I can't move on from a short relationship that ended a few years ago.

[ExpatInItaly]

Is this the same woman from all your other threads?

[GoldMind]

5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Is this the same woman from all your other threads?

do you think based on what i said in the OP i did the right thing by not wanting a serious long term relationship with her?

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, GoldMind said:

do you think based on what i said in the OP i did the right thing by not wanting a serious long term relationship with her?

Can you please answer my question first?

[chillii]

omg , wouldn't even wast my time finishing that one.

Yepppaaa, big yeppaaa, you did the right thing , hell yeah. Twas your lucky day you escaped from that one. Why on Gods earth would you even be wondering .

Edited June 14, 2021 by chillii

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, GoldMind said:

So after 7-8 months she left me for another man 

You didn't make the decision . 

If you are ruminating about someone you dated for 28 weeks 3 years ago, it would be a great idea to get an evaluation from a physician for the moods and anxiety as well as a referral to a therapist for ongoing support.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you are ruminating about someone you dated for 28 weeks 3 years ago, it would be a great idea to get an evaluation from a physician for the moods and anxiety as well as a referral to a therapist for ongoing support.

Yes, hence my question if this is the same woman from this other threads. 

OP, with respect, it sounds like it's time to seek professional help. You appear to be fixated on this person and creating new threads on more or less the same topic isn't helping you. 

[GoldMind]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You didn't make the decision . 

If you are ruminating about someone you dated for 28 weeks 3 years ago, it would be a great idea to get an evaluation from a physician for the moods and anxiety as well as a referral to a therapist for ongoing support.

I did though, it was MY decision to not bother with the relationship or put effort in which ultimately lead to her decision

28 weeks , 28 years , does it matter? if you love someone you loved them.

[GoldMind]

29 minutes ago, chillii said:

omg , wouldn't even wast my time finishing that one.

Yepppaaa, big yeppaaa, you did the right thing , hell yeah. Twas your lucky day you escaped from that one. Why on Gods earth would you even be wondering .

Because of the connection ive never felt again in my entire life. what if i never "feel" it again

[Fletch Lives]

She sounds like she's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 

If you want a good relationship, you need someone who is sane.

[chillii]

18 minutes ago, GoldMind said:

Because of the connection ive never felt again in my entire life. what if i never "feel" it again

 

l can understand that truly, l know all about that . But as FL said below you there, she's not right man.

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, GoldMind said:

Because of the connection ive never felt again in my entire life. what if i never "feel" it again

Hopefully you won't. Don't mistake intensity for intimacy.

Having a wild crazy ride is memorable and intense but that's all it is.

Have you considered some adrenalin based sports and hobbies? That may make you feel alive again.

[Blind-Sided]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, hence my question if this is the same woman from this other threads. 

OP, with respect, it sounds like it's time to seek professional help. You appear to be fixated on this person and creating new threads on more or less the same topic isn't helping you. 

It's because our OP is hoping to twist it enough to get the answer he wants. 

[HiCrunchy]

I had the same issue OP. 

I loved someone for 6 months in 2016. What finally helped me was deciding to let go. I told myself I didn't want to be tied to the past anymore and that it wasn't healthy. Reliving the memories won't help with letting go. 

I told myself I could feel whatever I wanted and when I felt like writing to him, I wrote in my journal. But always remembered to write that this person isn't a part of my life anymore and that it's okay.

Eventually u get tired of writing. 

[GoldMind]

5 hours ago, HiCrunchy said:

I had the same issue OP. 

I loved someone for 6 months in 2016. What finally helped me was deciding to let go. I told myself I didn't want to be tied to the past anymore and that it wasn't healthy. Reliving the memories won't help with letting go. 

I told myself I could feel whatever I wanted and when I felt like writing to him, I wrote in my journal. But always remembered to write that this person isn't a part of my life anymore and that it's okay.

Eventually u get tired of writing. 

She was such a great girlfriend

 

even years later i think of her and mis her sometimes. however lately (thaink fully) it's like ive deleted her from my mind , i realised the more i think of the memories the stronger it stays so ive stopped and she has diminshed in a way i'm sad

 

 

ayway everyone says she is a terrible gf why do i hve cognitive dissonance adn think she is great?

[HiCrunchy]

2 hours ago, GoldMind said:

She was such a great girlfriend

 

even years later i think of her and mis her sometimes. however lately (thaink fully) it's like ive deleted her from my mind , i realised the more i think of the memories the stronger it stays so ive stopped and she has diminshed in a way i'm sad

 

 

ayway everyone says she is a terrible gf why do i hve cognitive dissonance adn think she is great?

Yeah, my ex was a good bf too, so I understand.

Letting go is something that is so hard, but we have to come to terms with it. Life happens now, and right now she isn't a part of your life anymore so you have to live now. If you keep living in the past, you might miss out on things that are meant to come into your life now.

[earlgreymuffin]

Seems like maybe you're amplifying the good memories and suppressing the bad ones. It happens to the best of us. I did a lot of reading to figure myself out and had to refrain from replaying things in my mind. All the "what-if's" and the "should have's" won't help you in the long run. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, GoldMind said:

She was such a great girlfriend

Are you dating someone now? That might help.

[GoldMind]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you dating someone now? That might help.

Do you think I did the right thing by not having a serious long term relationship with her?

Do you think i'm better off being lonely than being with her?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, GoldMind said:

 i'm better off being lonely than being with her?

Why aren't you dating anyone since this?

[GoldMind]

13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why aren't you dating anyone since this?

havn't met a girl ive lked since her