Showing what you've got

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

Being that the OP has stated in other threads that she has a "masculine" look about her and a "dour" facial expression, showing a little cleavage wouldn't hurt if her goal is to get a little more male attention.

@mortensorchid  If the above is true that you have a masculine look & a dower expression a smile will help.  Add some feminine touch that you are comfortable with -- more fitted clothes, softer colors (don't always wear black, grey & khaki), maybe a dangling earring etc.  If you can't handle a dangle, buy yourself a pair of pearl studs & wear those.  There is something about the pearl sheen near your face that helps you glow.  You don't have to become a girly girl announcing your presence with the arrival of your boobs first but wearing a v-neck will elongate you & emphasize that you are in fact a woman.   

[Miss Spider]

6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

@mortensorchid  If the above is true that you have a masculine look & a dower expression a smile will help.  Add some feminine touch that you are comfortable with -- more fitted clothes, softer colors (don't always wear black, grey & khaki), maybe a dangling earring etc.  If you can't handle a dangle, buy yourself a pair of pearl studs & wear those.  There is something about the pearl sheen near your face that helps you glow.  You don't have to become a girly girl announcing your presence with the arrival of your boobs first but wearing a v-neck will elongate you & emphasize that you are in fact a woman.   

Oh yea color!!! That is a huge one. I have a few colors that I look like  death in. Take a look at color theory/matching story 

 

I think I pull more dudes in jeans and a fitted top than I do in a dress. I wear dresses sometimes  but they’re not my preference.

Edited May 24, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[mark clemson]

I do think it has potential to "work" (done well) and certainly to backfire if done poorly or overdone.

I think the point about backing it up with "more" - e.g. personality, friendliness, etc is quite important, else you risk attracting only the wrong men because good ones who might become interested won't stick around that long. Being friendly and easygoing can be easier said than done depending on how one feels, etc, unfortunately, but it's important.

One important thing is IF it works, then tone it down gradually. This suggests (speaking generally) that you are committing or starting to think about it as you are no longer "fishing". Date nights (once an established couple) can be an exception as many men (let's be honest) will get an ego boost walking around with a sexy woman on their arm, along with the other positive things that presumably are coming from the relationship.

It's also possible to overthink this and worry too much about the exact look, etc. Avoid that if you find it adds unnecessary stress.

[ItsTheDay]

I like my girl to look good and take of herself. I'm healthy, take care of myself and physically fit and I look for the same. I am a casual guy, though. Jeans, tee shirt and regular tennis shoes. I also do not keep up with sports at all, sometimes UFC if that counts. I tried the whole dressing up nice thing years ago, but it wasn't for me. Only on special occasions will I do so. I'm pretty new on the market, and joined 2 dating apps and so far, maybe too soon I know (single for 2 months from a 8 year LTR) it looks like ever women dresses for weddings, really? Is this what you wear every day? I get everybody wants to look their best, but I rather see you normally. I mean, I get it. I do know some women that do dress up all the time, but that's not for me. That's one reason why I fell in love with my ex, she was pure. Never wore makeup, hardly dressed to impress, only on special occasions. On our first date, she just wore jeans and a regular tank top and it didn't show cleavage, and she has her boobs done. I didn't find that out until about 2 months into our relationship. 

So to answer your questions, not for me but who am I? I can't speak for all guys.   

[Stupidkupid]

I feel like no-one on your life or here should tell you what to where or how to act. You have to be comfortable with whatever and happy.

I first met my partner in a snug jumper, jeans and boots. I wasn't wearing make up or showing any skin at all. He was crazy for me because ... I am me and he is who he is, and there was chemistry. I don't think you should ever try to be anything you're not as, at some point, the forced alteration will be hard.

For me, confidence is key. If you are comfortable and confident, you will attract the right man for you. We are all attracted to and enjoy different things.

Wear what you want but be happy and confident. 

[d0nnivain]

1 minute ago, Stupidkupid said:

Wear what you want but be happy and confident. 

