 are no longer supposed to be interested in sex...i'm pretty sure civilization will fall. you'd all better be glad your dads were into sex or you wouldn't be here. 1
BeanCounter Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 4 hours ago, lana-banana said: Yes, it's juvenile and trashy. There are so many ways to look at porn that don't involve telling your friends and family that you look at porn (and specifically indicating what types of porn you like). It's not like he's a bad person or anything but it suggests a lack of discretion and basic good judgment. These are my feelings captured way better than I could put it. Does it make him a bad person to look at those kinds of pictures, or even be interested enough to follow the models? No, of course not. But you would hope someone would have the tact to not want to make those habits so glaringly obvious, especially if he has children. People clear their internet history for a reason, it's private. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Saartje said: yes, this is one of my biggest concerns as well. His kids are still young though (under 10) but what kind of rolemodel and fatherfigure are you when you openly follow these pornstars? how can a juvenile guy like him be a serious dad? How does him following porn stars affect his ability to raise his children? How's this any different from the men of today that found their dad's Playboy magazines? 1 1
BeanCounter Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: How does him following porn stars affect his ability to raise his children? How's this any different from the men of today that found their dad's Playboy magazines? Found their dad's Playboy magazines. They took effort to hide it. To openly flaunt it on social media that you follow a bunch of porn stars is a bit tacky, like if those dad's just left their Playboys on the kitchen table while having company over. Not cool. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 5 minutes ago, Tim05 said: Found their dad's Playboy magazines. They took effort to hide it. To openly flaunt it on social media that you follow a bunch of porn stars is a bit tacky, like if those dad's just left their Playboys on the kitchen table while having company over. Not cool. He's not flaunting anything. She had to take steps to see who he was following. I'd think her snooping was a red flag if I were him and found out. 1 1
Crazelnut Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 It isn't THAT he looks at nekked wimunz. It's HOW he looks at them. The analogy of the Playboy on the coffee table when you have over "polite company" is a good one. It's tacky and immature. And IF his kids are in the know, this normalizes porn for them. This sends a clear message that women are like this, and flagrantly embracing porn is great.
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 (edited) On 5/24/2021 at 10:23 AM, Saartje said: Hi everyone, so my question is basically in the title; theres this guy thats interested in dating me. He seems like a nice, bit of a shy guy. I looked at his instagram to get a better idea of his interests. about 10 of the accounts that he follows are from quite tacky pornstars.. and he follows some explicit bikinimodels. The guy himself seems cool and I think hes attractive. But him following these pornstars are like a bit of a turnoff. I dont have problems with People looking porn, but explicitly and openly following these pornstars seems a bit... obsessed? am i overreacting? ps: he is 40 years old, not 20. It's unfortunate that one's social media is so readily available for others (including potential dating partners) to view. OP, if you were aware of even a fraction of the stuff men look at, talk about and even engage in from time to time, you would be turned off by all men and would have no desire to date anyone! Back in the day it was Playboy, Penthouse magazines and the like. I dunno, stop snooping his socials or if you do and see something you don't like, pretend you didn't see it or don't date him if it bothers you too much. If you choose to not date him, you don't need anyone else's approval. Edited May 25, 2021 by poppyfields 1
norealusername Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 I don't think it's a big deal but I will agree it makes the guy look immature and tacky. Another reason not to broadcast yourself on social media.
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 14 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: I'd think her snooping was a red flag if I were him and found out. If is immaterial, as the OP is not going to have anything to do with him due to his trashy, tacky and juvenile ways...
Alpacalia Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 OP would you follow shirtless men in their underwear? If no, then chalk it up to incompatibility. 1
CollinW Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 On 5/24/2021 at 12:32 PM, d0nnivain said: Probably not. It's creepy. Watching porn is one thing . . . it's fake. To some extent those IG stories that he's following are probably publicity things, equally fake, not their true personal stuff but just no. What does creepy mean to you. Are you picturing him watching the pornstar's stories wearing a weird grin with some handcuffs and rope in his hand? Because that's the only way I see following a public figure to be creepy, if that word holds any meaning.
