Tiko Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Hello my name is Tiko, This is my first time posting on the board. I am desperate and found my way here. I am 31 years old and have been married for 11 years. I have 3 beautiful daughters and a wonderful wife. I have been unfaithful for the last 3 years and and finally the guilt and stress got the best of me. My marriage has always been an up and down relationship and all because I never considered and took value of the great family that I have. Finally I a came to realize that my wife and kids are everything to me and I wanted to come clean with my wife. I wanted to start fresh and give my marriage the oppurtunity that it has deserved for so long. I told my wife about my affair and how long I was carrying it for. Before I told her I said I had something I had to get off my chest... she promised that what ever it was she would understand and we can work thru it. She gave me her word... her word has always been true in the past so I told her. After listening to everything I said She cryed and said she could not keep her word and it was to much for her to bear. She gave everything including giving up loving herself to love me and I took it all for granted. Now she's talking divorce and selling the house. I know right now she is very serious in her decision and I'm destroyed...not only at the thought of us being apart forever but knowing that I've brought this pain upon her and my family. I need to know or may I say how can I regain her trust. I dont want to lose my family, I dont want to lose her. I really am lost wothout them and have no one else. I want my family back. Tiko
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 I need to know or may I say how can I regain her trust. I dont want to lose my family, I dont want to lose her. I really am lost wothout them and have no one else. I want my family back. Tiko I feel sad for you. It's too bad you didn't have this insight before you cheated on her or came to her to say you were unhappy in the marriage. What is done is done, you can't go back, only forward. So, hopefully if you show her in everyway possible to make it up to her, she'll work with you and go to marriage counselling. That is all you can do right now. She's decided in her heart that she doesn't want you...DO all you can to be an open book to her and let her know how much you love and want her and the kids. I'm sorry you're in pain too, but my heart most of all goes to your kids.
Author Tiko Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 Thank you whichwayisup, I like to say my wife an I have have talked and are trying to make it work. I made a mistake and I know it wont happen again. I had no idea how many people were affected by our break up. I was selfish and irrisponsible. How could I have put my kids in the middle of what could have been the most traumatic experience of their young lives. My wife...wow all the wonderful things I can say of her...she is a special woman. :love: Putting up with me all these years I see now was hell. I'm committed to starting a new with her and my family. I wont fail her or my kids again. Thank you once again for your response. Tiko
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 I like to say my wife an I have have talked and are trying to make it work.... I'm committed to starting a new with her and my family.... Your confession is the first step..... now what do you plan to do to accomplish your goal? did you work with OW? Now she's talking divorce and selling the house. you are both in a very extreme emotional situation.....never make decisions when you are angry or upset..... and stick around here....you will get some heartfelt honest advice
mental_traveller Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Make sure you never contact, or even give the suspicion of contact, with the woman you cheated with. Answer all your wife's quesitons 100% truthfully. Keep apologising, say you'll do whatever it takes to fix things, show you love her & find her sexy etc. Get to counselling. Then, cross your fingers and hope you luck out and she stays with you. If she doesn't, don't get mad, just say the door is always open for her to change her mind. Finally - don't do it again!
trying2cope Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Tiko, I am in the same place your wife is. I have been searching this sight for some hope to help me decide what to do. My husband was busted and now so sorry and doesn't know what he was thinking, because he had it all and didn't see it till it was too late. We have to little girls and I can tell you, I wouldn't haven't have put 5min into a decision if it weren't for them. The problem I have and it may be what your wife is feeling also; Is even though you are sorry, you already made a decision (the OW over your family). And although you realize now it was the wrong one, how is she supposed to get over it. I currently let my H move back in and we are working on it, but I am so angry and hurt. I don't want our family to fall apart, and my dreams and put my children through what I went through growing up with a split up mess, but at the same time I don't feel that he deserves to have it all back and that I deserve alot more. My husband is trying his hardest to make it up to me, if I could think of something that would work I would tell you, but I would really like to talk to your wife instead. I think it is very important to have someone to talk to that is in your shoes. Good luck
nextel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 have fkyc up their relationship before they realize how good they have it? I have never understood this. THE GRASS IS NEVER GREEN ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Recommended Posts