There is the key.  A smile is always your best accessory.  If you look dour, learn to smile more.  

[Miss Spider]

6 minutes ago, Stupidkupid said:

I don't think you should ever try to be anything you're not

 

6 minutes ago, Stupidkupid said:

 but be happy 

 Instructions unclear 

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

But what is she going to do with it when she gets it?
She is someone who shows little interest on dates and who has been described as rude on occasion.
If she is going to flaunt it, she needs to be ready with some witty banter and show some personality.
Else why bother?

I agree with you, Elaine, but in another thread mortensorchid stated she was practicing smiling more and some other changes.

I also agree that being rude on any date is a turn off.  If it happens early in the dating/getting to know you stage, then I would likely "throw in the towel", as well.  I think the OP understands this and is trying.

[Alpacalia]

Since OP is an adult, she is probably aware that flaunting her cleavage would attract men.

To be honest, I'm not sure what her thread's goal is.

[Weezy1973]

It doesn’t have to be permanent. Try it. See how you feel wearing it. See if it gets you the kind of attention / attracting the types of men you’re interested in. It’s fine to experiment.

[Miss Spider]

I feel like a lot of MO’s posts are just satirical highlighting of the tragedy of dating/human nature 

[Stupidkupid]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

 

 Instructions unclear 

Ha! Fair.

But I was more thinking if you're dating its sensible to be in a good place!

[Interstellar]

6 hours ago, chillii said:

Can't believe this got a like , l mean really.

Dunno who you know but no one l know is as shallow as that believe me, pretty damn generalized .

obviously meant to poke fun at us guys. didn’t meant for it to escape your humor meter.

[Wiseman2]

The type bait you use is the type of fish you'll catch.

[SumGuy]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

The type bait you use is the type of fish you'll catch.

Exactly.

[Happy Lemming]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The type bait you use is the type of fish you'll catch.

Considering the bad luck that mortensorchid has had in the past, anything in the "tackle box" is worth a try.

[chillii]

1 hour ago, Interstellar said:

obviously meant to poke fun at us guys. didn’t meant for it to escape your humor meter.

Ahhh , well that's a relief

[chillii]

31 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Considering the bad luck that mortensorchid has had in the past, anything in the "tackle box" is worth a try.

She really needs to soften by the sounds of it. As far as using the twins , dunno , in a tasteful natural way it sure doesn't hurt but l was amazed at the tackiness of so many on date sites back in the day , that to me was a real turn off especially if their skin was all shot to shyt anyway.

[Dis]

I think a fitted tank top or tee with skinny jeans and wedges is always a win and it's appropriate for most places you go to in the summer. I show a little cleavage but mainly because everything shows cleavage on me because of my bust size. But casually so. Has to be appropriate for wherever you're going. Obvi a sun dress would be a little too much for home depot...speaking of home depot...I went to one once dressed in a fitted tank top, legging and keds with my hair up in a pony tail. I had just run out of paint so I wasn't dressing to impress. One guy zipped up to me in a hurry with his kids in tow and started chatting me up, took my number. He was a hot too. 

 

Men care more about your figure than what's covering it. But you still don't want to dress like a bum. Hair and natural makeup helps your look too...and simple accessories. i always have mascara (men love long eye lashes) and light eye liner on every time I go out...helps my eyes pop. Those touches pull everything together and can dress up a tee and jeans if you're just being casual. I have really long dark hair and men like it when it's down and wavy more than when it's up. 

 

Every dude loves a sun dress...something about sun dresses and men. But has to fit the occasion. 

 

And as pointed out by others...you can attract all the attention you want but if you're not open to engaging... won't matter how much a guy notices you. You have to be warm. Shoot a guy a little smile...hold eye contact for a second or two. Say hi. Once a guy gets a hint of a cold shoulder he'll take off no matter how pretty the girl is. 

Edited May 25, 2021 by Dis

[Fletch Lives]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

The type bait you use is the type of fish you'll catch.