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: It's unfortunate that one's social media is so readily available for others (including potential dating partners) to view. But the fact it is so accessible, would make one surely be a bit more classy than follow a whole lot of pornstars and other half naked women. Does he really think potential dates will be impressed by his collection? Are men impressed by women who follow a whole bunch of male pornstars and half naked men? 1
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But the fact it is so accessible, would make one surely be a bit more classy than follow a whole lot of pornstars and other half naked women. Does he really think potential dates will be impressed by his collection? Are men impressed by women who follow a whole bunch of male pornstars and half naked men? It's not about "impressing" in my opinion and that is a big problem with traditional dating these days, everyone trying to "impress" each other. Like I said, if you actually knew what men (most men, even "classy" men) view on line, activities they might engage in and talk about with other men while not in the presence of women, you would be shocked. I'm not shocked because I have 5 brothers and I have also frequented men-only internet sites so I am aware of it and I accept it for the most part. I don't have to like it, but hell what's the alternative? Stop dating men? lol So if you're gonna negatively judge, better you not know. Don't look, simple as that. Edited May 25, 2021 by poppyfields 1
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Like I said, if you actually knew what men (most men, even "classy" men) view, activities they might engage in and talk about with other men while not in the presence of women, you would be shocked I very much doubt it. No-one said men are all angels but some men are a bit more discreet and thus "classier" than others, in the image they send out to the world. The guy is 40, he is not some teenager with a crush on pornstars...
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 2 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I very much doubt it. No-one said men are all angels but some men are a bit more discreet and thus "classier" than others, in the image they send out to the world. The guy is 40, he is not some teenager with a crush on pornstars... Hey, I don't disagree with you! It would probably bother me too, BUT if I liked everything else about him, we clicked, had great energy, he was a good upstanding guy, I'd let it go... I try to not judge men for things like that, not to mention what he does on his own time is really none of my business, which is why I don't even look. I actually have no desire to look, I would rather judge and get to know a man on a personal level, not by viewing is social media. I'm weird that way.
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 Poppy, I believe in these days of internet dating where complete strangers meet complete strangers with no real frame of reference to tell you who or what you are dealing with, it is up to everyone especially women to suss out a person using every means available and that includes their social media.
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Poppy, I believe in these days of internet dating where complete strangers meet complete strangers with no real frame of reference to tell you who or what you are dealing with, it is up to everyone especially women to suss out a person using every means available and that includes their social media. I don't agree. I could meet a man on the train, or at the market or on the street, who is also a complete stranger, we might exchange numbers and make a date. I am not going to go snooping his social media so why would I with a man I met on line? It's all a risk anyway, you could find nothing on social media (or he may not even have social media) and he could be a serial killer for cripes sakes. Anyway, agree to disagree, I'm cool with that. Edited May 25, 2021 by poppyfields 1
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: , you could find nothing on social media and he could be a serial killer for cripes sakes. Of course he could be but at least if you did your homework you don't tend to get surprises... I would suggest sussing out guys you met on the street or on a train too, why would you want to blindly trust?
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Of course he could be but at least if you did your homework you don't tend to get surprises... I would suggest sussing out guys you met on the street or on a train too, why would you want to blindly trust? Because social media can be misleading among other things; I cannot stand social media, more problems have arisen due to social media, relationships have ended due to misunderstandings due to social media. My way of doing things has never failed me yet, I am not about to start changing it up now by snooping a man's social media behind his back, not my style. It's not necessary, not for me, I don't need to. I can make a determination of his character from having a 15 conversation with him. But if you or other women feel the need, feel free, no judgment from me. Edited May 25, 2021 by poppyfields
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: My way of doing things has never failed me yet, Really?
poppyfields Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Really? Yes really, lol. As I said, I can weed men out fairly quickly just by interacting with them a bit. I actually enjoy the process of getting to know a man, and making a determination from that, a day, a week, a few weeks, whatever. Not sure why you're debating this with me elaine, we have different dating styles, and mine is I don't snoop socials, there's no wrong or right here. I'm good. Edited May 25, 2021 by poppyfields
ExpatInItaly Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 On 5/24/2021 at 7:23 PM, Saartje said: he is 40 years old, not 20. I am 40 also, and I would find this very immature from a man my age. I would nope on out of there. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: But the fact it is so accessible, would make one surely be a bit more classy than follow a whole lot of pornstars and other half naked women. Does he really think potential dates will be impressed by his collection? Are men impressed by women who follow a whole bunch of male pornstars and half naked men? The main problem is how repressed we all are as a society about sex. People are shamed for liking sex and sexuality. Anyways, if OP is snooping on the guy's IG account, it's not going to stop there. She may be doinig the both of them a favor by not pursuing anything further. 1
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