Well, that's not entirely true..... sure, if you show your assets more, you'll get more attention - more unsavory attention, but also more attention from good guys too. Gotta take the good with the bad.

 

There is an old saying - sex sells.

 

I would say - if you are very attractive, you could dress more conservatively. If not, show some goods.

 

Although it's rare, there are some women who don't wear makeup....I think that's fine, except on date night.

 

That said, I'm glad my last date dressed conservatively - she's pretty enough as it is, I don't need her to go over the top - let's save something for later, ya know?! I mean, as it was, my eyes were glued to her all night, lol

 

I'm a guy so I don't have much except for my Jim Carrey routine.....but I do know how to shake my money-maker!

[Interstellar]

On 5/24/2021 at 10:48 PM, Dis said:

I think a fitted tank top or tee with skinny jeans and wedges is always a win and it's appropriate for most places you go to in the summer. I show a little cleavage but mainly because everything shows cleavage on me because of my bust size. But casually so. Has to be appropriate for wherever you're going. Obvi a sun dress would be a little too much for home depot...speaking of home depot...I went to one once dressed in a fitted tank top, legging and keds with my hair up in a pony tail. 

jesus, you’re gonna give me a heart attack, but that’s probably a good thing because you’re a nurse....I meant,  you can call 911 and stuff.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Interstellar

[Blind-Sided]

On 5/24/2021 at 10:48 PM, Dis said:

1) Men care more about your figure than what's covering it. But you still don't want to dress like a bum. Hair and natural makeup helps your look too...and simple accessories. i always have mascara (men love long eye lashes) and light eye liner on every time I go out...helps my eyes pop. Those touches pull everything together and can dress up a tee and jeans if you're just being casual. I have really long dark hair and men like it when it's down and wavy more than when it's up. 

2) And as pointed out by others...you can attract all the attention you want but if you're not open to engaging... won't matter how much a guy notices you. You have to be warm. Shoot a guy a little smile...hold eye contact for a second or two. Say hi. Once a guy gets a hint of a cold shoulder he'll take off no matter how pretty the girl is. 

1) I agree.  AND... it helps a guy focus.  LOL.  OK... I'm a boob guy... and if a girl has too much chevage... then my eyes wonder. (not good for the conversation)   One of my female friends, who is busty, wore a VERY deep V-neck, and she noticed I was looking.  NOW... since she is a friend, and we joke about everything.... she asked if I was enjoying the view (To call me out on it)   and I said... "Yes.   Thanks for wearing that shirt."  (Calling her out on the chevage she KNOWS she was showing off)   

2) This is the problem with our OP. She hangs onto her FWB, and then kind of blows off a good date. 

[FMW]

It would help to know what @mortensorchid usually wears..  if she only wears shirts buttoned all the way  to the top or baggy shapeless tops, maybe the person she was talking to was just suggesting she dress to enhance her assets, not suggesting she dress sleazy.

Wearing anything other than a neckline actually at my neck results in cleavage for me.  When I wear perfectly appropriate V-neck sweaters cleavage is going to show, and yes, it does tend to get more attention than when I wear a baggy sweatshirt.  Like others have said, it's a normal part of life for some women.  

 

[chillii]

18 hours ago, Interstellar said:

jesus, you’re gonna give me a heart attack, but that’s probably a good thing because you’re a nurse....I meant,  you can call 911 and stuff.

Haaaa, she certainly knows where it's at that's for sure , chuckle , good for you dis.

Edited May 26, 2021 by chillii

[smackie9]

We've had this conversation before, probably 3 years ago....obviously you ignored our advice and are still faced with your dilemma about attracting men, but the right kind of men, men that will take you seriously. Your friend is a little off but he is right. We've made suggestions to you about what you could wear to look sexy, feminine...not trashy. Once this covid thing is mostly over, go and get a makeover...hair, makeup, wardrobe. It can be life changing for you.